“You always told Matt and me to respect other people, to take their feelings into consideration. What they did to you? That’s not what good people do.”
“Baby, you don’t know all the details of our history. Your mom and I fell in love when we were still in college, and we got married shortly after we graduated. Matt was born, then you, and for a while, we were really happy. But with every year, it became clearer and clearer that…we were going through the motions. We don’t share any common interests; we wanted different things out of life. We fell into a routine, and for a long time, we fooled ourselves into thinking we were happy.”
“But…”
He lifts his hand. “Please let me finish, okay?”
I snap my mouth shut and nod.
“Two and a half years ago, I got an offer from a college in Chicago. The pay would’ve been great. They promised to line up housing and help get you and Matt enrolled in school. It sounded perfect to me…but your mom said no.”
I suck in a breath. “What? Why?”
“Because she loves her life here, and I can’t blame her.” He shrugs. “I always wanted to travel, to see more of the world. I’ve always been hungry for new knowledge and new experiences, but she’s never felt the same. You have no idea how many arguments your mom and I had because of our trips to Tahoe.”
“I thought you loved Tahoe…” I frown down at my cocoa.
“I do, sweetie, but going there year after year? For a person who dreams about visiting new places, discovering new countries, it gets old.” He smiles sadly. “And each year, our arguments got worse. We’d go days without speaking unless you and Matt were around.” He sips his coffee, his focus fixed on me.“We tried to work through our issues. We even went to marriage counseling, but it felt like using a ventilator on a person who’s been dead for years. Having to turn down that job offer was the last straw. I couldn’t do it any longer, so I asked for a divorce.”
My heart stops. “You?”
He nods. “Yeah, and she didn’t put up a fight. By that point, we both knew it was inevitable. We just weren’t sure who’d be the one to take that step. In the end, it was me.”
Tears stream down my face. My vision is so blurry, I can’t make out his expression. I had no idea.
“Sweetie, please don’t cry.” He angles forward and wipes away my tears with his thumbs. “It was for the best. Kids need to see their parents happy, and we weren’t.”
“But what about her and Allan? How could your best friend do this to you?”
He drags a hand down his face. “Your mom and Allan have been friends their whole lives. Did you know that? They even dated in high school.”
“What?”
Lips pressed together, he nods. “I never really asked about it. I didn’t want to know. What I do know is that after they broke up, they remained friends. They went to different colleges, where Allan met Liz and where your mom met me. When we all settled here in Monterey, we fell into a comfortable friendship pretty quickly.” Dad licks his lips. “I admit, I was a bit salty when they came to me—long after our divorce was final—and told me they were dating, but all I wanted was for your mom to be happy. And Allan makesher happy. They’re good for each other.”
My whole body deflates, my anger dissipating. “Maybe he does.”
“He loves you and Matt, and that means a lot to me. If there’s anyone in this world who can take good care of my kids when I’m not there, it’s Allan.” Dad takes a sip of his coffee, watchingme. “I don’t hold any grudges, and I’m happy for them. I swear, sweetie. You don’t need to feel sad or offended on my behalf.”
I take a sip of my lukewarm hot chocolate and sniffle. “I’m the worst person on Earth.”
A sad smile plays on his lips. “You definitely weren’t kind tonight, but part of the blame lies with me and your mom. We should’ve sat you down and explained everything from the very beginning.”
“I…I’ll apologize to Mom and Allan.” I lower my head, blinking back tears.
He nods. “I know I can trust you to make things right, but don’t get your hopes up about the being grounded thing. Your mom never backtracks once she’s doled out consequences.”
I divert my attention to my nails, cursing the tears that still blur my vision. “Yeah, luck is definitely not on my side. So much for playing Alice.”
“That sucks.” He cups my hand on top of the table. “But take it as a lesson, and try not to make that mistake again.”
I meet his gaze, my lips trembling. “Could you talk to Mom? Please? Try to convince her to at least let me try out? This is important to me.”
He scratches his face, his eyes darting away.
Dread pools in my stomach. “Is something wrong?”
“Remember I told you about my job interview? That college in Phoenix?”
