"Brotherhood." Scarlett's answer comes immediately. "Family. Taking that brand represents leaving my past behind me and choosing a different kind of life. I went into the jungle to rescue the man I never stopped loving. I found him, and in the process I found way more than I bargained for. I found something worth fighting for. I was given US citizenship for my service. That's great. But I didn't join out of patriotism—I'm not American. Or…well, I don't know. Maybe I am, now. I don't know. The point is, I didn't spend all those years fighting and killing for some noble cause or for a flag or whatever. It was a job, and one I just sort of…ended up in. It turned out I was good at it, and that was that. But these past few weeks, or however fucking long it's been since I got that email…I’ve…I have a cause: you all. I've fought beside each of you, and I’d do it all again. But I really,reallyhope I don't have to. Because if I'm being honestwith you guys and with myself, what I really want is to put my rifle down and never pick it up again."
Sophia nods at her words. "Then you will receive the brand. I must warn you, though—I don't know what's next for The Broken Arrows. Jakob has hinted at changes to come. I have no idea what that means. The brotherhood will never change, however, Idoknow that.” She glances at Annika. "What I mean is that I don't know what's next—long-term, at least. I think for now we head back to Vegas and assess the situation. The Club is our home. So…we fix it."
"Wait, wait, wait." Kane frowns at Sophia. "Youlive in the Club?"
She blinks at him. "Of course. Where else would I live?"
He shrugs. "Hell if I know. Until recently, I thought you were…I dunno. An outside employee the boss put in charge. His go-between. You never wanted to talk or hang out. You just appeared when you had something to say to us. You showed up for work and vanished when the club closed. I guess I assumed you lived in the city somewhere."
Sophia looks uncomfortable at best, if not downright unhappy. "I was afraid of letting anyone close, Kane. I stayed away because I…I didn't think I could belong. Much like Scarlett, I never have. I wasn't just a kid, I was the daughter and only child of Bruno de Silva. I was his executioner. I was Rafael's wife. I wasLa Víbora. Then I was…your supervisor. An outsider."
Kane absorbs this silently, and then moves to kneel in front of her. "You're not an outsider anymore, Sophia."
She tips her head back, hissing. "My god,enoughalready. I've cried more in the last few days than in my entire life combined."
"Feelings are meant to be felt, Boss-lady," Kane says, his voice low. "It's all good. You're among family."
She shudders. "Family. I don't know what that even means."
Naomi scooches across the bed to sit behind Sophia, arms locking around her middle. "It means you're loved."
Sophia leans her head back against Naomi's. "You started it, you know."
“Started what?" Naomis asks, confused.
"The great thawing out ofLa Reina de Hielo."
"How?"
Sophia shrugs. "When I spoke to you over the phone, I…I suppose I heard something in you. Fear, but a core of unbreakable iron beneath it. You are far kinder and far sweeter than I'll ever be, but I guess I felt a kinship to you."
"You gave me strength to fight when I was terrified," Naomi whispers. "You were calm. You knew exactly what to do." She hugs Sophia tightly. "And you're kinder and sweeter than you give yourself credit for. You just need practice."
Sophia barks a laugh, bitterly sarcastic. "I am a great many things, dear, darling Naomi, but sweet and kind are not among them."
"I disagree," I say, joining the conversation for the first time. "I think Naomi is right. You have shown me recently that youcanbe sweet. Very,verysweet."
Sophia blushes, ducking her head. "Ren, stop. That’s different. Andprivate."
I enter the room, weaving around bodies, until I am in front of her. Kane shifts away to make room for me, settling back in Anjalee's embrace by the window. "Sophia, my love.Meu Amor. Meu coraçao. I don't meanthatkind of sweetness, as sweet as you are in that sense."
"Ren," Sophia protests.
"Hush, my love. Listen." I take her hands, gazing down at her; with my injured hip—which Kane patched up before we left the port—if I went down to a knee, I'd never get back up. "What comes next, no matter what it looks like for you andfor us, will not be easy. I am a soldier. An operator. You are…well, you. Our lives have been extraordinarily unusual. Violence and death are the norm for us. You in particular, darling, have lived with fear and in isolation—emotional if not always physical—your whole life. That doesn't just go away. Even with all of the breakthroughs and such that you’ve had lately, you are not just going to wake up one morning and find yourself Susie Homemaker. I do not say that to mean being a homemaker is a bad thing—it is not. It is a wonderful, beautiful thing with many challenges which not everyone is cut out for. All I mean is that you are not that woman. Youcanbe, if you wish. But to become that kind of woman will take work and time and patience. Even just learning how to be Sophia once more, how to let go of everything Inez is and has had to be—that will be hard. You must be patient with yourself, my love. You must show grace to yourself."
"Susie Homemaker?" Sophia says, barking a sarcastic laugh. "I will settle for simply not being Griselda Blanco."
I pull her to her feet, sighing sadly. "You are not that, my love."
She shakes her head. "I can't just forget who I have been." She stares into my eyes, and then looks around the room, from face to face. "No matter how much I may wish to."
"See, that's where you're gettin' stuck," Chance says. "Thinkin’ you can or should try to forget who you been. I can't forget who I was, Sophia. Iaman addict. I'll alwaysbean addict. I won't ever touch drugs again, but I'll always be the guy dying in a gutter that you rescued. Ican'tforget and won't evertryto forget that guy, Soph. Can I call you that? Soph?"
She smiles at him, wry and dryly amused. "I suppose after all that we've been through together, I can allow a certain degree of familiarity."
Chance continues. "If I were to forget that part of who I am, I could be tempted to think I'm fixed. I'm cured. I could try a hit now and then to calm down, to relax and have fun. No harm, no foul, right? I ain't that dude no more, so what's the problem? Once in a while ain’t a problem. I can control it, this time." He gently eases me aside, and I let him take my place in front of Sophia. "You see the problem with that line of thinkin’, yeah?"
She nods. “Yes, I do. But I am not a drug addict, Chance."
