Page 32 of Abigail's King
Mateus sat there for a moment, thinking about everything.
“Do you have any idea who could have found you here? It seems strange that they couldn’t find you at your house in London, but as soon as you came here, they knew exactly where you were. Something doesn’t seem right here.”
I thought for a moment. He was right. It didn’t make sense.
“I know what you’re saying, and I can’t understand it either.”
“Who knew where you are staying?”
“Apart from my friends, Jo, the boss of the agency, and Bianca, who is Abigail’s PA.”
“Do you think either of them has something to do with it?”
“I would say definitely not for Jo. Bianca is another story, though. She’s not long broken up with her boyfriend because he was obsessed with another woman. I have Jayden and the guys checking him out as we speak. I believe they were going to see him today, so hopefully they will be able to get back to me later.”
My gut instinct told me that Gary had nothing to do with this, but something about Bianca worried me. The way she had gotten so defensive when I asked about her ex in the office set alarm bells ringing.
“What have you found out about Bianca?”
“Not much. She seems clean. But there was something about her when I spoke to her. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.”
“Let me have her name, and I will see what I can find out. I know you will have already looked into her, but it doesn’t hurt to take another look. My contacts may be able to find something yours have missed.”
It was a long shot, but I wasn’t going to turn down the chance for someone checking her out. I passed her name over to Mateus, and we both sat there in silence for a while. There was so much we needed to say to each other, but neither of us knew where to start. I was just about to cut through the awkward silence when Mateus decided to do it for me.
“Everyone misses you, Kye. It doesn’t matter what you think they feel about you. They all still love you. I still love you.”
“How can you say that after everything I said?”
“Because you’re my younger brother, and that’s what we do. Forgive people. I know you were hurt when you realised that Sofia had fallen in love with me. And I know you were hurting when you said all those things to me. But I also know, deep down in your heart, you never really meant it. Sofia never knew how you felt about her, but even if she had, she didn’t feel the same way about you. I know that’s painful to hear, but it’s the truth. There is someone out there for you. If I’m honest with you, I think you have already found her. You just need to forgive yourself and realise that all the women you cared about up until this point weren’t the right woman for you. You were just there at the right time to help, protect, and provide support to them.”
I thought about what he was saying and looked down and Abigail. Was what Mateus was saying right? Was it just the fact that Abigail always was meant to be mine and the other women I had loved and cared for were just sent to me as a test of my strength? I wasn’t so sure.
“I know about Sienna. I read the police report after I contacted Jayden when I found out you were in the UK. I know the life you were living before King’s was wrong. But you never killed anybody. You lost your faith and followed a path you thought you needed to take. But you have a fresh start here with Abigail. You just have to believe in the faith you once had and forgive yourself, as I’ve said. God will forgive you. You saved Sienna’s life by taking that bullet. You could have been killed. If he doesn’t forgive you, then he is not the God I believe in.”
“I asked for forgiveness last night.”
I couldn’t say what had made me blurt that out. I just needed to say it. After speaking alone to no one in particular last night, although it had felt right at the time and I had felt a great weight lifted, I needed to say it to someone that could reply.
“And were you forgiven?”
“I won’t know that until I face him at my end, but I did feel the light. I slept for the first time in nearly ten years without the nightmares that have plagued me. Whether that light was from God or Abigail is my light, I can’t say, but it is thanks to that I can speak to you today. I’m sorry, Mateus. Sorry for everything I said. Sorry that I felt I had to run away. I couldn’t watch you live a happy life with Sofia. It hurt me too much. But I do realise something. I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve to have a woman to care for. Not one of my own anyway. The sins I have committed the past eighteen years—”
I saw the look of almost anger on Mateus’ face as he interrupted me. “Stop right there, Kye. I know how you feel about Abigail. Are you going to admit it to me?”
I looked up at him. He could never know how I felt about my Bonita. I had only admitted it to myself last night. He couldn’t realise after seeing her with me for the past thirty minutes.
“What’s to admit? She is a beautiful, intelligent woman. Of course I have feelings for her. I’m here to keep her safe.”
“And you do that as well as calling her Bonita? When are you going to admit to me and yourself that you love her?”
I looked down to the floor not being able to look him in the eyes. I would never admit to anyone how I truly felt about Abigail. I didn’t want anyone to know. It would only make it difficult for me and anyone I told when everything fell apart, as it inevitably would.
“Ricardo?”
I looked up at him when he used my given name. A tear rolled down my face.
“What I feel about her doesn’t matter. It would never work. Another man will come along, and that would be the end of us.”
