I hadn’t even realized I’d let go of Lincoln’s hands until he took mine in his again. Lincoln explained, “As a public person, Jacques needs to maintain the façade that he’s single. He needs to be able to… date women. Both he and Travis have always done it, and I’m okay with it. It was what we agreed right from the start. They’re free to have sex with other people. They don’t sleep with men other than me, but they do occasionally have sex with women.”
“What?” I asked, angry and confused. But my anger and confusion had been turned on its head. How could they treat him so badly? “Why can’t you sleep with anyone else? Why is it one-sided?”
He smiled and reached under the coffee table for a box of tissues, then held it out for me. I took one and wiped my nose as he looked down at his lap. When his gaze met mine, it was warm—the complete opposite of what I’d expected. He was throwing me for a loop.
“You’re unexpected,” he said with a smile. “I can see why Jacques and Travis are so infatuated with you.” He chuckled and shook his head as if he was surprised by my outburst or perhaps by his admission.
“To answer your question, I’m demisexual. I don’t experience sexual attraction without having an emotional connection with a person first. I can sleep with other people, but it doesn’t interest me.” He shrugged. “If I ever experienced that attraction again, I know Jacques and Travis would encourage me to explore it too.”
“Oh.”
He took my hands again and squeezed my fingers. “I’ll be honest with you, I’m fine with them having sex with other people—they always come home to me. But when I heard you two were married, I was hurt.”
He looked at Jacques, and I couldn’t help following his gaze. Travis and he were holding hands, squeezing so tight their knuckles were white.
“I thought I was going to lose Jacques to you. But Jacques and I have spoken, and I feel secure again in our relationship.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, completely dumbfounded by the calm this man was exuding. I didn’t understand how he was okay with this, but it was his relationship. I suppose I didn’t need to understand it.
Jacques kneeled before me, and I flinched.
“I’m sorry. I should have been upfront. I should have told you that the three of us were together. I didn’t because we’ve never told anyone before. There’s only a handful of people on this earth who know we’re in a relationship.”
Sophia’s shouted accusation about Jacques never being in love played on a loop in my head. “Your parents don’t know.”
He shook his head. “No. They don’t.” He looked to Trav, who nodded, then back at me. “Travis hasn’t wanted to tell them, and we respected his wishes. But I’m the reason we’re not out, not Travis or Rusty. I keep my sexuality hidden because I don’t want to be the latest headline. I just want to play hockey.”
I nodded. I understood what he was saying. There was a footballer back home who’d been outed, and it wasn’t pretty. Then another one on the same team had come out in support. They’d been through a lot since. Every time they were in a slump, questions about their performance were related back to their sexuality. Whenever they were playing well, there were questions about which referee they were sleeping with.
“Okay, so you didn’t tell me because you don’t tell anyone. I get that, but I’m still the other woman. No one—especially not Lincoln—wants me to hang around here. You shouldn’t have invited me here.” My voice wobbled, and visions of my ex fucking his way around the house with his new girlfriend popped unbidden into my mind.
I squeezed my eyes closed and fought back the tears. “Drop me back at the airport. I’ll let you know where to send the divorce papers to.”
“No,” Trav said. He stepped closer and fell to his knees next to Jacques. “I don’t want you to go.”
I shook my head. “I can’t stay.”
“You can,” Lincoln said. “That’s what we’re trying to tell you.”
Jacques slid his hand around my calf and shuffled closer. He rested his forehead on my knees for a moment before pressing a kiss there and looking up at me. “I want you to stay too. Please,” he begged.
“What was the conversation with your agent about?” I asked, suddenly remembering his comment that he wanted to talk to me.
He exhaled. He closed his eyes and hung his head low. Then he met my gaze and spoke again, his voice quiet but as strong as steel. “What I want and what my agent wants to achieve are somewhat the same, but we have very different motivations. I want you to stay because I want to date you. I think Travis might too. I want you here as part of us.”
My breath hitched. I’d wanted that too. But now I didn’t know. “So why aren’t you telling me what your agent wants?”
He sighed, and when he spoke again, his voice was resigned. Robotic even. “To minimize negative fallout with the team and the possibility of my contract not being renewed at the end of this season, he wants us to stay married for a year. He’s preparing paperwork for us to sign that will give you an agreed sum as payment for you playing my happily married wife for the year. There will be a confidentiality clause too. He suggested that once I have my renewal and the year is up, we can quietly get a divorce.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. A sick feeling, like an oil slick welling up inside me, turned my stomach. This was my prenup all over again, but in some respects, it was completely different. Either way, I couldn’t even fathom getting paid to stay with him.
“If that’s what you want to do, Carina, I’ll pay you whatever you want. You can stay in the guest cottage the whole time rather than the house. I’ll pay for everything. We don’t even have to see each other except at functions. If you want to leave, I’ll respect that too. I won’t ask you to do something you’re uncomfortable with.” He reached out and touched the ring I was inexplicably still wearing.
“But I really want you to stay—not for those reasons.” He waved his other hand as if dismissing them. “But because what I feel for you in here”—he thumped his chest—“is more than a one-night stand. It was a stupid move on all our parts to get married, but I don’t regret it. How could I when it’s you?”
“I was serious too,” Trav said. “I want something more with you as well. Stay. Please.”
I exhaled and stood up, stepping away from the three men surrounding me. “I need some time. This is a lot. I just… I need some time.”
