Drinks with Kenny.
If he showed up. He probably wouldn’t. Kenny hated confrontation more than any other person I had ever known. I chuckled as I started my jeep. Lisa was still controlling him, so maybe not much had changed. Maybe Kenny was as kind and sweet as he always had been? Perhaps he was still the same person who cared more about my career than he did about himself?
No – about us.
When I closed my eyes at night, his words still haunted me and made me toss and turn.
Kenny may have thought he was doing what was best for me – but the truth was, he was wrong. Losing him – not having him in my life – was worse in some ways than the day I found out my father had died. Losing Kenny was like losing myself. If he had stayed with me and believed in us – who knows what we could have done? What ceilings we might have smashed with the truth of us? We would never know – but I wished… I wished I could go back and get him to listen. I could wish in one hand and shit in another – but I knew which one would get full quicker.
Kenny was a stubborn ass.
But my life was changing drastically. Maybe… Maybe this time, things could turn out differently?
I was a different person, and maybe he regretted it as much as I did? Maybe he has been suffering in the same way that…
I couldn’t.
I shouldn’t.
Should I?
* * *
I walkedinto the brewery and glanced around. I was early but surprised that no one was there that I recognized. It hadn’t been that long. A lot could change in six years, but I was sure I’d recognize the friends I once spoke to every day. If things had turned out differently, I would have stayed in better contact with some of them. Greg Harday, who played shortstop, had been a great friend. I assumed that Kenny got him in our breakup, as they had been friends first.
Negotiating the destruction of a relationship is something that even the strongest of people find difficult. I wasn’t that strong. Never had been, but only Kenny had ever known that.
I grabbed a table over in the corner so as not to look like I was advertising my presence. The waitress walked over, and I ordered their house IPA. She had no idea who I was, and I admit, it was nice to be able to blend into the background for a change. That’s one of the cool things about being back home – they didn’t get it twisted when it came to famous people. They cared much more about the fact that you were from the area. If you were born here – you belonged, no matter what.
The waitress brought my beer over and smiled as she set it down in front of me.
“You wanna open a tab, honey?” Her red lips puckered as she waited for my response. I pulled out my card and handed it to her.
“Sure. I have a few friends coming tonight, and I’ll take care of everything, ok?”
She nodded and sashayed off like she didn’t have a care in the world.
I waited a few minutes, and every time the door opened, I would glance over to see if I knew them. I didn’t. I glanced down at my watch and groaned. I wasn’t early any longer. Maybe I’d just have another beer and then get out of here. Looks like Lisa dropped the ball, or maybe everyone was busy tonight, and they didn’t have any way to let me know. It’s not like they had my number any longer. When I moved to LA, one of the first things I did was get a new phone number. It was my way of healing, I guess.
The door opened, and my stomach twisted in knots.
Kenny Criss walked in and looked around. When he finally saw me, he hesitated, and for a second, I wondered if he might take off. Part of me wished that he would. Seeing him again in all his underweared glory had shaken me a little. I hadn’t been prepared to see him yet. Now that I knew he lived in town again, it made my stay here unsteady.
He walked slowly over, glancing once again at the door – his face ashen as he looked back at me sitting at the table alone.
“Hi.” His breathy voice caught me off-guard for some reason. I enjoyed hearing it, and that came with a bunch of emotions that bubbled up to the surface with more force than I predicted.
“Hi.” I bit my bottom lip.
“Just us, huh?” Kenny chuckled lowly. “That… doesn’t really surprise me.”
“Lisa?” I nodded – beginning to understand.
“Oh, yeah. She didn’t respond to my text when I said as I was on my way over.” He pulled the chair nearest me back and sat down.
“Oh…”
He nodded. “Yeah. She set us up. She’s been trying to get me to call you for years, so…”
