“Uh-huh.” I nod. He mentioned it to Matt and me several weeks ago.
“I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for certain, but…” He clears his throat and forces himself to look at me. “I’m leaving for Phoenix next week to tour the campus and talk to the dean.”
Dumbstruck, I gape at him. The longer I stare, the heavier the weight in my stomach feels.
“What do you mean?” I ask hoarsely.
“The tenured philosophy professor thought he’d teach one more year, but he’s had health issues, so they need to fill his spot quickly.”
I set my mug on the table and stand slowly. Holding Dad’s gaze, I back away, only stopping when I bump into the fridge. “You can’t do this to me.”
“Mia…”
“You told me they reached out to you. That’s it.” The tears are back, flowing faster than ever. “Why are you doing this?”
I hide my face in my hands, my whole body shuddering. His chair scrapes over the tile, and then he’s striding across the room and clutching me to him, his chin resting on the top of my head.
“Shh, sweetie, don’t cry. At first, we were just talking, discussing the possibility, but the offer came out of the blue a couple days ago. It’s not set in stone. I wanted to wait until I had definitive answers before I told you. Maybe I’ll hate the campus; maybe I won’t like the people I work with.” He sighs, his body curling around mine protectively. “I feel awful for making you cry.”
“What am I going to do here without you?”
I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. I’ve always preferred to spend time with him over my mom. He understands me, and he’s always shown me just how much he loves me, no matter what. I’ve always had to earn my mom’s love, and she’s always been quick to take it away when I don’t do exactly what she wants. Dad loves me unconditionally, but her love comes with rules and restrictions.
I already see him less than I’d like to, and if he moves to Phoenix? My heart pinches so violently, I worry it’s completely cracked in two.
“You’ll visit, and I will too.”
“It won’t be the same.” I sniffle.
“I know, sweetie, but you won’t be alone. You’ll have Matt, your mom, Chiara. And Allan and Dominic too. They’ll all be here for you.”
I rear back, searching his face. “Butyouwill be alone.”
“Unfortunately.” He ruffles my hair, giving me a half-hearted smile. “But that’s okay. You don’t need to worry about me. I promise.”
One thought overtakes me, and the need to voice it burns the tip of my tongue. But I’m afraid to ask, worried I won’t get the answer I want. I swallow the bile clogging my throat and pull my shoulders back, determined to go for it anyway.
“Can I go with you?”
Dad blinks then blinks again. “Mia, I don’t think?—”
“I don’t want you to be all alone,” I say. “I can go to school in Phoenix. It’s not a big deal.”
“I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this, because they were going to surprise you all at dinner, but Allan and your mom bought a new house. It’s really big, and it has a pool. And…”
The more he talks, the lower my heart sinks. Eventually, his words stop registering. I don’t want any of this. I don’t want a new house. I don’t want a new family. I don’t want him to leave.
I want my old life back.
“You’ll all have your own rooms. You, Matt, and Dominic.”
That comment sinks in, and my chest tightens, as if all the oxygen has been sucked from the room.Dominic. I’ll be living under the same roof as Dominic fucking Watson.
The guy I’ve been crushing on since I was eleven, for fuck’s sake.
“Dad.” I clear my throat, interrupting his ramblings. “I’ll let it go, but only if you promise one thing. If I ask to come with you again, in the future, you’ll let me.”
“In the future?”
