Page 60 of The Wonder of You
With Phoenix, I could plonk myself on his lap and he wouldn’t mind.
I know he could ask me any question and I’d answer it. I’d tell him, no matter how many ugly scars it opened up on me, because with him, those scars will close again.
“How old am I really though? If we don’t count the disappearance and rebirth?”
“Very, very old,” he grins.
“Like rather than being twenty-nine, I’m two hundred and twenty-nine?”
“Oh no, much older than that.”
I can’t comprehend that amount of time so I just forget it. Damn, I’m going to live forever. It’s scary but it’s kind of wonderful too. I’ll get to be here with Phoenix. As long as I remind myself; I am safe, I am with my true family, I can breathe… I know I can also manage all those old memories and whatever life might throw at me.
We sit in silence for a moment or two but I can feel Phoenix’s eyes on me, perhaps scared to look away, perhaps in fascination that I am here.
I love the way he looks at me. As if I am his world.
“We should probably go see everyone,” I suggest.
***
Stepping outside into the cool air feels so good on my face. I notice Lukas and Henry; they both look at mewith a smirk on their face. My cheeks burn up as I remember I screamed out in pleasure this morning.
Did they hear? Was I that loud?
But am I embarrassed? How can I be when I was making love to the most remarkable man in the universe?
I probably will try to keep it down in the future though. There are children about I remind myself.
I walk over to them and Henry goes to say something, but I notice the boyish expression on his face.
“Shut it, Henry. I know, I know! Don’t be a clown about it.”
He gasps.
I gasp.
I look at Lukas who has his mouth wide open in comical shock.
Then we all laugh.
“Oh god, I’ve missed you all so much,” I cry.
Lukas reaches forward hugging me, he raises me off the floor as I tightly wrap my arms around his shoulders.
I used to hate hugging, but not with my circus family. I want all the hugs I can get.
“I’ve missed you too, shortie.”
“I’m not sure about the shortie nickname, but I’ll let it slide for our reunion.”
I share a similar style hug with Henry, then with Toni. There are a lot of tears but also a lot of smiles. Then I hear the squeal, I instantly drop to my knees as Maudie runs towards me.
“There you are!” I say as I pull her into my arms, standing up and twirling her around.
“You remember, you’re back properly?” She leans out to look at me and I smile and nod.
“Yes, and I’m so sorry for pushing you Maudie, you know that don’t you? I hope I didn’t hurt you?”
