“I wish I was. They claim a kid at school taught them how to draw dicks, and now they draw dicks on everything. Like, I think they think they’ve invented penis-based humor.”
“Their names are Marco and Isaac?”
She nodded. “Marco is the oldest, and he’s named after Zane’s best friend, who died in combat. Isaac is the younger one, and he’s named after a friend of mine who died when I was a teenager.”
“So Zane really was a Navy SEAL? Like he did secret combat shit?”
She laughed. “Yeah. He’s worked really hard to leave that part of himself in the past, these last few years. Having Marco and Isaac has helped him relax and soften a bit, but…yeah.” She sighed. “He still wakes up with bad dreams sometimes. Usually about the day Marco was killed.”
I shuddered. “I cannot even imagine.”
“Be glad you can’t,” she murmured.
“You too, huh?”
She shrugged. “I saw my share of gnarly shit, but my job was to fix people. His…not so much.” She smiled at me, because while we’d been talking Lena had gotten drowsy and had fallen asleep, her head pillowed on my arm. Even asleep, she was slobbering on me. But god, she was cute as hell. “She likes you.”
I laughed. “She fell asleep on me. Not sure that counts as liking me.”
“You don’t know babies. Lena hates sleeping. She’ll fight falling asleep tooth and claw. So her falling asleep on you is actually a pretty clear sign she feels good with you.”
I felt uncomfortable with that. “Well, that’s makes one of us comfortable with me,” I said.
But the joke fell flat. Mara just gazed steadily at me. “I’m not that much older than you, so don’t take this the wrong way, but…you remind me a lot of myself before Zane.”
I sighed. “Is that right?”
“Closed off, scared shitless of my own emotions. Die-hard hookup artist, zero plans to let anyone in.”
I wanted to retort, but couldn’t think of anything that didn’t sound petulant and defensive. “And then you fell in love with Zane and now you’re a brand-new woman?” Well, shit. So much for not sounding petulant or defensive.
She laughed, though, not insulted at all. “Yeah, in some ways. Mainly because I found something I wanted and I was willing to let go of whatever was standing in the way.”
“Zane’s tender yet manly love?”
She snorted. “Hell no! Regular access to the best dick I’ve ever gotten!” She laughed. “And no, that’s not entirely a joke. I stayed for the sex, and the falling in love was just a terrifying and life-changing side effect.”
I laughed. “Terrifying and life-changing side effect. Sounds about right.”
“I fought it hard, Lexie. Hard as I possibly could, as long as I could.”
“But eventually the love was just too strong to resist?”
She snorted again. “Wrong again. He knocked me up, and that just…broke my resistance to him.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Real life isn’t a Hallmark movie. It’s messy. Hard. You’re faced with scary choices. Mine was to have the baby alone, or to risk being with a man I barely knew, who scared me shitless. Not having the baby wasn’t a choice for me. Nor for him.”
I blinked, swallowed. “So it worked out for you.”
Mara nodded. “Yeah, it did. But it was a hell of a risk. I put my heart on the line, all the way. My whole life. Moved here, to be with a man I’d known a few months at most. Got absorbed into his family, which as an only child of an absent father and a mother I basically walked away from when I joined the Army, was a lot to deal with.”
“And has it been worth it? Worth the risk?”
Her answer was immediate and definitive. “Absolutely.”
Something to think about, at least.
The last dayin Ketchikan I was alone with Mom, Cassie, and Charlie for most of the day—on Myles’s insistence; he got Ram, Lucas, Brock, Ink, and Zane to take him into the deep brush for some boy time in the woods with things that went boom. Most of the day was easygoing—spent getting mani-pedis, lunch, browsing the touristy shops, and light chitchat. It was later in the day, back at Mom’s condo with big glasses of wine, that the conversation took an expected turn.
“So, Lex.” Mom was sitting on her white leather love seat, knees curled under her thighs.
