“Of course they do. But I don’t know that he’s following me.”
“Why haven’t you told them what you just told me?” he asked, standing by the window, those green eyes filled with heartache, questions, and concern.
I sat down on the bed. “I don’t want them uprooting their daily lives because Ithinksomeone is following me. For all Iknow, I’m losing my mind. I’m teetering on the edge of what’s real and what’s not. Every time I run into a guy in his early twenties, I think it’s him. Even though I knew him as Zane, I’m not sure if that’s his real name.”
“Ah, the guy in the banquet hall—Josh. You were pale because you thought he could be Zane?”
“He was clearly not,” I said. He’d seemed too put together to be the son of a deranged person like John Smith.
Brian joined me on the bed. “Is this situation why you asked for my help?”
“At first. I thought if I knew where Zane was now, it might put me at ease. What is he doing? Maybe he’s a nice guy. Maybe he forgot about me.”
He pulled me to him. “How do I fit in? I don’t think I could find him.”
“But you know the drug industry well. John Smith always had cocaine available for his clients. He had to buy the drugs from someone. I thought you might ask one of your former cartel people, like the man who was in your condo, if he knew of or sold drugs to anyone in Missouri. Maybe we could get John’s real name or that of his son’s.” I nuzzled into him, feeling loved and protected. “Ted struck out. And when he investigated, he never found John’s body or Thea’s. I know the police in the Ozarks covered up everything. They were on John’s payroll. But it’s been ten years. Maybe someone is willing to talk now, but I keep going back and forth on whether I want to know.”
Brian kissed my head. “Slow down, baby girl. One thing at a time. Dillon is going to see Miguel in prison. Maybe Miguel will talk.”
I didn’t know how I felt about that, but maybe it was a start. After all, Miguel knew his clients well.
“I can’t keep living in fear, Brian.”
“I won’t let anything happen to you. But you need a bodyguard now more than ever.”
“I know. Duke will have my head.”
“I need to go to Nashville for a couple of days. Promise me you won’t ditch Knox. When I return, I’ll take the lead, if that’s okay with you.”
The last hour had been filled with so many emotional ups and downs, but nothing made me smile more than his offer. “I would very much like that.”
“Before I go, I need to talk to Duke. You let me handle him.”
“Okay,” I said as I lost the comforter and straddled him. “I’m sorry about your sister.” My fingers dove into his hair. “Why haven’t you ever told Duke?”
“I could never bring myself to tell anyone.” He kissed my chest.
I cupped his face. “But you told me.”
“You bring out a side of me that no one has been able to.”
It was my turn to kiss him. It was time to do what made me happy, and every time I was with Brian, I felt at peace—like no one could break me.
His hands roamed, wild and free. His tongue tangled with mine, as if we were fighting for control.
“I love kissing you,” he breathed. “But?—”
I pulled away, cocking my eyebrow. “You want to do this right. I do, too, but there’s nothing wrong with kissing.”
He let out a hearty laugh. “Says the woman who is giving me blue balls.”
I giggled, feeling powerful for the first time since I’d shot John Smith and escaped. But it was a much different power—sexy, confident, and in control. Like I mattered.
My life was on the upswing—or, at least, I prayed it was.
21
BRIAN
