Sure, it’s hard work and keeping things fresh can be a challenge, but I enjoy it.
Brady frowns. “Some things are more important than money.”
After all that I’ve shared with him, does he really think I don’t know that?
“Trust me, I know what matters. Camming has changed my life. I’m more confident in my body and in my ability to support myself.”
“Is it even safe?” he asks, though his tone suggests he’s already decided. “You have no clue who’s out there watching you or what they’re thinking.”
I have a pretty good idea what they’re thinking, but I don’t say that because it will not improve his perception of my work.
“I’m extremely careful. I don’t use my real name or share personal details from my life.” I pause, hoping he can understand where I’m coming from. “It’s why I live alone and don’t have many close friends. Not even Jenna knows I’m camming because if it were to get out, it would ruin my future. No one is going to hire a teacher who bares it all on the internet.”
“And yet you’re still doing it,” he deadpans.
“Only until graduation.” I shoot him a pointed look. “Camming is just a means to an end. Sort of like football.”
He huffs. “It’s not the same.”
“It’s exactly the same,” I say, voice rising an octave. “And for the record, this is why I don’t date. When you let people in, it gives them the ammunition to hurt you.”
He flinches, but I refuse to apologize for speaking my truth. I took a chance on Brady and I really care about him—far more than I ever expected to—but if he can’t accept my work, if he can’t accept me, then this thing between us is over.
“I— This is a lot to take in.” He shoves his hands into his pockets, but he doesn’t quite meet my eye. “I had a great time at the farm, but maybe we should call it a day. I need some time to process.”
I nod, because what else can I do? Brady’s request is perfectly reasonable.
So why does it feel like my chest is collapsing?
23
BRADY
How is this my life?
Three days ago, I was going down on the most beautiful woman on campus and today I’m watching B-grade porn alone in my bedroom. Probably not a wise decision given I have to leave for mandatory team study hall in half an hour, but they say love makes people do foolish things.
It doesn’t matter that Piper and I have only known each other for two months.
Gran’s right. When you know, you know.
I love Piper.
Maybe it started the night we met, or maybe it’s been building little by little each week, but when I saw her standing in the field holding that hideous little pumpkin, I knew.
I’m completely and totally head over heels for her.
Which makes my current situation doubly frustrating.
I handled the discovery of her income source poorly.
I’ve been stewing on it for days. Despite what she probably thinks, I’m not a judgmental asshole. Camming isn’t something I’d do, but I’m surrounded by dudes who regularly watch porn, so it would be pretty damn hypocritical to judge Piper for profiting off the adult entertainment industry.
I just don’t like the idea of sharing my girl with the world.
She’s her own person.
Fuck. I know I don’t actually have the right to dictate who gets to see her naked, but damn if I want anyone seeing her O face but me.
