He shakes his head. “It’s better this way,” he says, walking past me to the front door.
“Liam,” I call out. He halts his steps. “I would still like to be friends.”
His back tenses up; he looks over his shoulder and says, “I can’t be friends with someone I love.” He walks out the door, letting it slam shut behind him.
If my heart wasn’t already shattered enough, that was the final blow. The weight of his words cut deeper than I expected. I’ve experienced heartache before, but breaking someone's heart is different—and somehow, much harder.
Blakely
“Blakely,” I hear, followed by a knock on my bedroom door.
“Come in!” I yell. Paige comes storming in with her hands on her hips. “Paige!”
“What are you doing?” she questions.
“Organizing,” I say. It’s been a couple of weeks since I broke it off with Liam. I took time off work so I could move my and Amari’s stuff into my mom’s house and get everything situated. Even though this is the busiest time of the year for doctor appointments because everyone is trying to get in before their next year’s deductible starts all over, Dr. Peterson understood. I hope Paige isn’t here to yell at me for leaving her alone at the office. She must have come straight here from work because she’s still wearing her black scrubs.
I never knew how much stuff two people could accumulate in under a year. Moving our stuff back into my mom’s housethe first time wasn’t quite this hard, because we hardly had anything. But now I can’t seem to understand how we have so much more stuff. Good thing all the furniture that I had at Liam’s was his. I wouldn’t have known what to do with it.
“I don’t understand what you’re doing!” she says, hands on her hips.
“What do you mean?” I ask, putting a load of clothes on the bed.
Her mouth parts as she lets out a huff. “Why haven’t you talked to Kai yet?”
Oh, that’s what she means. “I don’t know. It just feels wrong.” How does she know I haven’t talked to him yet? Are Kevin and her talking about this to each other?
Paige shoves me by the shoulder. “You’re an idiot. How does love feel wrong? How does that kind oflovefeel wrong? I mean, look at me,” she says, pointing to her chest. “I can’t even find love, and you have it and you’re wasting it away.”
“You didn’t see the look on Liam’s face when I broke it off. It felt wrong to jump from one man to the next after hurting him.” I’ve been wanting to go to Kai and tell him. It feels right, yet so wrong—especially after how devastated Liam was. He was so hurt, he left the house in minutes, like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough. I don’t know what else I was expecting from him. I couldn’t even give him his ring back, so I left it on his pillow.
Since I’ve been off work, I’ve been the one to drop and pick Amari up from Kai, so he doesn’t notice I’m at my mom’s. He hasn’t suspected anything.
Paige falls onto my bed, messing up the pile of clothes I’ve already folded. “You always put everyone else's feelings above your own. You need to think of yourself and what you want.”
She is right, and hearing her say it stings. I’ve always put other people’s feelings above my own. I’ve always bent overbackward for people, giving them the benefit of the doubt, even if it’s at the cost of my happiness. Sometimes it’s exhausting, so I just let things slide.
“I’m sure Liam expects that you’re already back with Kai anyway, so what’s the difference?”
She is right again. But at least I know I’m not. Which doesn’t make it any better. Why do I do this to myself? I’ve always wanted my family back together. So why am I being an idiot and letting it pass me by? I don’t know how she does it, but she always knocks sense into me.
“Blakely.”
I narrow my gaze at her. Her brows are raised, as if she’s questioning my thoughts. I’m even questioning my thoughts. “Okay. I’ll go see him tonight.”
“How about right now?” she demands.
I roll my eyes. “I need a shower. The last thing I want to do is go over there and have him turn me away because of my hygiene.”
“Fine. But hurry.”
An hour later, I’m driving down Kai’s street. I’ve driven down this road a thousand times, but this time feels different. My nerves are ricochetting through my body, not knowing what he will say. This could be the start of a new chapter with him—or the end of the chapter with him.
I come to a stop, park my car, and the hum of the engine stops once I turn my car off. His apartment is dark; no lights are on, but the flickering TV illuminates his window. I try to take a deep breath to calm my nerves, but that doesn’t seem to help. I need to get this over with. The wet streets glisten underneath the streetlights as I make my way toward his apartment. My heart is racing, and my palms are cold and clammy. The closer I get, the quicker my heart races. Once I get in front of his door, a knot forms in my stomach, but I reach my hand up and knock.
Kai
A sudden knock echoes throughout my apartment. What the hell? Who could that be? I look over at my phone, realizing it’s not as late as I thought. These early sunsets mess my days up so much.
