Page 8 of Pretend for Me
“I think you’ve displayed enough of your hair dressing prowess for one day. I’ll get it fixed elsewhere where the stylists aren’t asleep on the job.”
Piper places her hand dramatically over her heart. “Ouch! Low blow, Mr. Menon.”
I suppress my eyeroll and the almost-lift of the corners of my mouth. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever rolled my eyes at anyone in all the time I remember. And I certainly haven’t almost smiled after they’ve fucked up my hair.
I reach for the door, turning to Piper once more. “I wish I could say see you next time, but clearly . . .” I don’t finish the rest of the sentence since it doesn’t need to be said.
“Dev, in all honesty,” she says, looking sincere once more. “I feel terrible about what happened. Please, let me do something to make up for it. I’ll do anything.”
“Thanks, but I think I’ll manage.” I look at my watch before pulling the door open. “See you never, Ms. Piper.”
And right as I’m leaving, I hear a loudly emitted,“I miss you!”in that same nasally tone.
Damn weird ass cat.
four
dev
Five Schlongs Hen Party
Hudson Case
Got a full frontal of Dev’s new haircut after the shareholders’ meeting today.
[Image attachment: New Line of Chia Pets Available While Supplies Last]
Dean Meyer
Dude. @Dev Menon, what the fuck happened to your hair? It looks like the before picture in a Rogaine commercial.
Darian Meyer
Jesus. Not trying to bust your balls, man, but the heavy metal ship might have sailed.
Garrett Meyer
Oh, fuck! I’m totally using this for the face of the scarecrow I put in the front yard during Halloween!
Hudson Case
I was practically howling fromlaughter.
Dev Menon
Assholes.
@Hudson Case, this was the work of your so-called incredible hairdresser. I fucking look like the love child of Chewbacca and a topiary!
Garrett Meyer
[Ryan Gosling covering mouth laughing GIF]
Hudson Case
What? Piper is a top-notch stylist. It’s why my hair always looks so good. Brings people to tears.
Dean Meyer
