A cold shiver runs over me, and my heart starts to thump against my rib cage. That really did all happen. I was suspended, and Lydia was kicked out of her home. I drank whisky with Alistair Ellington. Then James brought me home and promised me that he would put everything right.
My eyes drift automatically over to the pinboard above my desk. I can’t read the words on the dog-eared paper from here, but I know them by heart anyway.
A wave of nausea washes over me.
“You’re awake,” says Ember beside me, voice scratchy with sleep.
I can only grunt.
Ember leans up on one arm. “Where did you go yesterday? Mum and Dad were really freaking out.”
“I could ask you the same thing,” I retort, turning to face her. “I went to meet you at your school, but Maisie said you hadn’t been there.”
Ember opens her mouth and shuts it again. She blushes but doesn’t break off eye contact. In the end, she sighs. “I skipped, OK? I’m finding maths so hard at the moment that I just couldn’t face it. I needed a break.”
I frown at her. I’ve known Ember all her life, and I know very well when she’s keeping something from me. I don’t want to insist—after all, she’s perfectly entitled to have secrets. But I can’t help the uneasiness that’s filling me right now. I sit up a bit, but before I can reply, she hastily adds: “Please don’t tell Mum and Dad.”
I look back at her, thinking it over.
“Come on, Ruby.”
“I won’t say anything,” I answer in the end. “But if you need help—in maths or anything else—just let me know, OK?”
She nods. “Deal.”
Then an awkward silence fills the room.
“Is it true?” Ember eventually asks hesitantly. “Did you really get suspended?”
Now I sit right up. Black dots dance in front of my eyes, and I rub my face, then manage to nod.
At that same moment, there’s a quiet knock on the door and Mum pops her head into the room. I’m trying to read her expression, but she seems to be making a huge effort not to let her feelings show on her face.
“Mum…” I start, but she shakes her head.
“Your father and I would like you both to come downstairs,” she says emotionlessly. “We’re going to have a serious conversation with one another.”
She pulls her head back, and a moment later, I hear her walk down the stairs. I yawn and rub my eyes. Ember sits beside me. I can feel her eyes on me, and that she’s waiting for an answer.
I get up without another word and walk into the bathroom. I brush my teeth very thoroughly, to get rid of the bad taste, and wash my face. Then I put my hair in a ponytail and smooth down my fringe the best that I can. When I head back to my room, Ember goes into the bathroom. This morning routine is so familiar to me that my hand reaches for my school uniform of its own accord as I stand at my wardrobe. I snatch it back as hastily as if I’d burned myself on the navy blue. I have to take several deep breaths to fight down the rising panic before I can shove that hanger aside and take out a black midi skirt and a loose beige top instead.
Mum and Dad are already sitting at the table when Ember and I walk into the kitchen. On a normal morning, they’d greet us with a smile. They’d ask us about our plans for the day and tell us their own, and we’d have breakfast together. Now they’re looking blankly at us as we sit down opposite them. The only sound in the kitchen is the quiet gurgle of the coffee machine.
Mum and Dad exchange glances, apparently holding a silent conversation. Then Dad looks at me.
“What happened yesterday, Ruby?” he asks.
Confused, I look from one of them to the other. “I’m sure Mum’s already told you.”
“But I’d still like to hear it again from you.”
Dad’s expression is neutral, with none of the judgment or disappointment I saw in Mum’s face yesterday. It makes me want to stare at a dent in the table, not into his eyes.
“I was…I was suspended from school,” I say with an effort.
“Why?”
I grit my teeth. I’ve got goose bumps up my arms, and my hands feel unpleasantly cold and clammy. I’ve never felt this horrible in my family’s presence before. I wish I could get up and go back to my room.
