I don’t remember a single word of it. My gown had floated to the top of the water, and with my wrists bound, I couldn’t push it down.
Then he dunked me beneath the surface.
Jesus didn’t come to me.
But Elijah did.
I was sent to the small room behind the chapel stage to change back into my clothes. My hair was stuck to my head and my teeth chattered. As I untied the gown, I wondered what I’d done wrong. Did I not pray hard enough? Did I get the words wrong? Was I supposed to concentrate harder?
Elijah slipped through the door and blocked it with his body. His button-up was glued to his skin, his khaki slacks looked three shades darker when wet, and the sound of his belt coming undone sent a chill up my spine.“We have about ten minutes before the service is over.”
I tightened the robe around my body, but Elijah pulled it up.
“What if someone walks in?”I asked as he laid me across the couch.
Falling between my legs, he said,“I locked the door.”
But there wasn’t a lock on the door at all.
The pastor who’d proclaimed how good God was before my baptism walked in as Elijah buried himself inside of me, and he walked right back out.
He returned with my parents.
Elijah cried,“Temptress.”
And I cried,“Liar.”
But he said,“She’s wicked.”
I didn’t say anything.
They believed him.
Mom plucked the blue polyester pantsuit from the couch and clung to it like a life preserver. The tears that streamed down her face only further enraged my dad, who didn’t look surprised that his just-baptized daughter had fucked the poor, unsuspecting ministry volunteer.
His expression screamed,Not worth saving.
“Mom,”I sobbed.“It’s not true.”
The God is good Pastor gave Elijah a towel and a comforting pat on the back. The gown hung off my body, dripping holy water onto the floor. But no one offered me a towel or the benefit of the doubt. The Jezebel was left to stand in her own disaster before the stoning began.
My brothers followed the commotion into the small room, where more bodies congregated than space allowed. I gasped for air between sobs, cornered with no way out. For a single moment, I believed my brothers were capable of compassion. Their sister was crying, and the reason why stood against the wall and spilled lies with a dirty tongue. A dormant impulse flared inside of them, and they squared their shoulders. Elijah took a cautious step back.
Daddy slapped me across the face.
Instinct slept, and my siblings corrected their lapses in judgment and turned benevolence into distaste. The cold stare in their matching eyes is the last memory I have of them.
I wouldn’t see my brothers again, but the image of their disappointment reaches from the darkness as Luca spins the wheels of the car, peeling away from the curb. I’m thrown from one side of the trunk to the other, hitting my head on something metal. I choke on the thick scent of burning rubber and gag on panic, sucking in air between coughs quicker than my lungs can handle. The bumpy road beneath the tires mutes my cries for help, but I scream until my voice runs dry. Prickling heat oozes through my body, stretching through the tips of my fingers and toes. I’m cold and hot, sweating and shaking all at once.
There’s no beginning or end to this darkness. I can’t tell if my eyes are open or closed as the worst of my nightmares filter in through the never-ending void. I cut my palms looking for a way out, sliding my hands along the coffin-like box. My knees hit the top of the trunk as I kick the side panels, splitting my skin open. Nothing budges but my veins.
I’m trapped inside the trunk, inside my sweatshirt, inside my bleeding skin—inside my head as snapshots from my past flood to the surface of my memory.
“She seduced me,”Elijah had said.“I didn’t have a choice. I was powerless.”
Pulling the collar of my hoodie away from my neck, I cock my head back and gasp for air. The trunk is sealed absolutely closed. No light trickles in. No fresh air soothes me. Nothing touches me but darkness and Luca’s voice.
“Cry a little louder for me, Cami.” The sound of that name only ever used by Elijah turns my blood into ice. “I’m the only one who can hear you.”
