Page 9 of Loss
“Hey, baby,” she purrs, running her hand up my leg toward my cock.
I don’t bother responding to her, there’s no need. She lets her hand stop on top of my hardening cock still encased in my jeans from the day before. I lick my lips and set the bottle down. If she wants to take care of me, who am I to stop her?
“Take my cock out and suck it,” I tell her, slurring my words as I relax back against the couch.
She does as I say and pulls my zipper down after unbuttoning my jeans. I close my eyes as she slides her mouth down my cock and back up. After several minutes of her doing this, I pull her off. The bitch has no clue what she’s doing with a dick in her mouth. It’s clear even in my drunk state that this woman hasn’t ever been taught how to suck a cock and yet still thinks she’s the best at it. She’s not. Fucking my hand feels better than whatever the hell she was just doing to me.
I’m sober enough to pull a condom from my pocket as she watches me roll it over my length and make sure it stays in place. I grab her hip and slide her over so she’s straddling my legs and pull her down on my length without doing anything to get her ready for me. She moans out my name in a loud, annoying voice and I tell her to shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear her voice for any reason. In my head, I’m with Annabell because it’s the only way my cock will stay hard. If I let myself think about the woman I’m actually fucking, my dick shrivels up and playtime is over. It’s happened more than once over the last few weeks when I forget and I don’t want to be with the women I’m with so it’s easy to pretend I’m with the only woman I want.
I thrust my hips up repeatedly into the bitch riding me and trying not to moan like a porn star.
“If you want to get off, I suggest you get yourself there,” I tell her, gritting my teeth.
Continuing to pound into her, the girl reaches down between us and plays with her clit. I don’t kiss her, play with her tits, or anything else. Other than my hands on her hips to slide her up and down my cock, I don’t touch her at all. I don’t want to. I never want to touch these women. They read too much into that shit and I’m not about to have one of them thinking I’m their man or some shit because I’ve gone back to fucking them and can’t remember if I’m fucking the same one repeatedly lately. They all bleed into one another and I can’t tell the difference in my drunken state. She screams out her release as I find my own, filling the condom with my cum.
I lay down on the couch after taking the condom off, tying a knot in it, and tossing it on the floor. The bitch lays down on top of me like we’ve done this a thousand times before. I don’t let the house bunnies lay with me once I’ve fucked them, and I sure as fuck don’t cuddle them. They won’t ever be my woman and that’s shit I’ll only give to her. These bitches know what they get with me and I’m not about to change that shit now. However, before I can tell her to get the fuck up, I’m passing out. Darkness is consuming me and dragging me under for some sweet relief once again.
Waking up to a slamming in the common room, I jump up and knock someone to the floor. Looking down, I see one of the house bunnies lying there glaring up at me. While I know I didn’t hurt her, I don’t give a fuck if she’s pissed I just dropped her to the floor. She doesn’t matter to me at all. I turn my attention toward the kitchen and catch the back of Annabell flying through the door. Fuck!
She just caught me with my cock out, literally, and one of the house bunnies on top of me. Slim, Hunter, Killer, and Valor stand there looking at me with varying degrees of rage on their faces. I’m not sure who’s more pissed off at me in this moment—Slim or Hunter. Valor has a look of utter disappointment on his face. Right now, he looks so much like our dad that I reach up and rub the ache in my chest. This is my sign that dad would be disgusted by my actions in ways I’ve never experienced before.
“What did she see?” I croak out, my heart racing and shattering in my chest all at the same time.
“What the fuck do you think she saw?” Slim asks, snapping once again at me as he steps up close and Killer places a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know what the fuck to do with you anymore, Vault. But I won’t have that girl hurt any more than she already has been. She’s my fuckin’ daughter and I will protect her from you. You’re done fuckin’ with her. I’m glad she’s fuckin’ graduatin’ early and can leave this place behind. She can leave you behind and live the life I thought she’d have with you.”
“Slim . . .,” I begin to say.
“Fuckin’ save it! Get this fuckin’ place cleaned up. Since you don’t want to work anymore and all you wanna do is fuckin’ find your way to the bottom of a bottle, you can clean the clubhouse,” he yells before following in Annabell’s direction.
I want to yell out that I’m not a damn Prospect anymore, but one look from Killer stops me in my tracks. He’s right—I’m acting worse than a Prospect because I’m not pulling my weight around here. I’m letting everyone else cover for me while I fuck around and become someone I can’t stand even more on a daily basis. Fuck!
After helping the house bunny up off the floor and watching her walk away from me, I start picking up the shit in the common room. There’s empty bottles, cups, and breakfast shit littering the tables along with shit all over the floor. It’s been a while since I’ve had to do this kind of work, and it’s not the easiest when I’m still more than a little drunk, but I do what I can before grabbing my bottle and heading to my room so I can be alone for the rest of the night.
The only thoughts running through my head are when I’m going to stop being such a fucking dick to Annabell. She deserves the world and I used to be the man who would give it to her. Now, I’m nobody anyone wants around. Something has to change. Maybe I need to get sober and leave here for a while. Try to find my own way in the world or at least a way to deal with the grief and pain I’m feeling. As long as I’m not hurting my girl anymore, I’ll do whatever it takes.
Chapter Six
Annabell
IT’S BEEN THREE days since I walked in the clubhouse to find Vault passed out on the couch with a house bunny covering him. I could see his dick hanging out and her with no panties on under her miniscule skirt. My heart shattered all over again as I slammed into a chair in my hasty retreat from the room. Pain filled my hip where I hit and I let it fill me more than the shattering of my heart so I didn’t break down in front of everyone with me. What started out as a good day quickly turned to shit in the blink of an eye. Today was my first driving lesson with Valor and I did better than I thought I would. Now, all I can see is Vault on the couch with his latest fuck buddy. This will be the last time I come to the clubhouse for any reason.
Running all the way to the house, I shut myself in my room. Slim follows me home and tries getting me to talk to him, but I ask him to leave me alone for now. I’ll eventually get over Vault and the love I feel for him. He’s making it easy with the way he’s been acting. Plus, I’ve been talking to someone at school. This guy is a football player and he knows something is going on with me, but he doesn’t know the details of things just yet. When I feel we’re in a stage where he needs to know, I’ll open myself up and be completely honest with him. For now, I’m enjoying talking to someone who doesn’t want to just fuck me or parade me around school like some kind of trophy.
Even before, I know Vault drank and partied with the guys at the clubhouse. However, it’s all he does now. He’s not going to work, hanging out with anyone in the club, and he mopes around the clubhouse. That’s when he decides to leave his room. For the most part he locks himself away and only comes out to get a new bottle of alcohol before disappearing once again. I get he feels the loss of his dad more than anyone else, except for Valor maybe, but he’s self-destructing and it’s not a good thing. I won’t watch him do this or take the shit he’s been dealing my way. I can’t let myself listen to the lies he spews when he tells me he’s sorry or anything else.
So, all I’ve been doing is going to school and practice. I’ve been working hard since I’ve doubled up on my junior and senior year so I can graduate earlier than the rest of the class and I’ll be done with school just after my eighteenth birthday. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. There’s only one person who gets my attention and I light up when my phone goes off with a notification from him. Slim and Shy have noticed but they don’t ask me any questions and I silently thank them for letting me have this.
My plan was originally to take a few months off and hang out with Vault and help Shy with the girls. Now, I’m just going to go to college at the beginning of the next semester. There’s no reason for me to stick around here and wait for a man who may never be the same again. I won’t let him continue to hurt me the way he has been. So, I’ve already talked to Shy and Slim and let them know I’ll be leaving a few weeks after I graduate instead of waiting for the summer classes to start. It’s one of the main reasons that I really haven’t let anything go beyond a little flirtatious talking with the guy from school. He’ll still be in high school when I’m starting college. Maybe I’ll meet someone in college that I can let in. Because yeah, it just hit me that I’ll be leaving this guy behind when I head to school in a few weeks.
The only time I’m going to come home is if there’s a break from school and I can walk the stage at high school for my graduation with the rest of my classmates. It’s something Slim and Shy want to see me do and I want to make them happy after everything they’ve done for me. They’ve taken me in and done so much to help me deal with the loss of my family and make sure I have a roof over my head, clothes to wear, food to eat, and they’ve given me all the love and support they have to give. Slim and Shy didn’t have to do anything for me. They honestly could’ve turned me over to the county and wiped their hands of me. Instead, the two of them chose to love me and give me the support of the entire club as I went through the darkest days of my life. I’m grateful to them and there’s no way I’ll ever be able to repay them.
It’s why I work so hard at school and try to do as much around the house for them as I can. And why I watch the girls so Shy can hang out with Slim at the clubhouse on party nights. Slim’s been busy with club business and I like to make sure they get to spend time together. It’s important they get to have time alone more than the middle of the night or when the girls are down for a nap. They’re a couple who have chosen to put so many others before themselves. Slim will always put the club first and do what’s needed to ensure it runs smoothly and everyone is doing what needs to be done. Shy is a mom first and then puts the club second. They get together when they can and always make time for one another at night when the girls are already in bed. If I can make it so they’re able to spend a little more time together, it’s not a big deal to me.
Tonight I’ll be watching Kinsliegh and Rayven while they go to the club’s cookout. Well, they’ll have the girls until things get rowdy. Then I’ll have them. Hunter is going to bring them back to the house so I don’t have to go over there. After the last time, I refuse to go to the clubhouse anymore. I don’t need to see Vault wrapped around another house bunny or random slut with his dick hanging out. It’s already a sight I can’t unsee and one I don’t want to relive anytime soon.
Slim knows why I won’t go to the clubhouse anymore. I’m sure he’s told Shy why, but no one else knows unless they were there that day. They don’t need to know why I refuse to go there. I’m sure they can guess, but they’ll leave me alone about it. Slim will make sure of it. That’s one of the reasons I love him. He always watches out for me. Even if he does take it a little overboard sometimes. Like with telling the guys I’m not to be touched. Who does that? Slim does because he doesn’t want to see me hurt any more than what I’ve already been through.
When I talked to Slim about telling the guys in the club that, he just shrugged his shoulders and went on about his business. He said he wasn’t lifting the ban on me and that was pretty much the end of the conversation. Shy keeps telling me he wants better for me, not a Phantom Bastard. He wants me to find a guy with a regular job to settle down with and have a family. Eventually. Well, I want a man like those he’s chosen to make his family and surround himself with.
