“Also, I wanted to live at home to save up some money. Funny thing is, living with my parents brings me back to all the awful reminders of what a marriage isn’t. I wanted to escape my life from Marty, yet I’m back with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but it was my only option to save some money. If Jaime and I last, maybe I’ll be able to go back to Ireland. I’m trying to plan ahead.”
“If you move back to Ireland, I’ll be visiting.”
“I have to move back to Boston for fall semester, though. I’m too far into my program to transfer anywhere else.”
“Is Marty still with Scott?”
“Who knows? She and Scott can live happily ever after for all I care.” I couldn’t stop the bitterness from seeping into my voice. “Do you believe in fate?”
Jenny took a sip of tea. “I think so. If you asked me three years ago I would have said no, but weird things happen that don’t make any sense. Like my parents getting divorced just to remarry each other. That’s gotta be fate.”
“If my parents ever fell back in love, I think I’d give up on love altogether.”
“Do you believe in fate?”
“I didn’t, but then I met a matchmaker in Ireland who told me I’d meet my match within six months. I believed Jaime was my match, but that hasn’t worked out the way I imagined since I got home. His prediction of six months is up in six weeks. I’m losing faith…but maybe what happened with Marty and Scott was fate. Maybe that needed to happen to show me that I am worth more than I believed I was. Maybe my match was really about finding me.” I shrugged. I knew I sounded stupid, so I flipped open my book. “You ready to study?”
“Yeah. Oh, I wanted to tell you. I’ve been applying to schools in Boston because I graduate with my associates this semester. I don’t know anyone there, even though there are a ton of colleges. I’ll be looking for a roommate if you want to live together? I’d rather live with you than a complete stranger.”
My heart warmed at her thoughtfulness. I liked Jenny. I’d only known her for a few weeks, but she was the only friend I had here. Plus, I’d need a place to live and I couldn’t afford to live alone. “Sure, that’d be great.”
“Awesome.” She flashed her straight, white teeth at me and pulled her thick, wavy hair into a ponytail. “Okay, time to ace this test.” She flipped open her book, and we quizzed each other on IDEA and FAPE.
When I got home that night, my mom was asleep on the couch and lights illuminated the stairs leading into the basement. I tucked a blanket around her and tiptoed downstairs. My dad sat on the recliner watching the news.
“Hey, Dad. Can we talk for a second?”
He muted the television and turned toward me. “Sure, what’s up? Everything okay?”
The talk earlier with Jenny had me thinking and I needed to get a few things off my chest. “Yeah, fine. Mom and I had a fight earlier.”
“About what?”
“You. Marriage. Love. I told her she would be better off divorcing you.”
He harumphed and crossed his arms over his chest. “We have an agreement and it works.”
“Dad, how do you define a successful life?”
Removing his glasses, he rubbed his eyes. “Successful?”
“Yeah, for me. Take you and mom out of the equation. What would my life look like that would make you a proud dad?”
“First, a good career, a nice home, and a husband who treated you well.”
“A good career. That’s number one on your list? Did you know my entire life you made me feel that if I wasn’t the best at school, I wasn’t worthy of your love?”
“Rory, where is this coming from?”
I leaned forward, hoping I appeared approachable. “I’ve had a lot of time to think and reflect on the life you and mom created and how you shaped me. That idea that I was never good enough has stayed with me…and because of that I picked men who didn’t treat me well. All because you don’t treat mom well and you were my example. Based on your behavior and words toward me, I learned I would never be good enough. So finding a husband who treats me well will probably never happen.”
His gaze dropped and he spoke to the floor. “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. I only wanted you to reach your potential.”
“You need to stop.” My words cut through the air like a knife. “And you need to let mom move on without you. You don’t love her and you’re keeping her hostage in this house. I’ve heard the fights about money and how mom would never make it without you. That’s bullshit, Dad. She’s a capable woman and she certainly doesn’t need your smug attitude. You bring women over here like you’re a bachelor. This is not normal, Dad!” I waved my arms frantically around his bachelor pad in our basement. “And you take her to your sister’s for Thanksgiving? I don’t even want to know what that was about. First, I thought maybe you were getting back together, but when I got home for Christmas, I saw that nothing had changed.”
“Just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean we don’t like each other.”
“But you don’t! Otherwise you wouldn’t be living in our basement. You’re forty-five years old…doesn’t this twisted life get old? You and mom have so much life to live, don’t you both deserve to be happy?”
