We’ve grown so much, and I was finally beginning to grasp hold of the idea of what it could be like to love him.And I fucking ruined it all. By just existing.The truth to that statement slams into me. Kameron could be off on some warm island by now. Surrounded by beautiful women and enjoying the sounds of the ocean. He was so fucking close to his freedom, until I came along. I just couldn’t fucking let it go. No matter how many times everyone around me begged me too. I had to play the fucking hero.
Only to find out that the real monsters were much closer to home.
The men in the woods solidified that for me. The Garden was full of snakes waiting for their next meal. I was nothing but the next rat they sunk their teeth into. They were monsters whomanipulated the teachings of God to gain power.How was I so stupid?
A soft whimper escapes me as I continue to degrade myself. The sound, being the first I’ve made since our spat, grabs Kam’s attention. He flips towards me immediately, fear coasting across his facial features. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” I whisper out. Every noise I make feels amplified in the silence surrounding us.
He gives me a small smirk before responding, “it’s okay.”
I wait expectantly for him to continue talking, but after a short moment of silence he spins on his heels before continuing his path. A rock forms in my throat, tears begging to be let out. I hold them back as tightly as I can. I’m so tired of being weak. The amount of tears I’ve shed over the last decade could rival Niagara Falls.
Instead, I force one foot in front of the other, keeping my pace steady so as to not wear myself out before we hit our destination. If there is one thing Kameron and I can still hold together, it is our ambition to rescue Adam. Wherever Kam is leading us, I know in my heart is the first step in his plan to do exactly that.
By the time the city comes into view, sharp shooting pains make their way from my toes, up through my calves. My entire lower body feels as though it's on fire, and the agonizing pain has forced us to stop more than once.
Even our short stops to let me sit for a moment were filled with silence. Kameron would simply gaze out into the woods, as if the most incredible discovery to mankind would pass by if he dare look away. I silently begged for his attention each time I waited for my body to recover. I wanted nothing more than to find some comfort within his arms.
Lights from the cabins illuminate the base of the valley, leaving me in awe of the view. Although I’ve spent most of my life in Colorado, the city nestled away in the mountains will never cease to amaze me. The headlights of cars sparkle off of the snow covered ground, creating a unique light show that feels as though it was just made for me. In this moment, the horror of what has become my everyday life fades away. I’m left with a feeling of contentment, a nice release from the constant fear that has kept me held in a chokehold for the past few months.
“It should take us about twenty minutes to reach our destination,” Kameron pipes up. My eyes turn to saucers as I process the fact that he finally spoke up. He looks back to me from his position a few feet ahead. The city lights dimly light up the curls surrounding his face, creating an ethereal glow.You made it so easy to believe you were an angel,I think to myself as I bite into my bottom lip. Even now with his anger and pain surrounding me, I can't help but feel enamored by him. And I internally curse myself for waiting so long to see it.Waiting until it was too late.
Kam quickly darts his eyes to the ground when he realizes I’m staring, and I can’t help the embarrassment that coats my cheeks. “We better get moving before the locals begin to really wake up.”
I follow him down the slope, careful to not stumble, a fall here wouldn’t be kind on me. Within fifteen minutes we’re finally approaching a small group of wood cabins. They’re more updated than the one we had been living in, but they still emulate the same homey feel. Out of the five cabins, only one has a light on inside, and I watch closely before catching a figure moving through the translucent curtains.
“Kameron!” I whisper with urgency. He spins back to me, immediately drawing the rifle that has been sitting idly on his back. “Someone is up in that one!” I do my best to control theshake in my hand as I point to the window. His eyes follow a line between the tip of my finger to the opening of the house, and I watch as his shoulders sag with relief. He turns back to me, a sad smile displayed across his face.
“That’s where we’re going, Lilith. It’s okay. It’s safe.”
I suck in a breath, trying to calm my racing heart while I process his words. It’s been months since I’ve seen anyone besides him or Adam, and worry coats me as I think about my past. I’ve been fooled many times, left my heart out in the open for everyone to see, only for those same people to take turns shattering it. Who’s to say these people are safe? How does he know for sure?
I fight to drag my thoughts back to who I told myself I would be. That I was done being a small and afraid little girl. That I was a fighter. It’s not until Kameron's hands are placed against my arms that I realize I’m hyperventilating. I look up at him through my blurry vision, and the moment our eyes sync, I crack. A sob wracks through my body as I throw both arms around him, clinging on with a desperation I’ve never had before. He has become my safe haven and I can’t lose him.I can’t ever live a life without him now that I know what it means to live with him. He is the safety net to everything I do, he is every happy ending, he is my fucking everything.
I feel his strength as his arms wrap around me, grasping on as if I would disappear if he let go. “Shh, shh, it’s okay.” His words send goosebumps down my arms and I nuzzle into him further. “I promise it’s okay, Lilith. Everything is going-”
“Lilith…?” A woman's voice sounds from over Kameron’s shoulder. My body freezes with recognition, and slowly I step to the side of Kam. Each twist of every curl on her head mingles with the light from the porch. Her dark skin gleams with health, even with such little light. But it’s when I see her eyes that I truly lose it.
I run to her, pulling her into me with all the strength I can muster. Her arms squeeze back just as tight as the familiar smell of her finds me. “Leah,” I choke out, unable to get my sobbing under control.
At first, I thought of her constantly, hoping and praying that my best friend was looking for me. As time went on, I began to feel so safe inside the walls of The Garden, I started to forget about those who were on the outside. I’m sure the initial torture didn’t help, but with my warped memories that is the only way I can recall it.
Her delicate hands reach up to stroke my hair. “It’s okay Lilith, I’m here. I have you now.” The last words leave her slightly garbled as she tries to speak through her own tears. She pulls back to look down at me, her eyes filled with so much happiness I can hardly stomach it. Guilt gnaws at me as I wrap my head around the past decade I’ve missed of her life.
As if she can see it she shakes her head, giving me a warm smile. “No sweetheart, it’s okay. Let's get you two inside.”
She turns to head back into the cabin and it's when I first notice the man standing in the doorframe. His lanky stature hits me with familiarity but I can’t quite place my finger on how I know him. While he might be a stranger, I follow Leah anyways, letting my internal alarms go unheard. I wouldn’t dare miss another moment away from her.
Chapter Sixteen
Ifollow the two girls into the house, letting the happiness in Lilith’s voice settle in my bones. I could spend lifetimes with her and never bore of her joy. If it was possible to bottle up the feelings that woman gives me, each vile would be priceless, and I would remain a happy addict to them for the rest of my time living on this earth.
Josiah shuts the door behind me as soon as both feet are through the front door. His face is engulfed in shock as he watches me with a careful eye. I can’t blame him, it’s been ten long years since he found out who I was. The email flashes to the forefront of my mind.
He stares at me now with recognition, and a dash of fear. He knows who I am and what I’ve done, more so than most. And here I am, showing up on his doorstep in the middle of the night. “What are you doing here?” He questions me, but I can tell he’sholding back the emotions. It leads me to believe he never told Leah. And just like that my sinful past has come back to haunt me.I killed her fucking husband.
Shaking my head, I plead with my inner self to quiet down long enough for me to figure out how to go about this. “We need your help,” I blurt out suddenly, catching even myself off guard. His lips pull into a frown at my words.
“You’re not welcome here, Kameron.”
