“Just go back to bed, Zephyrine.” I should have remembered she can wander around now. I’m the one who let her. I just wasn't adequately prepared for it personally, treating this space out here like it’s my bedroom instead of a living space.
“If you’re into something kinky, I’m not going to judge you. I mean, like you said, you saw everything I was looking up.” She tries to reassure me.
The last thing I need is to think about her kinks.
“Bed.”
“Let me listen.”
“Bed,” I repeat.
“I know it said Z’s Playlist.”
I scrub my hand over my face and grab my glasses off the table so I can get a better look at her in the dark.
“So?”
“So was it stuff you found from me? Or something else?”
“Something else.”
“Then why does it say Z’s Playlist?”
“Have you considered I know someone else named Z, or that there’s an adult star I like named Z?”
“Is that the case?” she presses, and I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place like usual with her.
She doesn’t let things go, and she’s too much like me when it comes to wanting the cold, hard truth. I can’t lie to her. If I do and she finds out, and let’s be honest, women like her always find out, she’ll never trust me again. We swore no more lies.
“No.”
“So they’re my videos from my phone? You still have them?”
“Do you want them? That can be arranged.” I try to distract her again.
“So, yes, you’re watching videos from my phone, or no?” She’s relentless now.
“No, they’re not videos from your phone.”
“Do you want to keep playing twenty questions, or do you want to tell me?” Impatience seeps through her tone.
“They’re you. Fuck! They’re you, okay?” I finally cede ground and steel myself for whatever reaction she’s about to have.
“Me?” She goes stark still.
“They’re recordings of you. Ones I made when you were at the convent, and I was surveilling you.”
“They sounded like porn.”
“Some of them are, sort of.”
“Why are you listening to recordings of me that sound like porn in the middle of the night?”
“I told you. To help me sleep. I have trouble sleeping, and I got used to it at the convent.” It’s mostly true. Tonight, I just really wanted to hear her. “It’s a habit.” A desperate one, an embarrassing one now that she knows about it.
“I want to hear it.” She sits down next to me and holds out her hand. I stare at her open palm for a long beat, trying to decide whether there’s a way out of this. “I’m serious. Where you left off too. Not some random point you pick.” She pushes her palm closer to me.
I let out a ragged sigh and drop one of the earbuds into her hand. I keep the other one in my left ear, and I pull out my phone. I've done a hell of a lot of things in my life. Dodged a lot of interrogations and charges. This little nun is about to take me down with the most incriminating evidence I've ever been caught red-handed with. She pops the earbud in her ear andlooks at me expectantly as I unlock my screen and stare at the play button. When I take too long, she presses it for me.
