“Exactly. Besides, it’s only nine months.” OMG, nine months, that’s a long time…but I can do it.
“Don’t you want to find someone?”
“I’m only thirty, stop pressuring me,” I joke.
Since she married Josh, Ellie’s been hoping I’d find the one and change my tune about marriage and babies. Even through all of my protests, she insists I’ll ‘find the right guy.’ I tend to gravitate toward guys that aren’t looking for anything serious either. It works. And there’s no hard feelings when either of us ghost out. There’s no emotional connection, just hanging out and having sex. Low expectations are the key to not being disappointed.
“Brooke, you like Josh, right? What if you had someone like him? It’s pretty great is all I’m saying. Having someone.” Ellie raises her eyebrows, like she’s half encouraging me, half scolding me for not agreeing with her.
Josh is hot in a nerdy, finance guy kind of way, and he’s perfect for Ellie, but sometimes I wonder if she thinks she settled down too early. Didn’t test drive enough cars before making her final purchase. She lost her virginity to Josh our freshman year and has been with him ever since. Guess she knew what she wanted. They’re crazy in love, which is awesome. But, I’m more of a lease type of girl, not into big purchases, and I like the idea of a quick trade-in if a newer model comes along. I’m not into cars at all so I have no idea where that analogy came from, but it totally fits.
Ellie’s a hopeless romantic and convinced that everyone should be coupled up and in love. Yet another personality trait we don’t share. Telling Ellie flat out that I don’t want to get married and have babies doesn’t seem to work. So, I try a new tactic.
“Nine months isn’t going to interrupt anything. It will give me more time to work on me. Figure out what I want.”
I think she gives up, or at least moves on when her eyes suddenly light up, “With embryo implantation you can decide how many embryos to put in. What if we had twins?”
“Twins?” My eyes widen at the thought. Then my mind starts racing, wondering if she’s thinking this would be some fun project to do together. Or, like those friendship necklaces, you keep one half and give the other away. “You’d keep them both, right?”
“Of course, silly.” Ellie’s laugh turns into a dreamy smile. “Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
I want to share her enthusiasm, I really do, but it’s just not contagious. At least not the being in charge of tiny humans part. I love that this could be a solution for Ellie and Josh, to have a baby, or babies. That I could help her in this way.
My abs are off in a corner crying at my betrayal. But I follow a personal trainer on social media that has like six kids and she looks amazing. I’ll just pop out a baby, thenBody by Rachelwill whip me back into shape.
“It would be something.” I nod. Honestly, even as an aunt, one is enough.
“But I can’t ask you to do this.”
“You didn’t ask. I offered.”
“I just don’t think you know what you’re offering.” Ellie’s smile drops, her face resigned now as she sadly watches the little girl who is picking up more rocks.
There’s that look again. The look that makes me feel like Ellie’s eight years, not eight minutes older than me. The one that tells me I’ve got another crazy idea that’s not going to work out. Like when I filled the bathtub up with Kool-Aid so we could increase production output for our lemonade stand. Or convinced Ellie to swap clothes with me at a party so I could talk to a guy she liked for her, so then she ended up accidentally getting her first kiss from my drunk boyfriend. But I’m not a kid anymore. I’m an adult, fully functioning most days, and I want to help. We’ve only got each other. For once I want Ellie to lean on me, let me help her, if I can.
“You’re right. I don’t know what I’m offering. I don’t even know if it would work or if I’d be a good candidate for surrogacy, but I want to at least try. Explore the option.”
I watch Ellie for a response. She appears to be zoned out, but I follow her gaze to find her still watching the little girl, completely transfixed with this tiny human playing with rocks. When her mom calls, the little girl drops the rocks in the flower bed and toddles over to her. She offers the toddler a bite of ice cream, then follows it up with a kiss. The little girl climbs up in her lap, now content to sit there and eat ice cream, rocks forgotten.
Ellie nods, “Okay.”
4
Brooke
“I’m going to have a baby,” I announce to my best friend, Sam.
We’re gathered at one of our usual Sunday brunch spots. The Way Back, located on Tennyson Street, the main street that anchors the trendy Berkeley neighborhood that I live in, located just northwest of downtown Denver, serves up the best cinnamon sugar mini donuts. They’re the perfect appetizer when I’m in the mood for something sweet.
Sam lives in Uptown, a neighborhood east of downtown and it was her turn to come to me. True to its name, the Highlands neighborhood is located uphill from downtown and Sam, who refuses to drive anywhere that is bikeable, has barely recovered from her arduous bike trek when I spring the news on her. She’s in mid-hair tousle, reviving her blonde wavy strands after they’ve been flattened under her helmet.
“What?” Her blue eyes widen as she pauses mid-fluff. “Wait, who’s the father?”
The waiter brings the mimosas I already ordered, grapefruit for Sam and orange for me. Sam’s eyes narrow as I lift my champagne glass.
“I’m not actually pregnant. Yet.” I take a swig of my mimosa. “You know Ellie and Josh have been trying to have a baby forever. Ellie can’t get pregnant, so I’m going to be her surrogate.”
I’m pleased by how easygoing and relaxed I sound when I say it. Because although it’s something I’ve had circulating in my brain for a while, it’s another thing completely to give voice to it. When I suggested it to Ellie yesterday, there was no hesitation. I want to help her and Josh, period. They’re all the family I have, and I would do anything for them. But I’ve been so excited at the thought of having a possible solution to their fertility issue, that I haven’t given any thought about what anyone else would think about it.
