“How’ve you been?” he asked.
“Fine.” I rustled the magazine pages in my hand, staring at the sexy lingerie I would never wear.
“I haven’t seen you all week.”
“I’ve been busy, Jaime.” It was a lie, but I couldn’t shed my skin for him. Not when I didn’t understand what we were or what his intentions were.
His pencil grazed across the paper like water flowing down a waterfall. I felt his eyes on my legs and pulled my blanket up to my waist.
“Can we talk? It’s been weird lately.”
I rolled my eyes and twisted my thin frame against the corner of my bed.
He ripped out the drawing sheet from his spiral pad and tossed it across the room like a frisbee. “Here, this is for you.”
I flipped the paper over and smiled. Patting the space next to me, he joined me on my bed, but not so close that our hips and thighs touched.
An image of a woman with a similar likeness to me rested between us. I stared at the silky hair, slender legs, and almond-shaped eyes. “Is this me?”
“Yes.”
I looked at Jaime, and a fire burning behind his eyes caused my heart to smolder. “Why’d you draw it?” I asked.
“You’ve looked so sad this week. In a beautifully weird way, it hurts to look at you.”
Shameful memories from my past dropped on me like bombs, splattering my self-respect. Tears burned behind my eyes, and a rock formed in my throat, splitting my vocal cords open. I heard my father tell me I would never amount to anything because I wore a crop top in middle school. I felt my creepy neighbor look me up and down and comment on my tight jeans in high school. Then, I heard Scott tell me I would be nothing without him.
At the realization of that last memory, my heart stopped and the room spun.
This is not okay, Rory. Protect your heart. I leaned back and closed my eyes to force the tears back into my body. Falling in love with Jaime in nine weeks when he didn’t love me back was the worst thing I could have allowed.
“No, no, I don’t mean it in a bad way. You’re beautiful. Stunning. But I like you, and it upsets me to see you so sad.” His hand hovered over mine, and then he retracted it, seeming to realize that he was moving too fast for my vulnerable state. “What happened?”
Could I tell him?
“Nothing happened. Homesick is all. My best friend is coming for Thanksgiving, and I guess I’m sad that Thanksgiving is so far away,” I lied.
We locked eyes, and like a string holding us together tightened and pulled, the tips of our noses brushed against each other. My body screamed yes, but the voice in my head cried no.
“No-no-no,” I stuttered. Backed into the corner of the room, and trapped between Jaime and my bolted nightstand, I couldn’t escape this excruciating confrontation. My heart raced like I had just run with a bull in Pamplona and I teetered on wanting to know the truth or disappearing like a snowman in April.
He leaned back and analyzed my face. His loving eyes trapped me again, and I hated him for being so damn kind.
“Jaime.” My voice shook, and I didn’t know if I could continue. So much for my plan. I’m losing control again. I inhaled, refusing to let his presence knock me down. “What happened last weekend? Between you and Aoife. Owen told me you dated, and he didn’t know if you were still seeing each other.” I didn’t feel bad in the slightest calling out Owen or sharing who gave me my information. Chewing on my lip until I tasted blood, I waited.
He chuckled, causing my blood to boil and feelings of idiocy grow. This is a mistake. I turned away and gathered my magazines, frantic to escape his presence.
He grabbed my arm and pulled me toward him. “Wait.” His eyes pleaded for me to stay. “Listen. Don’t go.” His body stiffened, and so did mine. “This past weekend, I didn’t drink a lot. Well, at least not as much as you.”
I dropped my eyes, and my face burned.
“No, look at me.”
Looking up, a single tear rolled down my cheek. I couldn’t stay here and listen to him tell me he wasn’t interested.
“You seemed like you were having a great time. You drank a lot, which surprised me since, you know, you said you never drink around people you don’t know, but you seemed like you were having fun. You and Aoife hung out all night.”
I recalled my idea to make her jealous and couldn’t bring myself to ask if Jaime had picked up that vibe.
