I stop and meet her eyes. “Coming back here and talking to him was good. It was healthy, and we’re at a point where we can both join you and Ben for important occasions. It would have been worth it for that. But that’s it.”
She watches me closely.
“What?” I say, when the scrutiny makes me feel twitchy.
“I don’t believe you. Other people might, but I don’t. And if I don’t, I know you don’t.”
“You don’t believe I’m going to pack up and go back to my life in New York? Watch me.”
“I don’t believe you’re over him. I would think if the last nine years taught you anything, it’s that you don’t heal what you don’t confront. It’ll keep getting in your way.”
“But Ididconfront it. I told him how it made me feel. We got a chance to reconnect in a more positive way.” My stomach flips remembering the kiss last night on the dock.
Natalie snorts.
“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas for a reason. Ditto Camp Oak Crest,” I say.
“Right, except the last time something happened with you two at Oak Crest, it followed you for years. I’m telling you, that’s what’s going to happen now.”
“It’s not. I got closure.”
“How does Sawyer feel about it?”
I ignore her in favor of doing a final sweep of the bedroom to make sure I haven’t left anything behind.
“Tabitha?” Her voice is calm but insistent.
“Why do I think you already know the answer?” I call back to her.
“Because I do. Come talk to me about it.”
I walk back out of the bedroom. “Nat, come on. You can’t talk someone into being in a relationship.”
“Of course not,” she says. “Not if both people aren’t feeling it. But youare.”
“You’re not supposed to tell me how I feel, therapist.”
“I’m notyourtherapist, so I can call you on stuff if I want. I’m calling you on it right now. You’re seriously ready to walk away from Sawyer, go back to New York, and throw yourself into your work, and you don’t see any problem with that?”
“I do not.” I give the final T extra force, the sharp snap of a fresh bell pepper.
“Really,” she drawls. “You don’t think every date you try to go on will fall short to the what-if of you and Sawyer like they have for nine years?”
I grab my suitcase, sling my purse over my arm, and head for the door. “Maybe at first, but it will be fine. How committed are you to keeping me here and changing my mind? Are you going to drive me to the airport, or do I need to bribe a counselor?”
“Ugh. I’ll take you. But mark this down as the day your best friend tried her hardest to change your mind.”
“Noted. Let’s go.” I swing open the door to discover Sawyer there, about to knock, his eyebrows raised in surprise at my sudden appearance. “Hey.”
“Hey.” His eyes drop to my suitcase. “Ben asked me if I’d take your luggage up to the car on the ATV so I’d have an excuse to ask if you’ve got five minutes.”
“She does.” Natalie closes the door behind me and bumps me onto the porch.
I roll my eyes. “Not even as subtle as Ben’s Truth or Dare.”
He gives me a tired smile, but he still looks so good. He’s in gray shorts and a teal polo, his sunglasses tucked into the neck, worn Vans on his feet. He takes a deep breath. “I know this week didn’t end the way I hoped it would, but it’s major progress that we can hang out now.”
“True. I was running out of creative excuses for why I can’t be at a Ben and Natalie thing when it’s your turn. I’ll be seeing you over many awkward juice boxes.”
