He knocked his shoulder gently into mine, and I looked up at him.
He gave me a small smile and kicked his feet, swirling the water around us. “Truthfully, I’ve never felt like I’m enough for them. Travis has always been such a force of nature. He reminds me of a wild stallion. Women fall at his feet—”
“Do you blame them?”
He chuckled. “Not in the slightest. Jacques too. He could hook up with a new woman every night if he wanted. He’s like a lake—deep and calm. They balance each other out. Then there’s me, an introverted, overly anxious guy who hates peopling, yet is in a relationship with two of the most personable people you’ve ever met.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you second-guess your place with them.”
“Like I said before, there’s nothing to apologize for. They didn’t lie to you because they wanted to hurt you. They aren’t your ex—” He held his hands up in a defensive gesture when I snapped my gaze up to meet his. "—I don’t know anything other than that he cheated on you. I’m sorry you went through that.”
“Me too.”
“But it’s brought you here, so it’s not all bad.”
“Why do you want me here?” I asked, unable to fathom why he was even talking to me, never mind encouraging me to stay.
He shrugged as if it were no big deal. “I want them happy. Jacques has worked his whole life to play hockey. If he lost that, he’d be devastated.”
Ah, his career, of course.
He added, almost as if it were an afterthought, “And because I see something different in them with you than with their other hookups.”
“Do they bring other hookups around often?”
He laughed. “No, never. But there are times when I have to be seen in public, and they’re with dates. It’s perfunctory for them. Most of the time, they’re doing what is necessary to shield us from media attention. Whenever we speak about whether they enjoyed the hookup, they never rave about them. They certainly never blush, and I’ve seen both Jacques and Travis do that since they’ve been back.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed quiet.
But Lincoln wasn’t finished speaking anyway. “They like you, Carina, and I think we could be friends. Would it be so bad if you stuck around for a while?”
“What choice do I have?”
“Jacques would sooner walk away from his career than hurt someone he cares about, and he cares about you. He has done for years.”
My eyes widened and a grin slowly formed on his lips.
“He didn’t fess up, did he?” Lincoln laughed and whispered conspiratorially, “You were his teenage crush. He’s wanted you for as long as he knew what lust was, and Travis is smitten with you too. You’re exactly his type—strong, feisty, vulnerable, gorgeous.”
“He… he told me,” I stuttered. Jacques had told me that, but I hadn’t really believed him. Not after he’d dashed out of the room after fucking me up against the bathroom counter and bundled us onto the next plane out of Vegas. “I don’t want to ruin things for him, but I also don’t want either one of us to be uncomfortable.”
“So stay, and we’ll play things by ear. You and I can talk whenever either of us feels like we need to.” He paused and cleared his throat, then added, “I don’t have sex with other people, but I do have sex with them. Do you think you can handle it knowing that we might be together?”
I swallowed, and desire hit me hot and hard. The thought of the three of them naked and touching one another was mind-bendingly sexy. “Will they touch each other with me there? Will you be with them while I’m in the room?” My voice was breathy, and I hated how it betrayed the secret I was suddenly struggling to keep.
“If that’s what you want, I’m sure Jacques and Trav would be happy to oblige.” He shifted, leaning forward to brace his elbows on his knees. He gazed into the water, never stopping the movement of his feet. “As for me, let’s see how things go.”
“Okay.” We sat like that for a few minutes, the quiet enveloping us. Then I voiced the question that had been bugging me since Jacques admitted his parents didn’t know about them. “Do you agree with Jacques not telling Sophia and Pierre about the three of you?”
“No,” he said carefully. “But it’s not my sole decision to make. I got overruled, so I’ll respect that decision until Travis and Jacques change their minds.”
“Does it hurt to be kept a secret?” It was too personal a question to ask, but I needed to know. I didn’t want to be twisting the knife in his heart every time I got to be seen in public with Jacques and he couldn’t.
“I hate it,” he whispered. “It eats away at me like I’ve swallowed acid. But I love them.” He shrugged. “I knew what I was getting myself into after the first night we were together. Jacques asked how he could keep both of us a secret. I knew we could never be open. Not while Jacques was in the public eye.”
My heart shattered, breaking into a million tiny pieces. Jacques wouldn’t necessarily be out of the public eye at the end of his hockey career either. If he moved into the media, he’d have years of being in front of the camera.
“Sophia and Pierre would understand, you know? They’d support you without question.”
