I’ve known Sam since college. We were randomly assigned as roommates in the dorms our freshman year. Ellie and I had decided to go the random roommate route so we could meet new people, you know, expand the eighteen-year clique we had going on. Ellie got Marie, a Tri Delta pledge that was messy and brought home random dudes, while I hit the jackpot with organized, stylish, fun-loving Sam. Other than the time Sam insistedLove Actuallywas the best holiday movie ever, when it’s clearlyElf, we were a roommate’s match made in heaven, and have been best friends ever since.
Sam is originally from California, the Bay area, but decided to stay in Colorado after college, moving to the Denver area as Ellie and I did. She’s putting her fashion and merchandising degree to good use with the online boutique she has been running the last five years. With her online sales through the roof, Sam has decided to open a brick and mortar shop in the Washington Park area.
Sam just stares at me blankly, then says, “I’m confused. Why would you do that?”
“Ellie is losing her shit about not getting pregnant. The doctor just told her that the IVF procedures have failed because they think her uterus is misshapen and therefore not viable to carry a fetus. She needs a surrogate. Someone to carry her baby.”
The look on Sam’s face is a mixture of horror and confusion. But I can’t really be insulted. Sam knows me, my penchant for one-night stands, partying and general life irresponsibility. But, she also knows once I set my mind to do something, like the majority of the men’s lacrosse team junior year, that I stick to it. I don’t usually set goals, but when I do they’re pretty life changing.
“Okay, but, why you? Aren’t there professionals for that kind of thing?”
The server arrives with the donuts, and I immediately dig in. I moan when the mixture of cinnamon and sugar hit my tongue. I can feel Sam staring at me, still waiting for my response.
“Of course, there are,” I answer mid-chew, “but the cost is outrageous. Like a hundred thousand dollars. Not to mention that would be so nerve racking to have your baby inside of some random woman walking around doing who knows what.”
“But don’t professional surrogates know what they’re doing? They would know what to eat and how to take care of their bodies for the baby. And I’m sure they’re background checked. It wouldn’t be some ‘random’ woman. If you’re paying that much money there has got to be a contract and insurance.” Sam continues on, giving me her thoughts on the situation and raising all the questions that I have already thought of but dismissed.
Honestly, I think Ellie and Josh could come up with the money to hire a professional surrogate if they had their heart set on it. Even with Ellie on a teacher’s salary, Josh has a well-paid job at the bank and she’s told me they have invested well over the years. I threw out the cost and stress of an unknown surrogate, because as crazy as it sounds, I want to be their surrogate. It may be the only chance I get to have the experience of being pregnant. I’m not planning to have a kid of my own, because that would require being in a relationship with a guy that lasts longer than one night.
“And who’s to say you don’t have the same uterus issue?” Sam responds, which she’s right, it could be possible, something to be found out during the evaluation process with Ellie’s fertility specialist.
I pop another bite of doughnut into my mouth and chew.
“You have had a lot of sex and never gotten pregnant. Maybe your uterus is not baby-friendly either,” she continues as I wash the donut down with mimosa.
“Yeah, I’ll have to get checked out and all that stuff.” I just leave it there because yeah, it could be a problem.
“Brooke.” At Sam’s soft tone, my eyes lift to hers. “Your heart is in the right place for wanting to help Ellie and Josh, but you really need to think about what it means for you to do this before you jump in. You know?”
I know what Sam is thinking. I have a tendency to commit to things before I think through all of the details. But, offering to help Ellie and Josh have a baby isn’t going to be like when I joined a pet fostering program before I checked with my landlord about the pet policy. That was a lesson learned.
My eyes light up, remembering the article I read online, preparing soon-to-be mothers of the body’s changes during pregnancy.
“And, my boobs will get bigger.”
Just then, our waiter appears with our entrées. Eggs benedict for Sam and lemon ricotta pancakes for me. He asks if we need anything else before quickly retreating from our table.
Sam shakes her head, “You’re insane.”
After pouring syrup all over the fluffy stack of pancakes, I take a big bite and hum with pleasure. Sugary sweet breakfasts are my favorite.
“I really want to help Ellie. She’s my twin sister,” I say in between bites. “She’s always been there for whatever crazy drama I was going through. She’s family. And if the shoe were on the other foot, she would totally have my baby.”
“So are Ellie and Josh on board with this?”
Ellie and I have spoken a few times since our ice cream outing, though we’ve not mentioned it to Josh yet…that should be interesting. “Yeah, she’s game for it. Obviously, she has to talk with Josh. It’d be his baby inside me, too.”
Sam makes another face like I horrified her again, “Weird.”
“Yeah, I know, but it’s not like I have to have sex with him.”
Sam just stares at me as I think about how icky that would be as well. I like Josh but no, that would be gross. “Obviously,” she says.
“I don’t know. This sounds like a lot, a huge commitment, even though it is for family. Do you actually know anyone who has been a surrogate for someone? I mean, I can’t imagine it’s easy. The toll it would take on your body just with weight gain and I’m sure there’s other areas that would never be the same.” Sam looks at me very pointedly.
“Of course,” I quickly respond, a little annoyed with her lack of support. “There’s…”
I’m about to list off a few names until I realize they’re all from television shows or movies. Huh.
