“I spend most of my nights with Noelani, and when I don’t, it’s not my choice. I felt a way the first few times she put me on ice, but then I noticed a pattern. Whenever we spend three or four consecutive days or nights together, she puts some space between us for a day or two.”
“I’m sure that, plus the comment she made tonight, makes you think she’s not as into you as you thought, but all she’s doing is protecting her heart. Based on what you’ve shared, she likes you as much as you like her, she’s just afraid of being hurt.”
I took a minute to process my uncle’s words, and I guess it made sense.
“All right, Unc. I appreciate you taking the time to help me out.”
“It’s not a problem. Hey, have you thought any more about meeting your brothers?”
I hadn’t shared with him that I thought I’d seen one of them a few weeks prior.
“Nah. I’m good. I’ll let you know if I change my mind.”
“Rowdy, you?—”
“I’m good, Unc. Thanks again.”
I ended the call before he could press me anymore. After taking a deep breath, I went back inside. As I approached our table, Noelani must have sensed my presence. She turned around and stood, looking directly in my eyes with her sad ones.
“Rowdy, I?—”
“Let’s finish up here and talk about it when we get back to your place.”
I could feel eyes on us, so I didn’t want to have this conversation here.
“But—”
“Noelani, I don’t want to talk about this here, baby. We’re good.”
She still looked sad, but she nodded and returned to her seat, as did I. The tension was thick, and we didn’t converse much except for a few comments about our shoes. An hour later, we were done. We had to leave our shoes overnight to dry, so we left empty-handed.
As expected, the ride to her place was quiet. I wasn’t interested in having this conversation in the car because I wanted to look her in the eyes while we spoke. The ride seemed longer than it actually was because of the tension, but I hoped it would be resolved soon.
I fucked up.I let my intrusive thoughts get the best of me and expressed them out loud. Once they spilled out of my mouth, my pride forced me to stand on what I’d said. I was lucky Rowdy didn’t leave my ass atKustomize Your Kicks,but that was exactly what I thought he was about to do when he got up and walked out.
The ride to my apartment felt like an hour long, even though it was only twenty minutes, and I think I held my breath the entire ride. Once inside my place, I slipped off my shoes near the door and went straight to my bedroom.
“I’m about to shower before we talk,” I said.
“Nah. Let’s talk before you shower. You’re just prolonging the inevitable.”
I sighed and turned around. He was right, so I went to the couch and sat on one end while he sat in the middle.
“I’m not gon’ bite your ass. You can come closer.”
I moved closer to him. “Is this better?”
“Yeah, but I want us to face each other while we have this conversation.”
I turned to face him, tucking one of my legs underneath me.
“Can I start?” I asked.
“Nah, I think you’ve said enough. I want you to listen.”
“Okay.”
“That shit you said pissed me off, but it fucked with my feelings even more.”
