The men get the better of me, as I’m still unable to fully catch my breath, let alone fight back. They slam my knees into the metal step leading in, forcing me to bend enough for them to push me in.
“Where is she?!” I scream, pounding my entire weight against the door. Despair drowns out everything around me as my body goes limp from exhaustion and melts to the floor of the van. My strength deceives me as I feel myself begin to slip back under.I can’t give up,I beg myself to keep my eyelids open but with every passing moment the weight of them grows. It grows and grows until the world has passed and I’m alone in the darkness of my mind.
Chapter Two
The dim light above me flickers as I listen to the wind outside. I’ve been frozen in place for what feels like hours, too scared to move a single muscle. From what I can tell, I’m on a bed, the material under me feels soft. Each attempt at moving has ended with the same unfortunate ending, flashbacks to a burning church. Images flying through my mind of my home, my house of worship ablaze. My brothers and sisters of God screaming and burning. My eyes well up with tears just at the thought.
The monster took them all,the voice in my head screams at me. It had taken me almost a full two years out of my eight in The Garden to understand that Kameron Lethki was no angel. He was never going to be my savior, as he was only alive to be the demise of those around him.
The idea of leaving this position and having to come to terms with the knowledge that my flashbacks truly did happen isn't something I’m ready for. This room is definitely not like the ones in The Garden, and that also has me locked into place. He was there for me, what if he succeeded.
I swallow harshly, praying for God to help keep me under control, yet to no avail my heart rate picks back up once more. I scrunch my eyes shut, allowing the tears to wander down my cheeks and onto the pillow below me. The light above grows blurry as the liquid clouds my vision.
“God, I’m not strong enough,” I whisper, unexpectedly letting out an uncontrolled sob in the process. My body shakes with terror, realizing how much noise I have made. The fear only becomes worse as I hear the door creak open.
“Lilith?” I’d know that voice anywhere, I’ve heard it in my night terrors for almost a decade now. It has haunted every quiet room I’ve entered, and slipped its way through my thoughts.
Ever so slowly I turn towards the sound of his voice, and there he is. Kameron stands in the doorway, his golden curls longer than I remember. My eyes dart between him and the window tothe left of him. His gaze holds me in place, forcing me to stay put on the bed and not run to glass to find out where I’m being imprisoned.
“Beyond the door at the end of the bed, there’s a bathroom,” he states with uncertainty. It comes out almost as if he’s scared of me, yet how could that be true when he holds me hostage. “If you’d like to freshen up and meet us in the living room…”
He trails off before lowering his head, and I take the opportunity of not having those eyes on me to get a good look at the rest of him. He’s in a clean pair of sweats, but the bandages covering most of his right arm look due for a change. From what I can see of his skin, both of his arms are now adorned with beautiful ink. A mix of skulls, smoke, quotes, and roses dance across his body. He’s astonishing, and I quickly internally curse myself for viewing him as anything other than the abomination he is.
I sit up on the bed, causing intense pain to rush through my body. Every inch of me aches, but thankfully nothing seems broken. My movements cause Kameron to snap out of his trance and look up at me once more. His beautiful blue eyes are clouded with sorrow, but he does his best to mask it and he gives me a small smile and leaves the room.
I let out a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding. The oxygen rushes into my lungs, making me feel a bit dizzy, but I push through and force myself to stand. Only then does it finally hit me that I’m no longer wearing my red dress. Despair consumes me as my mind travels through ideas of what could’ve happened while I was out. I’m unsure of how much time I lost, and I’m even less aware of anything that’s happened since. I stare down at the gray sweatshirt and matching sweatpants with disgust. “Please God, don’t tell me I’ve been touched,” I whisper as I quietly make my way into the bathroom.
The room I enter is small, a toilet, a sink with a small mirror above it, and a stand up shower taking up almost all the square footage. The walls are a light shade of pink, yet orange near the top where the yellow lighting hits it. Simple toiletries such as deodorant, a toothbrush, and a comb lay out next to the sink, none of which look as though they have been used.
I slowly walk up to the mirror, nervous to face my reflection. My worries become true as I lock eyes with myself in the mirror. The world around me collapses as I let out the first shriek. A giant scab runs through my right eyebrow all the way down to the tip of my chin, leaving my features completely altered. Tears overflow from my eyes and rain down onto my chest as I continue to stare at the woman in front of me.
My hands grip the sink with all my strength, turning my knuckles white, as I try to keep my knees from buckling. “This isn’t fair!” I scream out, “I didn’t deserve this!”
“No,” a voice states from behind me. “No you didn’t.”
I look over my shoulder through the mirror to see Kameron standing behind me, Slowly he makes his way behind me as he continues talking. “I never wanted you to get hurt, Lilith.” The ache in his voice feels like a punch in the gut.
“If you didn’t want to hurt me, why did you burn down my church?” I choke out, feeling venomous anger infiltrate my bones.
“I couldn’t leave you with those monsters. You don’t understand, Lilith. You can’t see the flaws from where you are. And I’m sorry I wasn’t able to save you before, but I’m here now.”
Laughter immediately escapes me, “save me?” I begin, “save me from what? God? My fellow Christians?”
I finally spin around to directly face him, only mere inches between us. ”You killed my brother and attempted to kill me. Kameron, you are the monster I need saving from.”
The grief in his eyes turns to rage, almost as if a switch had been flipped. My breath catches as I take in how much power he would have over me. He towers over me with at least a foot in height, and I’ve never been one to work out. Suddenly, I’m no longer feeling strong, but back to the little girl who watched as her father beat her mother, absolutely helpless. I’ve done everything I can to rid myself of her, even opting to take over my mother’s maiden name, yet here she is, making herself known once again.
Grabbing onto my shoulders, he flips me around to once again face the mirror. “Do you see that woman in there?” Kameron starts, his voice shaking with anger. “She didn’t almost escape The Garden, to become someone who points fingers at those who were helping her.”
He glares at me as I take in his words, working up the courage to respond.
“I didn’t need to escape, God’s love made its way back to me while I was there. Elijah and Apollyon have done everything they can to get me back on the right path.” The last words come out so quietly I’m questioning whether or not I actually spoke them.
Kameron’s fist lunges past me and makes contact with the mirror. The image shatters as bits of glass rain down onto the sink, some of the pieces nipping his skin, leaving red droplets to form along the cracks. My fight or flight response kicks in as I watch him with wide eyes in the remnants mirror. I’ve never once come across such raw anger, and the sight of it gives me the most dreadful feeling I’ve ever had to endure.
“They did not fuckingsave you, Little Sinner,” he growls out, never breaking eye contact with my reflection, “they have done nothing but break you down into a meek and fragile little Christian girl.”
My lips part open, but every response I can think of is stolen from me by the fear of what’s to come if I upset the monsterlooking back at me. His chest heaves as he stands behind me, and I watch the way his shirt stretches across his shoulders with each breath.
