Page 24 of The Lies That Shatter
As Mel’s expression falls and she glares at me with contempt, I know I need to act fast to save this situation. I silently hope doing this will salvage the job with Mel, and won’t hurt Mac too much.
Without thinking it over, I reach to grab the back of Mel’s neck, my fingers lacing into her hair as I pull her towards me. As her chest presses against mine, I crash my mouth over hers. She doesn’t hesitate, throwing her arms around my neck as her tongue plunges into my mouth.
Before I’m able to close my eyes and pretend I’m somewhere else, I see the pain reflected in McKenna’s chocolate eyes, and I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to repair the damage between us.
I gently pull away from Mel, making it look like it’s the last thing I want to do, before I lean down to whisper in her ear.“I wish I could stay with you tonight, but you are needed here. The only reason I’m offering her a lift home is so that I can feel helpful in some way. Before you let your mind run away with itself, remember…you’re the only woman I want to give a ride to.”
My voice is deep and gravelly, dripping with as much sex as I can fake, and as I pull back, I give her a sexy wink. As the blush spread across her cheeks, I cross my fingers, hoping I may have survived this one. Then I look over at the stone mask on McKenna’s face, and I can’t help but think I’ve saved things with the wrong woman.
“Thanks for the lift. It’s much appreciated. I will meet you out by your car when you’re finished,” Mac says, her voice tight and lacking emotion.
My stomach sinks, and I have no fucking idea how I can make this right. This is exactly why I made it clear we couldn’t be together while I’m doing this type of work. Now that I know she wants me and is here for me, it’s getting even harder to do the job when all I can think about is Mac. I need to make sure I don’t lose her before I have the chance to really make her mine.
Standing beside Finn’s car, my whole body is practically vibrating with pent up energy. I feel like I need to pace, but I settle for fiddling with my hands whilst trying to school my face into a vacant mask. In reality, I’m anything but empty.
Last time Mel kissed Finn, I saw red. The green-eyed monster had complete control over me, and I hated the way she tried to claim him in front of me. I didn’t think I could feel any worse—until today.
Watching Finn pull that snotty bitch into his arms, holding her close the way I dream about him doing with me, before he pressed his soft, smooth lips against hers… It was torture. He tried to keep his true emotions hidden, but I could tell kissing her was the last thing he wanted to do, so he must have felt hehad a good reason for doing it. Knowing that still doesn’t make the gaping hole in my chest feel any less raw.
When he offered to give me a lift home, I felt on cloud nine. I watched him during all the drama with Mel. The way he bit the inside of his cheek and clenched his free hand into a fist, trying to stop himself from speaking up on my behalf. Even when we were kids, he was always super protective of me, so it can’t have been easy to stand there and let that miserable witch shout at me, trying to assert her dominance over me.
The problem is, when Finn offered to give me a ride home, the look on Mel’s face was pure murder. She’s so determined to prove that he belongs to her—which is utter madness given that she’s fucking married—she hated him showing me any kindness. I don’t know what Finn said to her to calm her down, and I suspect I don’t actually want to know, but it worked. Or it could have been the toe-curling kiss that won her over.
Watching him kiss that evil bitch hurt more than it should. I know he doesn’t really like her, and that this is all a job, but no matter how much I tell my brain he’s only acting, it still hurts.
Maybe Finn was right when he told me I should leave, that I couldn’t do this.
I almost want to laugh to myself at that comment. I was raised in foster care. Passed around from home to home, and I’ve never really known love. I learnt to be strong before I learnt to walk. Finn’s the only person I have ever cared about.
I walked away before, thinking he didn’t want me, and I’ve never been lonelier. I can bullshit my brain into thinking he’s not interested, or that it hurts too much seeing him with Mel, but it’s all a protective mechanism. I know what pain feels like. I’ve lived through every version of pain there is, and I came out stronger.
The only pain that seriously gutted me and left me with a rotting hole where my heart should be was the day I walked away from Finn. The day I let him push me away. Now I know how hefeels, and why he pushed me away, I’m not going to let him do that again.
No matter how much doing this job will hurt me, I know it’ll be worth it in the end, because I get the one thing I’ve waited my whole life for…him!
I’m pulled from my thoughts by beeping coming from the car beneath me, and I quickly jump off the bonnet I was sitting on, so as to not set off the alarm. Finn strides down the concrete stairs leading away from the main front door, aiming straight for the driver side door. He’s deliberately not looking at me, and my heart races. I gulp, nerves getting the better of me as he pulls his door open.
“Get in,” he snaps, still looking anywhere except at me.
Quickly, I do as I’m told. I throw my bag into the backseat and climb in beside him. I can feel the warmth radiating from his body, and it feels like he’s trembling beside me. I’m not sure if it’s anger or nerves, but I can practically feel the energy sizzling around him. It’s enough to make me hold my tongue.
He doesn’t even wait for me to fasten my seat belt before he fires up the engine and speeds down the driveway. I risk a glance his way out of the corner of my eye, and he's sitting so straight it looks like someone has shoved a broom up his ass. His face is as hard as stone, and his steely gaze is fixed on the road in front of him.
I expect him to cast little glances my way, but nothing. Usually when we’re in a room together, I can feel his eyes on me, watching me constantly, like he can’t stop himself from being drawn to me. I know the feeling because it’s how I feel whenever I’m near him. So the fact he’s able to stop himself from looking at me sets me further on edge. I can’t stop picking the skin around my nails.
Silence fills the air and it’s deafening. I can practically feel the tension and chemistry sizzling between us, but I’m not sure what the hell to say.
I’m in the middle of running through a million different sentence starters in my head when Finn breaks the silence first, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry.”
I look over at him and the Finn I saw a moment ago is gone. His shoulders are slumped, his tight grip on the steering wheel is now relaxed, and his expression has fallen. His tight mouth is dipped into a frown, but it’s the sadness in his crystal blue eyes that breaks me.
“Why are you sorry?” I ask, as I turn in my seat so I can face him properly. It’s hard to do with my seatbelt on, and I know he can’t do the same as he has to keep driving, but I need to give him my full attention.
“I didn’t want to kiss her,” he says through gritted teeth, and although the sadness is still there, it’s not hard to miss the sneer in his tone—and fuck me if it doesn’t light me up inside.
“I know,” I reply, my voice barely a whisper.
Even though I say the words, and I think I believe them, there’s always that niggling doubt. She’s obviously a beautiful older woman, with way more experience than me. Not to mention, she’s rich enough to buy everything I own millions of times over.