“Isabel—”
“Nothing is right.”
“Isabel—”
“And there’s so much I—so much I need to say, but I don’t know. So much I need to do, but I don’t know how. I need an identity, Logan. Even just legally. I’m not really a person, legally. And... inside, I’m just—I’m a mess. And I don’t know how to fix it. I love being here, with you. Living with you. Sleeping beside you. Eating with you. But tonight—it was... I don’t know.”
“Listen, Isabel—”
“I feel like there’s so much in the way between us. Caleb is between us. My weakness, where he’s concerned. What happened. The fact that he shot you. Almost killed you. Cost you your eye. That’s my fault. You can say what you like, but that’s how I feel. And that scares me, that there’s so much between us, so much inside me I don’t know how to express, even to myself. I want us. I want you. I want how easy it was, before. I’m afraid I—I’m afraid I ruined things.”
“Goddammit.” This is under his breath.
And then he kisses me. Abruptly, almost violently. He takes my face in his big warm hands, and his lips crash against mine. His tongue steals between my teeth.
Heat suffuses me.
I collapse forward, and my arms wind around his neck. I cling to him. Just touching him, thus, it centers me.
I have to touch him. Feel him. Feelus.
I am pushing at him. At his clothes. At his tuxedo jacket. It softly thuds to the floor in the foyer. His back is to the door; the alarm is beeping. Logan reaches past me, jabs at the green-lit buttons, and the alarm goes quiet. Cocoa is whining, barking.
Nothing matters.
I am obsessed. I need him. I need his skin. I need to know thatthis, the physical, mental, emotional connection that bindsus, I need to know it still exists. And right now, the only way I know how to find that is by touching him. Filling myself with his body, his scent, his heat, his hardness. To feel him. To know. To relearn him.
I have his tie untied. Tossed away. Tear at the buttons. I hear one pop and clatter on the floor.
“Whoa, Isabel, honey, slow down a second—”
I kiss him silent. Shove the shirt off his shoulders, and he fumbles with the cuff links, shoves them in his trousers pocket. I have his belt gone now, the buckle jingling onto the floor at my feet. The double clasp and button closure of his trousers, the zipper. He kicks off his shoes and he lifts his feet free, and now, finally, God finally I have him bare, naked in my hands. His abs, his broad back, his hard round ass, the hot rigidity of his cock. I caress him all over, just touching him. Lean in, and kiss him. His shoulders. His throat. His tattoos. His scars. Fondle his erection, grasp him. Stroke him.
Logan gently but firmly pushes me back, stares at me, confused. “Isabel, babe. What’s going on?”
“I need you.”
I don’t think, don’t hesitate. Unzip my dress and step out of it, nude now except for my heels, earrings, and necklace. A moment, as he stares at me. Nipples peaked, core wet. I can smell my own desire.
“Logan, Ineedyou,” I repeat.
“Why do you seem so . . . desperate?”
“I don’t know why, but I am. I’m desperate for you. I need you.”
I reach for him, cling to him. Kiss the shell of his ear. His temple. Tug his hair free of the ponytail and spear my fingers through his blond wavy hair. Drag his mouth to mine. Kiss him with every molecule of my being.
“Is this good-bye, Isabel?”
“No,” I breathe. “Fuckno. It’s—It’s...” I pull back but don’t let go of him, cling to his hair and his cheek. “It’s me saying, ‘Love me,’ Logan. Love me. Please... just love me. Show me. Remind me. I need us. I needus.”
He bends at the knees, grabs the backs of my thighs, and lifts. I wrap my legs around him, lean in and devour his breath. Touch my forehead to his as his back hits the door. We groan in unison as he fills me. He moves to kiss me, but I steal it from him. Take the kiss from him. Bite his lower lip as he impales me, seats deep, sunk to the root. Hips to hips. Mouth to mouth. Heart to heart.
“This is what you need, Is?”
“Yes, God yes.”
He moves. Carries me to the kitchen, sets me on the island, buttocks right at the edge. Grabs my hips, and pulls. Fills me with a thrust. Breathes onto my lips, groans, and kisses me. Pulls back, his one brilliant blue indigo eye on me, staring at me. Letting me see into him, as he always does, when we’re like this. When he’s inside me.
