The ceremony didn’t last much longer beyond the final second lieutenant receiving his bars, and once it was over, the graduates were free to go. Dean made a beeline for Mom, Dad and me.
“Oh, Dean!” Mom was on her tiptoes to give him a tight hug. “We’re so proud of you. Congratulations. You’re going to be such a wonderful asset to the army.”
Dad clapped Dean on the back. “You know, as a football coach, I don’t play favorites, but I’m going to admit something to you, son: you’re always going to hold a special place in my memory. Not only as a cadet and as a player, but as a man.” Dad glanced at me and then back at Dean and offered him his hand. I watched silently as the two most important, beloved men in my life shook hands.
“Dean,” my mother began. “I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but if you don’t have plans, John and I made reservations for lunch in Highland Falls. Just for the four of us.”
I saw the flash of gratitude in Dean’s eyes. No one from his family had come to graduation. None of his friends from home had made the effort to be here. All around us, the graduates were being embraced and celebrated by their families. I felt a new surge of appreciation for my own parents, who not only made big fusses over every milestone in my brother’s life and mine, but were also generous enough to make sure someone like Dean wasn’t left alone on his momentous day.
“Uh—” Dean looked at me, and I knew he was silently asking if I was all right with him joining us for lunch. I gave him a small nod.
“Mrs. Casey—and Coach—that is very kind. I would love to have lunch with all of you. Thank you.” He looked at my father and then at my mother, the deep meaning of his words apparent. “Thank you so much.”
“Well, come on, then.” Dad turned toward the exit. “Oh, and by the way, Lassiter, no more of thissirstuff. I’m no longer your coach, and you’re no longer my quarterback. You’re not a cadet anymore. Call me John.”
My father and mother walked ahead of us so they didn’t see the series of emotions that flashed across Dean’s face at my father’s words. But I did, and I understood.
* * *
Our lunch at the small Italian restaurant in Highland Falls was both wonderful and horrible. Wonderful, because I was sitting next to Dean, reveling in his company and happy to be celebrating him on this special day. Horrible, because I knew that it marked an ending. After lunch, he would go to the barracks, load up his car, and drive away from West Point. Where he was going or what he planned to do for the next six weeks, I didn’t know. I hadn’t asked. I’d told him to go away, and I had no one to blame but myself when he did.
The time that we had spent together since I had told him I was keeping the baby had been… stilted. We were both slightly tense, and I knew it was because we were both aware that what I wanted was something Dean couldn’t give me. Neither of us knew what to say to the other, or maybe it was that we had so much to say that we were afraid of what might happen if we began.
As we drove back onto post after lunch, my father offered to take Dean directly to the cadet parking lot to pick up his car.
“Sir—I mean, John.“ Dean ducked his head, chuckling ruefully. “I’ll just walk up there from your house if that’s okay.”
My father peered at Dean in the rearview mirror. “Are you sure about that, son? You’ve got to be all kinds of tired today.”
“John let the boy be.” My mother spoke firmly. “If he wants to head up there from our house, then what’s the difference?”
My father mumbled something under his breath which my mother studiously ignored. Next to me in the backseat, Dean’s hands had clenched into fists, although I wasn’t sure he was aware of it.
“I never asked you, Dean. Where are you spending your six weeks of leave?” my mother inquired.
Dean turned aside to look at me fully as he responded to my mom. “I hadn’t made any definite plans, ma’am. I thought—” He took a deep breath. “I thought that I would stay until after Willow had the baby. I’d like to be there for her.”
The air in the car was suddenly charged. I didn’t know if it was just because I had stiffened at Dean’s reply, or whether my parents were taken aback by what he said. But when I thought about it, logically, even from their point of view, it made sense. They both knew that Dean was my friend, a friend who had rushed to the hospital when I needed him. Since he’d been here for me all during my pregnancy, maybe it wasn’t so odd that he would want to hang around and see its conclusion.
On the other hand, as a man who was on the brink of his first six weeks of freedom in almost four years, it might’ve been a little strange, even so.
“Where will you stay then?” My mother’s voice was slightly strained.
“Oh—" Dean fiddled with the strap on his seatbelt. “There’s a place in Highland Falls. It’s a bed and breakfast room that I can rent by the week. I figured that was close enough.”
All of this was news to me. I wasn’t sure whether to be touched and gratified that Dean was not abandoning me right away or annoyed that he hadn’t asked if that was what I wanted.
My father turned the car into our driveway and stopped it. After we all climbed out and shut the doors, Dean shook hands with my father once more.
“Coach,” he began, his voice thick with emotion. “Coach, saying thank you seems so… inadequate for everything that you’ve done for me. You made me a better player, and you showed me so much compassion and kindness.” Dean shook his head. “I hope that someday, I can do the same for someone else.”
“That’s it, son.” My dad nodded. “Pay it forward. That’s all I ask.”
My mother came to our side of the car and wrapped her arms around Dean, hugging him close to her. I noticed that she whispered something in his ear before she pulled away—something that made Dean turn his head sharply and nod slightly.
After my parents had gone inside, Dean turned toward me. All of his earlier ease and relaxation seem to have disappeared, and on his face with a storm of uncertainty and anguish.
“Willow, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about staying. I—there just didn’t seem to be a right time to talk about it, and I knew that if I told you I was going to stay, you’d say I shouldn’t.”
