‘I just want to say one thing. I know the circumstances in which you met each other are hardly... ideal.’
‘That’s one word for it,’ Kit scoffs.
‘But I see the way you look at each other. You obviously care about one another. Kit, don’t let Haf take the fall for helping me be a coward.’
And with that, he walks upstairs, followed by the dogs.
The silence he leaves behind hangs heavy over them.
And now that he’s got up from the couch, Haf is distinctly aware that it’s just the two of them. There’s still a space where he was, which may as well be a gulf, but she could just reach out and touch Kit, if she was brave enough.
‘He’s a good guy,’ says Haf.
‘He is. He just has a lot of growing up to do.’
‘Me too.’
Kit says nothing, but that’s a response in and of itself. Shedoeshave a lot of growing up to do.
At least they’ve cleared one thing up. It’s just... all the rest.
Now or never, she thinks.
‘Kit—’
‘No,’ Kit says, looking down at the empty tumbler that she palms. ‘I’m still... processing. All of this.’
For a moment, when Christopher left and apparently gave them his blessing, Haf had hoped the slate was wiped clean. Perhaps they’d reconcile? Kit would say nothing matters, and then they would kiss! It’s silly, she realises. That’s not what Kit would do, and it’s not like this is a simple situation.
‘Oh don’t pull that face,’ Kit groans, looking out the corner of her eye.
‘What face?’ Haf cries. ‘I’m not making a face.’
‘You look like a puppy that’s just been kicked.’
‘Why do you know what that looks like?’
‘Figuratively.’ Kit sighs, annoyed. ‘Look, Christopher is my brother, my family. If I don’t try to sort him out, he’s going to blunder through life, fake dating away his problems, the big man-child.’
And now she turns to Haf, with a deep look of regret.
‘And you? I hardly know you. And I always said I’d never be with someone who lied to me. I’ve had way too much of people cushioning the truth or avoiding what they mean so they don’t “upset me and make me ill”.’ She uses air quotes, and Haf realises this is something someone has actually said to her. ‘That matters to me. I understand that you were doing it for him, not out of maliciousness...’
‘But?’ Haf adds for her, and Kit smiles sadly.
‘I have to work out if that’s a deal-breaker for me, on top of everything else.’
A small hope flutters in her chest, like a moth in the dying of the light. Considering if this is a deal-breaker means Kit is thinking about whether there’s a future for them. All she can do is wait.
Together, they watch the fire and finish their drinks. As the embers burn down, Kit’s head lolls and Haf realises she’s falling asleep. She takes the tumbler from her hand.
‘Kit?’ she calls in the voice you’d use for a sleepy child.
‘I’m just napping. I’ll wait here for Mum and Dad and then brave the stairs,’ she mumbles, her voice muffled with sleep.
‘Okay,’ says Haf, taking a woollen blanket from the armchair and tucking it around Kit.
The grandfather clock in the dining room strikes twelve, and Haf wonders if either Calloway sibling made their Christmas wish in time.
