“I know. I understand. But please, can we talk?” I ask, gesturing towards the two, where they have snuggled into the couch and are still crying into each other's arms. If I don’t hurry, Lilith will tell them before I have the chance to.
Josiah gives me a curt nod before opening the front door once again. “Babe, we will be right back in,” he calls over to Leah. She turns and nods at him, a smile lifting her cheeks. Their love for each other is evident, and I’m grateful to realize my actions didn’t strip her of a happily ever after. It’s nothing but a small bandage that I don't deserve, but either way I thank the universe for it.
Hours have passed since we first sat down on the wooden chairs lining their porch. The sun has risen, heating the snow that had been resting in the pines. It leaves the smell of the forest stronger than ever. My hands feel as though they're on the urge of frostbite, but if respecting Josiah’s wishes to stay out of his home is my way to Adam, so be it.
“Fucking hell,” he sighs out, “this is a lot to take in.” Josiah leans back in his chair, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before looking over at me. “I can get into their system. I’ve done it multiple times over the years, looking for Lilith.”
He runs a hand down his face, his pain showcased across his facial expression. “After the fifth year of looking, Leah and I assumed we were too late.”
I take in his words, empathizing with them deeply. While I was away from my little sinner, I spent every waking moment worried about her safety. The world became a living nightmare, full of drifting off into my thoughts of her death.I found purgatory in that concrete cell.
“I also have a small stash of weapons we keep on stand by. It helped Leah feel safe after what happened with Jacob.” He winces as the last part, sucker punching me emotionally. “After that though, you’re on your own. I won’t put myself or Leah in danger, especially with Jonas in the picture.”
“Absolutely,” I respond with certainty. I’ve performed some of the most horrific sins a man could, but I have never, nor will I ever, hurt children. Especially not Jacob’s child. Not after what I did.
Josiah looks down at his watch before carrying on our conversation. “Damn it’s about seven in the morning. You must be exhausted.” And he would be right. Both mentally and physically, I am drained to completion. Nothing sounds better right now than a few hours of rest. A few hours of shutting off the world. “We have a guest room you’re welcome to.”
“I’d appreciate that,” I give him a small nod before following him inside. The realization that our conversation built enough trust between us for him to let me inside removes some of the guilt sitting on my shoulders. I follow him down a small hall before we stop in front of one of the matching wooden doors. There’s three of them and I could easily estimate that the other two lead to the master bedroom and Jonas’ room. He stills for a moment, staring at me with an uncertain expression, before turning and heading back down the hall. I watch as he turns the corner, finding a new respect for humanity. It’s mind boggling tosee how far people are willing to go for others. Even the ones less deserving, like myself.
I slowly enter the dimly lit room, rays from the sunrise giving everything a soft hue. Just like the owners of this house, this room is comforting. It’s soft and safe, and full of so much fucking love.
I take in a deep breath as I soak in every detail of the bedroom. The lace curtains, the old oak dresser, the vase of dried flowers, it’s all so serene. But the peace doesn’t last long as I finally turn my attention to the bed. My heart jumps into my throat as I see Lilith staring up at me, still half asleep. Her gray irises ignited by the light filtering into the room, her hair splayed around her, so dark it’s as if a black hole had begun to consume the space around her.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in here,” I stutter out. “I can sleep on the floor.”
She frowns at me as something that looks very similar to hurt flashes across her facial features.But that can’t be it. She doesn’t want you, Kameron.
“Please lay with me,” she pleads, so low in volume I’m half convinced I didn’t hear her right. It’s not until she shuffles herself to one side of the bed, making room for me, that I know it’s real. I chew on the inside of my cheek, debating my choices.What if she just feels pressured so I don’t sleep on the ground?I don’t want to hurt her further, I’m tired of being the villain in her story.
“Please.”She says once more as a single tear falls from her eye. I trail it down her cheek before I notice the quiver in her bottom lip. My beautiful girl is on the verge of completely shattering. I step over to the bed, pulling back the covers. Instantly I feel my length begin to harden as I stare down at her. Leah must’ve let her borrow some clothes, and if there was a God, he knew damn well what he was doing when he created her.
Slowly, I lay my body down next to hers. The feeling of warmth that radiates off of her instantly comforts me. Her small hand drags the comforter back up, encompassing us both underneath it.
“Did you know about Jonas?” Lilith asks. The pain in her voice is so unbelievably raw.
“I did.”Of course I did, Lilith. She’s your best friend. I had to make sure I could get to her once I got you. I had kept tabs on her since the moment I was able to access the outside world while in prison. Anything for you. Everything for you.
“She named him after me. In remembrance of me.” I watch as she purses her lips, attempting to hold back the tears that never seem to stop coming. “She took the most intimate part of my name, Jones, and altered it for him.”
“Leah and Jacob loved you, Lilith. It doesn’t surprise me.”
“I missed the first decade of his life, Kameron.” She starts, anger slithering its way through each word. “I missed his first steps, his first words, his first day of school. I missed ten fucking years of being Aunt Lilith.”
I reach forward instinctively, cupping her cheek in an attempt to hold what's left of her together. “How can I help?”
“We’re going to burn that fucking place to the ground.”
Chapter Seventeen
“So Aunt Lilith is a zombie?” I hear a little boy giggle as I walk out of my room and into the hallway. The smell of freshly cooked bacon fills the air around me.
“No baby,” Leah sighs out, “she was just gone for a while.” Her words sting as I make my way quietly down the hall. I’ve missed so much, and now all of that time will just be more of what The Garden stole from me. We sat on her couch for hours last night, trying to fill in the void that the decade has left. It wasn’t enough. Nothing will ever be enough.
“But you told me she passed away!” He argues back. I take my first step into the kitchen, the laminate floor squeaking underneath my toes. They both turn towards me as the little boy lets out an amplified scream, followed by another bout of laughter as Leah looks at him sternly.
“Hi, Jonas,” I state, staring at him in complete awe. His complexion is darker than Leah’s, making him look like Jacob’s twin. He smiles up at me with so much happiness.
“Hi Aunt Lilith! Mama told me you’re not a zombie.”
