But when Margaret left, she did feel alone. No one approached her for a dance, and she could feel so many eyes on her, however surreptitious people were attempting to be. But there was still dancing and music, and she would have to stand there and watch it for now. At least she had come. She didn't notice that Edward had slid to her side before he spoke, and she jumped, spilling a little of the champagne out of her glass.
“Oh, forgive me, Jane,” Edward said. “I can't have rather a light foot. Serves me well on the dance floor.” His grin was a little too wide as he made his joke, and his chuckle was grating.
“It is no trouble, Edward. You know, perhaps it might be unwise to stand with me this evening. It seems I am to be a pariah for now.”
“Never mind that, dear,” he said, taking her hand and laying a kiss on it. “We are family and family sticks together, do we not? It will all vanish soon enough, and Lord Balwood is the one who should be ashamed of his actions.”
Jane nodded, her eyes darting over the crowd again, wondering if he would be there, and if he would approach her. The one good thing that the scandal sheets did not mention was the fact that she and Nathaniel had disappeared from the last ball at his family's country estate, and they had been gone for a little too long. That would be a scandal she would not be able to return from. Edward made small talk, but Jane barely heard him. Instead, she heard a group of older ladies discussing her in harsh whispers not far away.
“It’s just such a surprise that Lady Jane came this evening after her name was so obviously hinted at in the scandal sheets. There are not many young women who would be so bold. In my day, one would have stayed home for a few days to let things blow over.”
“It was not as if she did anything wrong,” another old lady said.
Jane closed her eyes. She was glad to come, but she hated this. Edward nudged against her.
“Perhaps we ought to leave Jane. You might feel less exposed,” he said with another annoying smile.
“You are kind, Edward, but it is better that I remain.”
He nodded tightly, as if disappointed by her response. The dance was just ending, and as the couples began to disperse, Jane saw him. He was across the way, standing with his sister, as well as Thomas. He looked tired and serious, his hair slightly ruffled, and his cravat not perfectly straight. But as their eyes met, Jane felt her heart flip, just as it always did whenever she laid eyes upon him.
She was angry at him still, and she wanted him to know that, but somehow in his eyes she saw sadness. It was not the shame of a man caught out, necessarily, or not what she expected to see, the face of a truly greedy man having attempted to grasp at her fortune and failed. He moved across the floor and her breath caught in her chest.
He is coming.
Before, in her earlier determination, she might have stalked off. She could feel people watching everything transpire. But her feet remained where they were, frozen in place. She wanted him to come closer.
“I think we should dance, Jane,” Edward said, and before she could protest, he took her hand and pulled her to the floor just as Nathaniel was passing by. Jane's cheeks burned with embarrassment, but she could not yank out of Edward's grasp as she wished to do. Instead, she put a smile on her face and looked up at her well-meaning cousin just as the waltz began.
“Keep your eyes on me, Jane. I will show you the right way of things, and I won’t let you go. I promise.”
“You are too kind, Edward,” she told him through gritted teeth.
But her well-meaning cousin was beginning to annoy her thoroughly.
Chapter 37
Nathaniel was fatigued, and his patience was wearing thin. He had spent the whole of the early evening trying to calm his mother down before the ball. Thomas was good and had come to escort them all, and he had been able to somehow spread a feeling of confidence and peace through his family before they entered the Danver ballroom.
It had taken some time, but then he spied Jane across the way. She looked absolutely breathtaking in a blue gown, diamonds winking at her neck. She wore long white gloves, and one hand was wrapped around a champagne glass, while the other hung at her side. He could tell that she was surprised to see him there, and he was surprised to see her, too. But he was glad she was there. They needed to talk, and soon.
He was nervous, and he could feel eyes burning into him, but he didn't care. He was going to ask her to dance this next dance. He simply needed to feel Jane in his arms. But as he started across the floor, he noticed damned Lord Claridge. His fists clenching. He was determined to get there before her cousin swept her away. But just as he nearly approached, Lord Claridge did as Nathaniel had feared and took Jane out onto the dance floor, leaving him alone on the edge of it, looking like a bloody fool.
He watched with jaw tight, just for a minute or so. Before he left the ballroom, eager to get fresh air. He wasn't sure what to do if Lord Claridge was going to get in the way every time he triedto talk to Jane. The man was like an unwanted watchdog, and Nathaniel would have to think cleverly in order to get time with Jane.
He took a deep breath once he stepped out onto the balcony. He leaned over the balustrade and put his head in his hands. His valet had taken time to dress him, but Nathaniel had worked at the cravat and pushed a hand through his hair and his distress on the way over to the ball. He knew he likely looked fatigued and rumpled.
That will certainly feed the gossips even more. Lord Balwood distressed about what was stated in the papers, reputation in tatters.
“Nathaniel?”
He heard a woman's voice from behind him, and for just one moment his heart leapt, hoping that it was Jane come to see him, come to forgive him, come to let him give his explanation for his actions. They could look up at the stars together and dream, and everything could go back to the way it was before he had turned into an utter cad.
But instead, he only saw Delilah, and his heart sank. He spun back around to look out over the dark garden below. Perhaps he could run away.
No, that would certainly appear in the papers tomorrow.
“What is it, Delilah?” he asked her.
