“Don’t we deserve an answer?” I asked, my heart shattering at the woman standing in front of me.
She was beautiful. Even dressed in a faded pair of Garfield pajamas, her hair tied back in a messy bun, and her eyes red and puffy, she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever met. Her curves seemed accentuated, her breasts bigger and her belly more rounded. I fucking loved every inch of her. I lovedher.
“I thought everything was going well, but in the past few days, it’s like you’re a different person. What’s changed? What can we do to fix things?” Rusty asked.
“This was never real,” she bellowed. “Stop pretending it is.” Carina circled her pointed finger around to include all of us. “It was always temporary. Twelve months.”
“And it hasn’t been half that,” Rusty countered, his chin raised defiantly but his voice deadly calm, almost detached.
My heart pounded, my chest tightening as I watched him, looking for the telltale signs that he was struggling. But he was rock steady.
“So what?” she snapped and threw her hands up in the air. “So I fucked up. I’m fixing it.”
“You promised,” I stated quietly.
Her eyes flashed, and she balled her hands into fists. Her lips flattened into a straight line and her nostrils flared. “The contract, of course,” she spat, her words like a slap across the face.
That’s not what I’d meant at all, but before I could get any words out, Zeus yipped in warning.
“Zeus, enough,” I chastised without taking my eyes off Carina.
She was a goddess in her anger, filled with passion and the ability to shatter my heart. She reminded me of Galadriel, the white witch inThe Lord of the Ringswho seemed to glow when she unleashed a fraction of the power she was capable of.
Tears filled her eyes, and when she spoke, her voice was broken. But she raised her chin and hissed defiantly, “I need to work. I need to start supporting myself. I have to figure out my future.” She pointed to me. “I can’t keep relying on you.”
Never mind a slap, it was as if she’d taken a cleaver to my chest cavity and carved out my heart with one fell swoop.
“When do you leave?” Travis asked, his grip on my waist tight enough to leave bruises.
“Tomorrow. I’ve found a flight home that has seats available.”
“You aren’t even going to spend time with Cara?” I accused, dumbfounded. “Why so urgent? Why now?” I raised my palms in question, and she sneered.
“It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head.
I wanted to reach for her, take her into my arms and brush away the tears falling steadily down her face. But I didn’t dare.
“What the fuck does that mean?” I demanded. “Your daughter has just flown halfway around the world. You haven’t seen her in months. You’ve been as excited as Hux to see her, and now you’re leaving? How doesn’t that matter? She’s going to be devastated.”
She exploded again, her voice so loud that even the birds outside quieted. “Don’t you dare tell me how to be a mother. Everything I’m doing is because I’m a mother. Every sacrifice, every tear, every heartbreak is because I’m. A. Mother.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I hadn’t meant to criticize her parenting, but that’s exactly what I’d done.
“Don’t worry, I won’t ask for a single thing from you. Not a cent. I’ll keep my end of the bargain too. I’ll never tell a soul that you’re together, and I won’t say anything bad about any of you. You’ll never see a tell-all interview or even see my face on social media.”
I shook my head and swallowed past the lump in my throat. I didn’t want things to end like this. I didn’t want things to end period. Fuck the agreement. Fuck the pre-signed divorce papers. Fuck Michael and his fucking insistence on the damn thing. I should have said no. I should have demanded we do it my way. I never should have allowed him to reduce what I felt for this woman into a few clauses on paper. I needed to tell her. I needed to beg her to stay. But Carina wasn’t finished.
“Getting married was a mistake. It was a stupid drunken mistake. I regret every second of that night. I regret every minute of every day since. I never should have allowed it to go this far.” She exhaled, pulled her shoulders back, and lifted her chin.
Her words made me feel like I’d been thrown into a woodchipper. They minced me into a million pieces.
“I’m sorry I caused trouble for you with the team, Jacques. I hope you get your contract renewal even without me here. I’m sorry that you fought with your parents because of me too. At least now they’ll be happy we’re over.” She pressed her lips together and sucked in a wobbly breath. Then she wiped her face and continued, “You’ll be glad I’m out of your hair. I know we were always casual, but I need to do this for me. For us. I love you all, but I need to let you go. I can’t stay. Not when it’ll ruin everything.”
What the hell was she talking about? This was never casual. It was never just the sex. It was the real deal for me, and I was pretty sure Travis felt the same. Hell, Rusty too. Had we just been hookups to her? Had she been here for the sex, and now that she’d had her fill, she was done? I couldn’t believe that. Carina wasn’t that kind of person. She loved hard. There was no way she didn’t feel anything for us. She wouldn’t be so worried about Travis every time he went to work. She wouldn’t have gone to church with Rusty every weekend just to be there. She wouldn’t have watched out for him, keeping him company in the shed or inside when he was overwhelmed with the team coming over. I wouldn’t have caught her smiling at me when she thought I wasn’t looking, and she wouldn’t have gazed at me with so much emotion that my breath would catch when I was moving inside her.
Carina turned and walked away, not letting us get a word in. I’d wasted my time questioning her. I should have been persuading her to stay. Begging her.
Travis’s phone rang, the emergency tone he’d allocated to the station shattering the silence left in Carina’s wake.
