I knew a lot about Brian, but we’d never had a deep conversation about his life. Fran had told me bits and pieces from when Brian finally opened up to her about why and how he’d ended up running an illegal drug empire. His reasons for falling into the seedy underworld were similar to Duke’s. They’d left home because of alcoholic fathers and chased money and power. Plus, they were good at it.
He searched my face, his internal debate evident in his stare.
Silence tethered us together, broken only by a car engine outside the window.
His chest rose as his Adam’s apple bobbed. “I’ve never told a soul this, not even Duke.”
My eyebrows flew toward my hairline, but I didn’t say a word, afraid if I did, he wouldn’t share. I was stymied at his admission that he hadn’t confided in Duke. He didn’t keep secrets from Duke. His words, not mine.
“You know the guilt Duke has for not being more present in your life when you were sixteen? I live with guilt too. I had a baby sister, Sarah. She had blond curls, hazel eyes, and the prettiest smile I’d ever seen.” His gaze drifted to his lap.
Hehada sister. Instantly, my tears were about to spill.
“I was supposed to protect her. I was supposed to take care of her.” He swallowed, the emotion evident on his handsome face. “I was late getting home that night. I’d been working at a corner store after school. Even though I was only thirteen, the owner needed help with stocking shelves, and I needed the money. My old man was drunk and pissed his paycheck away.” He pushed out a long sigh, finally looking my way. “I should’ve gone home when my shift ended. But the owner doubled the money if I stayed an extra hour. I wanted to bring home McDonald’s for dinner. Sarah loved Mickey D’s.” He climbed off the bed and padded over to the window.
I tracked his movements, turning my body in that direction, still holding on to the pillow.
“When I walked into the house,” he continued, “I found Sarah lying on the kitchen floor with a soup can beside her, her eyes open, not breathing.”
Oh, God. Thea’s eyes had been open after the car accident. Suddenly, I felt ill. Regardless, this wasn’t about Thea. So I went over to Brian, not caring that I was half-naked, and wrapped my arms around him from behind. Pressing my bare breasts and cheek against his back, I breathed in his scent through the thin cotton of his sweat-dampened shirt.
“I’m here for you, Brian.”
He covered my hands with his. “She’d fallen off the counter, trying to get that can of soup off the second shelf while my bastard of a father was passed out drunk, with no fucking clue his nine-year-old daughter was dead.” A muscle ticked in his jaw as he poured out his emotions. “Once I left home, I erased that fatal night from my memory, afraid if I didn’t, I would kill him.”
“Thank you for telling me. I know what it feels like to lose someone.”
He turned effortlessly in my arms then guided my chin upward. “Who?”
I wiped a tear from his face. “Thea. She was my ride-or-die sister when we lived in cages. I found her on the floor in the back seat of the car that crashed with us in it. Her eyes were wide open, but she wasn’t breathing, just like your sister.”
He moved my hair from my face, his expression soft, his touch gentle.
It was then, in that moment, I felt an even stronger connection to this man. A man who wasn’t afraid to show his emotions, which was a bit surprising given his strong personality, his fearless attitude, and his stature as a former kingpin dedicated to serving the cartel.
“My night terrors stem from those days in captivity. I don’t know that they’ll ever go away, but they have been more prominent as of late.”
“Because?”
I had the desire to tell him every detail—how John whipped me to get his rocks off or if I was out of line, how many men had their way with me at monthly parties, how I wished for death more times than I could count. All of that would turn off a man, but I would go out on a limb and bet that Brian would embrace my wounds, both physical and emotional. He wouldn’t run or treat me with pity.
Regardless, if I said it out loud, then that feeling of someone stalking me would become real. It would also start a domino effect with my brothers. We’d always known that one day, when Zane was old enough, he could pose a threat.
I wasn’t naïve about why Duke, Ted, and even Dillon were concerned about me. I simply didn’t want to deal. I wanted to find happiness, but I knew I wouldn’t unless I finally killed my demons. I just didn’t know if I was right about someone watching me.
“Baby girl, are you in there?”
I flattened my hands on his chest. “For the last several weeks, I’ve had an eerie feeling that I'm being watched. I don’t see anyone. I think it’s all in my head, which is why I haven’t told anyone. The moment I voice this to Duke, or Dillon, or even Denim, they’ll call in the cavalry.”
“But Duke already has—Knox. Which, by the way, is he still your bodyguard?”
I gave him a yes-and-no look, my face scrunching. “I slashed his tires before I drove down here.”
The color drained from his face. “Dillon said you’ve learned how to ditch the bodyguards, which isn’t good, baby girl, if you think someone is following you.”
I stepped out of his embrace, grabbed the comforter off the bed, and covered myself. Again, I couldn’t talk with him drinking me in.
“Do you think it’s Zane Smith?” he asked. “Your brothers think he’s the reason why you’re spooked.”
