“I’m sorry, Oliver.I… I don’t—” Aurelia shook her head and closed her eyes, wishing for the words to express what she was feeling—wishing she could put her finger on what, exactly, she was feeling for that matter.
He stepped back, a crease between his eyebrows as his eyes traveled her face, trying to figure out what had happened.
“You said you weren’t interested in me,” she mumbled.
“I never said that,” he said decisively.
“You did—when you came by the shop after our date.”
“No, I said I was sorry for surprising you.And then you said you weren’t ready to date just then.”
“But I thought…” she began before trailing off.She’d been reminding herself of that conversation for months—did she really have it wrong all this time?
“Anyway, that was ages ago, Aurelia,” he reminded her, smiling.“We’d only just met.I’ve seen you almost every day these past few months.”He paused.“You remember telling me that I was dedicated?”He took a step nearer, tentatively reaching out to run his thumb over her cheek as he added, “Did you really think I only cared about your book?”
Aurelia frowned as she tried and failed to reconcile this new information with what she’d been telling herself over and over for so long.And hehadjust kissed her—you don’t kiss someone you don’t like.But then again, hadn’t he done just that on their first date?
“I did—no, I… I don’t know.I’ve been so focused on getting through the book,” she tried to explain.“I haven’t really thought about… us.”
She knew the lie was obvious as soon as it escaped her mouth and was about to continue trying to cover up the fib, but he held up a hand to stop her from explaining.She reached for his arm, momentarily dazed by her ability to grasp it in her hand after so much time spent with characters she couldn’t touch.
“It’s alright,” he said.“I’m sorry for thinking—”
“No, don’t say that,” she said quickly as he backed away from her again, her arm dropping as he stepped out of her reach.
“It’s fine,” he said.“You’ve got your book and your shop.That doesn’t leave much time for anything else.”
It was Aurelia’s turn to feel hurt.The echoes of conversations with David and Marmee made her feel all the more bruised.
“It’s not just that.It’s a lot of things.I guess I’m just… too much of everything right now.”
“You seem just right to me,” he said quietly.
“No, it might seem like that, but I’m not.”Why was he trying to confuse her?“I’m sorry,” she added miserably, shaking her head as if that could order her thoughts.
Oliver nodded slowly and she felt like something had shifted between them.
“I’ll bring the final chapter by on Monday, okay?I’ve made all your edits this time, so you’ll be very pleased.”
Her forced, cheery tone was grating even to her own ears, but he made an effort to smile and she was grateful for it.
“Thank you for a fantastic celebration,” she added.“My feet are killing me, and I’m stuffed, but it was perfect.”
Oliver looked desperate to leave.She took out her keys, wanting to hurry inside to give him an opportunity to escape.
“I’ll be expecting a Michelin-star meal when the book is published—you’ve spoiled me completely,” she added as she opened the door.
“Well, it’s quite an accomplishment.You should be very proud, Aurelia.Goodnight.”
She watched him walk away as she stood in the doorway, and of all their goodbyes, it was the first time he didn’t turn around.
“He didn’t wave,” she said under her breath, feeling all too keenly that she might have just made a very big mistake.
As his outline faded into the distance, she remembered that it was now past midnight and the shop behind her was empty.
55
ItwasSunday,leavingAurelia with an entire day to play over her bungled night out with Oliver.She was more convinced than ever that she’d done the wrong thing but wasn’t sure how to fix it now that they were so very far off course.Did he really like her now?And, if he did, was she ready for all that would mean?
