I try to mask the searing agitation that rises within me. “Good evening, I came to see if you would like to walk to dinner with me?” I say.
There’s a moment of hesitation before she nods. “If you wish.” Her tone is clipped, almost formal, and I can’t help but wonder what’s wrong.
We walk in silence, the tension between us making the air claggy and uncomfortable. I try to start a conversation, but her responses are curt, barely more than polite. Questions gnaw at me, but I can’t bring myself to ask her outright. Instead, I focus on trying to bridge the gap, but every attempt only seems to widen it further.
The grand dining hall is buzzing with the usual chatter when we take our seats, but I can’t focus on any of it. All I can think about is Eirabella, sitting literally one handspan away from me yet feeling miles apart. She’d only agreed to sit next to me after I’d loudly insisted and given her no chance to refuse. But she’s been avoiding looking at me since, and the cold she’s projecting toward me is like a knife twisting in my gut. She freely talks to Alina and Caelum, her voice as light, warm, and pleasant as she usually is, and it grates that she’s acting like that with them and not me. Laughing with them at inside jokes they’ve shared since gods only know when, and it’s as though she’s forgotten I’m even here. No,worse. It’s that she’s blatantly ignoring me.
“Eirabella, would you like some wine?” I gesture to the server with a tray standing between us, grateful for an excuse to speak to her.
“Water is fine,” she says to me shortly, but still manages to spare the server a thank you and polite smile.
Every attempt to engage with her is met with the same dismissive nod or a curt response. My frustration builds with every word she shares with the other people at the table, withevery laugh she gives that isn’t directed at me. She’s punishing me, and I can’t figure out why. What did I do? What did I say? The questions swirl in my mind, each one sharper than the last, each one digging deeper into the pit of my stomach.
Fuck. Maybe she has remembered what I’d said the other day during our roof picnic after all. All the thoughts about the things I crave doing to her. None of it was a lie, I do constantly fantasise about kissing her, fucking her but I shouldn’t have told her, not when there’s not a godsdammned thing I can do about it. But I hadn’t been able to keep my fucking mouth shut, she’d just been so open, so playful, so…irresistible. But in the cold light of day, she’s probably just thinking about what a creep I am. And frankly, I can’t blame her.
I run my hand through my hair, stealing a glance at her, but she’s still deep in conversation with my sister, like she either doesn’t know or care about the turmoil running through me right now. It’s not her style to ignore me though; if she’d been offended by what I’d said, she’d have just confronted me, told me I was being inappropriate and that she wasn’t having it. This has to be about something else.
At one point, I notice Julietta leaning over the table to talk to Eira, her voice low but filled with that practised sickly sweetness that always sets me on edge. “You know, Eirabella, some of the other ladies have been wondering why you’re not married. You are of age, after all. Perhaps you’ve been holding out for someone special from your darling little village? Or is your eye on our dear Crown Prince here?”
I open my mouth to tell Julietta to mind her own bloody business, but I don’t get a chance.
Eira’s usual bright smile doesn’t reach her eyes as she lets out a light laugh and replies, “Oh, goodness, no. I’m not looking for a husband. Pesky things, really. Not to mention, I’m hardly Prince Rylan’s type. Bit too opinionated, apparently. But thereareplenty of other prospects for the crown princess here, don’t you think? Like, well”—she makes a show of looking around, and then gesturing across the table”—you, Julietta. Do you think it’syouthat our dear prince has his eye on?” She cocks her head as if deep in thought and then adds, “I mean, you’d make alovelycouple. He’s handsome, you’re beautiful. And quite the matching personalities, too.”
Alina’s eyes flare wide as she gasps, and Caelum just outright guffaws. Elara, at least, has the good sense to hide her amusement behind her hand.
I, on the other hand, find my bloodboilingat Eirabella’s words. The thought of her suggesting Julietta—of all people—as a match for me stirs something fierce and possessive within me. Why the fuck is she acting like she wants me to be with someone else? If anyone dared suggest someone other than me for Eirabella, I’d rip the bloody, beating heart right out of them. Yet, she’s sitting right there, calm and cold as the ice she wields. Why is the very idea of her pushing me towards someone else, towardsanyonebut herself, and trying to distance herself from me is actually…hurting? And making me want to shake the everloving sense into her.
Before I can insert myself into the conversation, to tell Julietta exactly what I think about her comment to Eirabella, Eirabella turns her attention back to Alina, effectively cutting off that topic. She’s shutting me out completely, and it’s driving me damn near insane.
Caelum, ever the observant one, catches my dark mood and smirks. “Rough day, cousin? Something not going your way for once?” I shoot him a glare, the kind that would make anyone else back down. But Caelum just grins wider, enjoying my frustration.
Before I can regain my focus, I feel a dark presence at my side. My father leans over slightly, his voice low and pointed. “Itrust you have now calmed down after your little tantrum during the council meeting?”
I stiffen, forcing myself to remain composed. “I had legitimate concerns, Father. The timing—”
“The timing is exactly what it needs to be,” the king cuts in, his tone brooking no argument. “You will go to Larethia, and you will do so with the dignity expected of your position.”
My jaw tightens, but I manage a stiff nod. “Yes, of course. I just think there are other priorities.”
He studies me for a moment, his gaze hard. “You’ll let me figure out what is best for my kingdom. Don’t make me rethink our deal, Rylan.”
With that, he turns his attention back to the dinner, leaving me seething. I turn back around, eager to talk to the person who’s been my sole source of comfort lately, only to feel a fresh wave of frustration wash over me.
Eirabella and Julietta have swapped seats.
Julietta is now sitting next to me, her eyelashes batting wildly as she focuses her calculating eyes on me. But I barely hear a thing she’s saying. My eyes are cast across the table on Eirabella, already deep in conversation with Caelum, who keeps touching her arm as he speaks. Her entire face is lit up as she looks genuinely engrossed in what he’s saying, and when he leans in, his lips almost brushing against her ear, shelaughs.
She.Fucking.Laughs.
There’s no denying now that it’s pure, burning jealousy that fuels the roar of blood rushing past my ears.
As I stare at them, willing my cousin to keel over from a heart attack so I can take his seat, my mother leans over to Julietta, her voice polite as always. “Your dress is lovely, Julietta.”
Julietta beams, clearly pleased. “Thank you, Your Majesty. Eirabella suggested we swap seats so I could spend some timewith Rylan since he’s been gone so much recently. And so she could get to know Caelum more.”
Her words send me over the godsdamned edge.
The thought that Eirabella orchestrated this, that she purposely moved away from me and moved Julietta here in her place, makes me lose whatever tenuous grip I still have on my sanity. Why in the world would she think I’d want to spend more time with Julietta? And how could she just push me away like I mean nothing to her? And for him?
