“No?” I ask in disbelief. “You don’t get to say no to this, Katie,” I growl.
“Katie?” she repeats, raising her brow. “Not baby? Not Miss James? Now it’s Katie? Now that you’ve put me at risk of getting pregnant, I’m someone else to you altogether?” she scoffs, shaking her head. “You did this to me, and we’re sticking through it together.” She clenches her teeth. “Bruce!”
I drop my head, knowing damn well that I’m the one at fault here, but I don’t have a clue as to what I should do. I take a deep breath, but it doesn’t help. “Look, I’m just going to do things the way I had them planned from the beginning. A photographer will take the pictures of you from this point forward. I’m pulling out–”
She interrupts with a laugh. “Now you’re pulling out, huh? Is that supposed to be some kind of bad pun? Damn, I didn’t think you could be so funny,” she says sarcastically.
“Stop.” I look at her, and before I can stop myself, I speak harshly to her for the first time. “I need time, Katie. I need it, and I’m going to take it.” My voice is so cold that I see her shiver. “You’ll be fine here on your own. You can have your mother flown in, so you’ll have some companionship. You’ll still have everything: the job, the money, the apartment, and I’ll have a car brought here tomorrow. I’ll have the clothes I’ve bought for you brought over here, too. I just need some time, okay? Things have gotten out of hand.”
She blinks. Silence falls in the room, making the air thick. I turn, about to leave, but then she jumps up from the couch and grabs me by the arm.
“I love you!” she blurts out suddenly.
“Wha–”
Before I can even utter a syllable, she continues, her fingers tightening around my arm. “There. It’s out there. I love you, Bruce Lockhart. And I’d hoped to hell that you would love me too. And I prayed that you’d ask me to stay with you. I prayed that we could move forward and that there wouldn’t be an end to this – that this dream would never end. I know that you may not believe me, but this is special to me. I know I’ve never been in a relationship before, but this feels right.” She runs her fingers through her hair and starts to pace around the couch like a trapped animal. She keeps looking at me, waiting for me to say something as she gnaws at her bottom lip.
I stand there, torn between going and staying.
Talk to her, the voice tells me.
But I can’t.
I can’t deal with this right now. These emotions are taking control of every thought I have, and I don’t like it. I need to cool off and think logically.
She stops right in front of me, looking at me with great big eyes.
“For the first time in my life, something feels right,” she says with desperation tingeing her voice. “Please, don’t take that away from me.” She reaches forward to touch me, but I pull back, shaking my head.
“Bruce-”
I step back even further. “I need time, Katie. I’m sorry. I have to go.” Without another word, I turn on my heels and leave the apartment. The door slams behind me, and lingering on the landing, I can hear what sounds like sobs. They make my heart ache, but I do everything I can to ignore them. I almost turn back, but I’m a man of my word. At least I thought so. But now, I’m not so sure given how conflicted I feel myself.
I just need time, I tell myself. That’s all. I’ll sleep on it, and a solution will show itself. Or at least, I damn hope it will because right now, I don’t know what the fuck to do.
Goddamnit. Everything was going so well a couple of days ago, so what happened? My heart’s beating with excitement that she confessed her feelings, and I want to say them back to her. The words are on my lips, ready to spill over, and yet some part of me won’t let them get out. What’s wrong? How can this be happening? Resolutely, I turn and head to my car.
15
Katie
I’m alone.
So alone.
The bed feels impossibly big now that I’m the only one lying on it. I blink, tears falling onto my cheeks and down my face. I didn’t know it was possible to cry this much.
Hell, why am I crying in the first place?
It’s not like I mean a damn thing to that man. He just wanted someone to have sexy fun times with, and then poof! The chariot’s turned into a pumpkin once more.
That much is clear.
Why was I such a goddamn fool? Now that I think about it, I should have seen it coming. Literally. I should have known that a man like Bruce Lockhart would never want a relationship with a girl like me. After all, I’m nothing compared to his sophistication and charm. He leads a life among movie stars, whereas I grew up in a shitty duplex with PVC lining the walls.