His eyes move back and forth over my face, confused. “That’s not a small thing, Tab.”
“I know. It’s a great thing. Itwasa great thing. But your instincts told you then that it wasn’t going to be a thing past camp. You knew. I get it now too. If I had taken you to Creekville yesterday, shown you my dad’s shop, gotten you my favorite pastry, walked you through town showing you where I came from, you’d start to see.”
“See what? Why I’m so into you? What made you so you?”
“Sawyer, no.” I draw back, putting space between us. “You’d see that the magic fades.” I can feel as surely as I know what a dish needs to make it right that if we try to take this outside of Oak Crest, I will fall for Sawyer even more. But we won’t work.
We live eight hundred miles apart. We have demanding careers. I’m never going to fit with his upper-class family, and he can’t fathom mine or my small-town upbringing. But I’ll still fall for him, and wewillfall apart. When that happens, I’ll lose a bigger piece of myself than I did the first time.
Yes, we have history. Yes, we have chemistry. And yes. There’s magic.
But magic always exacts a price. And this is too high.
“Tomorrow morning, I fly back to New York. Real life begins.”
“And I’m not part of it.”
“Sawyer—”
He shakes his head. “No, don’t. You’re scared, Tabitha. But I never want you to feel like I don’t respect what you want. I wish this week would have ended differently, but I’m glad you played along.”
“I’m serious, Sawyer. It’s the best gift anyone has ever given me.”
He nods, accepting the thanks. “I’ll walk you back to your cabin. One last quiet forest stroll for old times’ sake?”
“I’d love that.”
We stay quiet on the trail to the cottage. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but all I can focus on is the prickling of my lips from his kisses and wishing I could be selfish enough to ask for one more.
At the cottage, he stops on the next to last step while I unlock the door. I turn to face him, searching for a parting thought. “Sawyer—”
“Tab.” Another headshake as he goes down the stairs. He stops at the bottom. “One last thing. If first loves end and don’t survive outside of bubbles, why are Ben and Natalie married with a kid?”
I open my mouth, but I have no answer.
“Yeah. All right. See you around.”
And then he walks away.
Chapter 24
“Yousurethisiswhat you want to do?” Natalie asks as I fold my black dress neatly in half and make it the last layer on my suitcase.
“I’ve got to get back,” I said. “I’ve got work.”
“Don’t you have a three-month filming hiatus?”
I look up from zipping my bag. “Yes, Miss Pays-Too-Close-of-Attention. But I have to use this time to work on my next cookbook so I’m not trying to cram it in around my filming schedule. And I need to figure out what I want to cook next season and start locking down pre-production stuff.”
“And also run away from Sawyer. That’s a bonus, right?”
I sigh. “I’m not running away.”
“No? You know I’m literally a relationship expert, right? I see someone who is attuned to Sawyer, who isveryattuned to you. I see chemistry and comfort, and a whole lot of curiosity on your face. You know who else had and has that? Ben and I.”
“Natalie. Come on.” I turn from my suitcase and rummage through my handbag to make sure my ID and wallet are there. “I’m not going to try to make a relationship work with my summertime crush from when I was twenty.”
“But do you say ‘I love you’ to a crush?”
