“Exactly.” I forced a smile. “That was it.”
“You gotta start living more dangerously, dude.” Norton yawned hugely. “Shake things up some. Do something . . . I don’t know. Wild and unexpected.”
“Right. I’ll get on that.” I picked up my shower bag. “I’ll be quiet when I come back in. See you at oh-dark-thirty.”
“You know it.” My friend’s voice was already half asleep before I opened our door to head for the communal bathrooms down the hall. I did everything necessary there, then returned my room, climbed under the sheet and blanket, and turned off the light next to my bed.
But it was a long, long time before I went to sleep.
ChapterSeven
Willow
Two days after Dean had come to dinner—and also, if we’re keeping track, two days after he’d made the instant decision to turn his back on me and the child we’d unintentionally created—I woke up from the best sleep I’d had in weeks and made the decision that I had to tell my parents that I was pregnant.
Even if I wasn’t going to see this through to completion, even if I made the choice to end my pregnancy, I’d need help. And honestly, I was tired of hiding the truth from my mom and dad. Tired of the tension I felt at every meal, tired of pretending that I was still actively looking for a job and doctoral program, when the truth was that I’d put that aside for the time being. I couldn’t concentrate on my future until I’d figured out my current situation.
Briefly, I considered talking to my mother by herself and letting her tell my dad, but I decided that was unfair to both of them. What I was facing was an undeniably adult circumstance, so I had to pull up my big girl pants and act like a grown-up.
As it happened, I didn’t get a chance to talk to my mom on her own that morning, anyway. When I came downstairs, she was in the foyer, pulling on her coat.
“Oh, Will, I’m glad you’re up,” she began before I could even say good morning. “Could you do me a favor?”
“Sure.” Considering the bomb as I was about to detonate in my family, I thought I owed it to my mother to be as agreeable as possible. “What do you need?”
“The woman who was in charge of collecting the donated baskets for the silent auction at the Army Strong benefit tomorrow just called me—her mother’s fallen and broken her hip, and she has to fly to Idaho right away.” My mom had always been active in charity work no matter where we lived, and I’d learned that West Point was no different. “She’s got most of the baskets at her house, but there are still a few to pick up.” Mom reached for her keys. “I’m driving over to her house now to load everything she has into my car and take it all over to the Thayer Hotel.”
“Okay. Want me to come along and lend a hand?”
My mother shook her head. “I was hoping you’d walk over to the chapel to collect one of the baskets Audrey hadn’t gotten to yet. The woman donating it works in the office at the chapel, and she says it’s all ready for you.” Mom grimaced. “She also says it’s not too bulky or heavy, so you shouldn’t have any problem carrying it home. I’ll meet you back here, and then if you have time to ride over to the hotel with me, I could definitely use help unloading and setting them up.”
I nodded. “No problem. I’ll run upstairs to get dressed and then head to the chapel. The woman who’s got the basket knows I’m coming?”
“Yep. Just go to the office and tell her that you’re Patty’s daughter.” Mom hitched her purse over her shoulder. “Thanks, honey. I’ll see you back here in about half an hour.”
* * *
I hadn’t been up to the Cadet Chapel yet, but it was impossible not to know the building; sitting high on a hill, it dominated the skyline of the academy. The Gothic square tower, made of natural granite, reminded me of the medieval fortresses that I’d seen in Europe, and I was eager to get a quick look at the interior.
But first, I had a basket to collect. I found the chapel offices easily enough, thanks to GPS on my phone, and when I asked at the front for Jenna Tyler, the woman I was supposed to meet, the receptionist nodded.
“She’s expecting you, but her ten o’clock appointment showed up early. She should be out in just a moment.”
“That’s fine,” I assured her, then added, “Would it be all right for me to go inside the main chapel while I’m waiting? I’m new to the academy, and I’ve wanted to see it.”
“Absolutely. The door’s open because our organist is practicing. Don’t worry about disturbing him—he won’t even know you’re there. Take your time.” She smiled. “It’s quite an experience, seeing it for the first time.”
“Thanks.” I walked back out the way I’d come, this time turning toward the main entrance of the enormous granite building.
My immediate impression when I’d stepped inside was that this felt more like a cathedral than a chapel. It made me feel very small and insignificant.
Beautiful, complicated music rang through the rafters, rippling through the flags that hung from the high arched ceiling. I was wearing sneakers, but nevertheless, I could still hear each of my footsteps on the polished stone floor as I walked to the center of the sanctuary and slipped into a pew to take a seat.
This was more than just a building. It was a concert for my senses as I ran one fingertip over the smooth wood of the chair in front of me, breathed in deep of decades of incense, gazed up at the sunlight refracting through the stained glass, and listened to the notes of the massive pipe organ. For the first time in so many long weeks, I felt an ease creep over my body, a sort of peace.
I’d been so wrapped up in my own problems, totally absorbed in something that seemed life-endingly catastrophic. My vision had been tunneled so narrowly that all I could think about was this pregnancy. This unplanned, unexpected, and wholly unwanted pregnancy.
Sitting there in the chapel, I thought for the first time what that positive pregnancy test would have meant to another woman, to one who had known only disappointment and loss, who dreamed of the day when she’d hold a baby in her arms. How unfair it was that against all odds, I’d conceived without trying? If only I could close my eyes and wish this unwelcome gift to someone who wanted and deserved it.
