“You’ve got some weird thing going on with that kid,” she said and I couldn’t read anything in her tone.
“Chry?” I asked. I had no fucking clue what the hell she was trying to say.
“Yeah. And there is something up with you and Ingram, too.”
“No,” I said with a little shake of my head. “Ingram is Ky’s sister and we take care of each other around here. I figured you got that by now.”
“No, Mouse, this is more than that.”
I let out a long sigh. I was tired and was ready to sit down and relax. But she needed to talk so I was going to listen.
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter.” She let out a little huff before she spoke again. “Look, I like you and this has been fun,” she said and then forced a small smile.
“I like you too. And yeah, but I’m not seeing a point here.”
I was super confused at what she was trying to get at.
“Mouse,” she said pointedly. “I am not looking to settle down. I’m certainly not wanting to share my time with you. I mean, I get that the club comes first, so I’m not even trying to throw that in there. But I feel like half the time we’re together lately, that kid is here with you. I get the feeling that isn’t going to change. Do you get what I’m saying?”
“Well, I’m not going to tell Ingram that I can’t watch him. I’d rather have him here with people he knows than at some strange daycare where we don’t know what the hell goes on.”
“I get that. I do. But…”
“But what, Amber?” I tried really hard to hold back the sigh that was pressing against my lungs.
“Do you not see it? Ingram comes into your life, or back into your life or whatever, and you just jump in and start playing dad to her son.”
I looked at her like I didn’t know who she was. I couldn’t believe she was giving me shit about this. And I hadn’t jumped in and did the dad thing.
Only now that I thought about it, I might have seen how I did.
I knew all the shit that Ingram had gone through.
I was there when Chry took his first breath.
It may have left this connection between us that I hadn’t really realized was there.
I felt a choice coming soon. Like now.
And it told me a lot that I knew instantly what I would choose.
“Mouse, I don’t want to feel like a third wheel or almost step-mom or whatever in this thing we have going.”
“First of all, it’s a relationship,” I deadpanned. “And if you can’t even call it that, well, that tells me a lot. And second, I never asked anything of you when it came to Chry.”
“I know. And it’s just that… ugh, this isn’t fun anymore.”
“Yeah. No, I get it,” I said throwing my hands up in the air. “I mean I was just in it for thefuntoo. I didn’t spend over a year trying to make something of what we have here and thinking that I had a partner in this.”
“I told you not to expect anything. You can’t put this on me.”
“You’re right,” I said and my head shook because I shouldn’t have expected anything else to come out of her mouth. Hope was a stupid thing sometimes.
“You haven’t even touched me in like three months. Do you remember the last time we fucked?” she asked me pointedly. I couldn’t remember. I knew we had, but I felt like it had been a while. “Well, let me refresh your memory. It was nearly three months ago. I found you downstairs drunk off your ass. I knew it wasn’t about me and I had a feeling you might not even remember it. Guess I was right.”
I stood there for a moment just looking at her. That night was hazy, but I seemed to remember her being there for me and my fucked up head. She knew something was off and she didn’t even ask questions.
“It was right beforeshecame back,” Amber went on when I didn’t say anything. “Right before her welcome back home party or whatever. The one you didn’t even tell me about. The one I heard everyone talking about for the girl that I didn’t even know existed.”
