“Well, you’re right about that,” I snapped, suddenly and inexplicably angry. “I told you, Dean, that I don’t have any expectations of you. You were supposed to leave today. You were supposed to start your new life today. Instead, what? You’re going to hang out at some dingy old boarding house in Highland Falls and wait for the call?” I tossed up my hands. “Did you even think to ask me whether I wanted you to be here when the baby came? Do you picture yourself in the delivery room with me, playing the proud father before you tip your hat and leave us?“
Dean’s face went beet red. “That’s not fair, Willow,“ he said hotly. “All this time, all the way through this whole crazy roller coaster ride, I’ve done exactly what you asked me to do. I’ve listened to your wishes and abided by them. I was there when you needed me, and I stayed away when you told me to.” He wheeled around, putting his back to me. “I just don’t know what you want. Back last fall, you told me that you understood why we had to do things the way we did, keeping the secret. Every time I told you that I was willing to stand up and admit the truth, you told me not to do it. From where I stand, all I can see is that I’ve been with you as much as I could. I’ve done everything in my power to help you. And now I feel like you’re punishing me for doing exactly what you told me to do.”
“You know, you’re probably right.” I popped my hands on my hips, or at least where my hips used to be. “Apparently I’ve done nothing but think of me, me, me since I found out I was pregnant. To hear you tell it, I’ve played you like a puppet. But from whereIstand, it seems that you got everything that you wanted.” I begin to check off my points on my fingers. “Finished your last year at West Point and graduated? Check! Finished high enough in class ranking that you got to choose your branch and first post? Check! Off to live life wherever you want with whoever you want, on your own terms? Check!” I lowered my voice, bending forward just a little bit. “Will get all of the benefits of being father without actually having to hang around and be part of a family?” I straightened up and poked my finger into Dean’s chest. “Check, check, and check.”
“Well, that’s just bullshit,” Dean declared. “But I’m not going to argue with you, Willow. I don’t know what else I could’ve done to make you happy. I thought--I thought there for a while that maybe we had—that you felt—” He broke off and shook his head. “Apparently I was wrong about that, too.”
I was going to cry. I could feel it coming. I wasn’t going to be able to stop myself, but damned if I was going to stand out here in my parents’ driveway and lose my shit in front of Dean.
“I’m going inside,” I hissed. “You need to—go. Just go. You need to go live your life and forget about me.” I drew myself up. “You’ve been kind to me this whole year, Dean. You’re right about that. I probably wouldn’t have gotten through this pregnancy without you. But now you’ve done your duty. Go pack up your stuff, cancel your room at Highland Falls, and just—just go. Gosomewhere.”
Dean stared down at me, blinking rapidly. “Just where the hell am I supposed to go, Willow?” he asked, his voice rough. “Where am I supposed to go, when you are the center of my world?”
I took a step back, rearing as though I’ve been slapped. “What are you talking about?”
Dean took a step closer to me, closing the gap between us. “How am I supposed to go on?” he asked again. “How am I supposed to forget about you, when you are all I can think about, day and night?”
My breath caught. I couldn’t move away anymore because my back was flat against my father’s car. I lifted my chin to look at Dean.
“I don’t know what you’re saying,” I began, but he interrupted me.
“How am I supposed to live my life alone when you are my life?”
I sucked in a deep breath, but I didn’t have any idea of how to reply. It didn’t matter, because Dean wasn’t waiting for my answer. He slipped his hand behind my neck, threading his fingers through my hair and tilting my head back.
“I love you, Willow.”
And then he was kissing me, kissing me like I’d never been kissed before. There was a tiny, fleeting, spark familiarity—oh, I remember you—harkening back to last summer, and that one passionate night, but then everything else was new and magical and beautiful. It was everything that we’d gone through this past year, all of the angst and laughter and pain, but at its center was a strong and steady glow of love.
Dean pulled back a little only to press his forehead against mine. He still cradled my head in his broad hand.
“I love you, Willow.” His voice was husky. “I have loved you for a long time. But I was scared to tell you, because…” He shook his head. “Too many reasons to explain, and not one of them matters now. But I hope you can believe me and trust me. And I hope you know it’s true.” With his free hand, he stroked my cheek. “Is there any chance in hell that you could feel the same way about me?”
“I—” I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, pain ripped through the entire center of my body, and water gushed down my legs, soaking my circus tent maternity dress and the shoes that I had borrowed from my mother.
I raised terrified eyes to Dean.
“I think my water just broke.”
ChapterNineteen
Dean
“Pretty sure—I told you–that I–didn’t want you–here!”
In between panting to get through a contraction, Willow glared at me. I offered her what I hoped was a supportive, you-can-do-this!—smile in return even as her words hit a deep, tender spot inside me.
The woman to whom I’d only an hour before declared my love bared her teeth at me and snarled.
Standing next to me at Willow’s bedside, Patty Casey sighed and patted my arm apologetically.
“Don’t take it personally, Dean,” she advised. “Women in labor, particularly at this point in the process, tend to be…” She smirked. “Maybe slightly irrational?”
“I am not—deaf!” Willow ground out. “I’m not irrational, either!”
“Of course not, sweetie.”
I was pretty sure that Willow was about to roll her eyes, but another contraction hit before she could, and instead, she screwed up her face and begin panting again.
