CHAPTER THIRTY
Mouse
It took me a few more days after I got back to the compound for me to get up the courage to call my parents and tell them that they were unexpectedly grandparents. While I was old enough to know better, I was also old enough to handle this. I think they realized that and that was the only reason why my dad didn’t lecture me too much. My mom seemed happy. Though I could tell that she was a little sad that we were so far away. I sensed many trips coming up soon. But not just yet. I think they understood that I wasn’t ready to travel with Sparrow.
The days that followed came with a flood of calls from them, both separately and together. My mom mostly called to beg me to video chat so she could ooh and ahh over Sparrow. And then I had Dad calling me solo to make sure I had my head on straight.
I felt like I did. I was doing the best I could and with Ingram helping me out, I didn’t feel so overwhelmed.
The biggest focus right now— other than taking care of Sparrow— was finding a place for us to live.
I loved the compound but it was no place to live while raising a child. The nights were a little too rowdy.
There was this little voice nagging me in the back of my head. One that was telling me to ask Ingram to move in with me. Or, I guess ask if she’d want to look for a place for us to move in together, was more like it. She’d mentioned a few times before that she had plans to move out of the beach house one day soon. And she’d been great at helping me try to find a place that worked for me right now. But I kept turning down the places she showed me in hopes of delaying it.
I was scared that if I did ask her that I would not only seem crazy because I was moving so fast, but worried that I might push her. I knew she wanted to be with me but I had no clue how to do all of this.
Things between us were intense when we were around each other. It was hard for me to keep my hands off of her when she was here. And when we were apart, I craved to hear her voice.
I was a sad, pathetic, lovesick fool. I knew it and I was okay with it as well.
“Hey, man,” I said as I pulled the door open to let Chris and Chry in.
“How are you doing?” he asked as Chry squealed my name and hugged my leg. I bend over and scooped him up into my arms.
“Still trying to figure all this out,” I said with a laugh.
“Row! Row!” Chry called out softly. He was so adorable. He knew that she slept a lot and so he tried to be quiet most of the time so he wouldn’t wake her. I had no idea how the kid got that but it was so fucking cute.
“She’s sleeping, buddy,” I told him and he pouted. But then he was mushing my cheeks together and all his disappointment was forgotten. “Come in.” I nodded to Chris then turned on my heels to cross the room.
I couldn’t believe that he hadn’t met Sparrow yet. Though, that was kind of my fault because I could admit that I’d been holed up in my room for the last two weeks. I wasn’t ready to bring her out just yet because I wanted her to be a little healthier. The pediatrician told me that it would be fine but with the trauma that she went through, it might be best to avoid over-stimulating situations for a little while longer. That and, well, things had kind of been crazy.
“She’s so adorable,” Chris said as he peered down at her. “You do good work, man.” We both let out a little laugh at that.
He asked if I was really doing okay. I told him that it was hard but each day was getting easier. We briefly talked about Amber but since there were little ears around, we didn’t go into great detail.
I still hadn’t processed the Amber thing. Yeah, I was sad that she was gone. Of course, I was. That said, I was still a little angry about the whole pregnancy thing. If it hadn’t gone down the way that it did, I might have never known I had a daughter.
It made me think of Mason. He didn’t know about his kid until he was like seven or something. What if that had been me? What if I didn’t know until she was old enough to find out she was adopted and decided that she wanted to search for me. Was Amber even going to give the agency my name?
All these things I tried really hard not to think about but they were there. Even the thoughts of how Sparrow might have been placed in a home that wasn’t healthy. There were a lot of shit people out there. Just look at Ingram and Ky’s parents and what they put their kids through— and that was their own blood.
Like I said, I tried not to think about it. It made my blood boil with rage.
“I want to talk to you about something,” he said turning all serious on me.
“Yeah, man. What’s up?”
“Ingram’s my family now. You know that.”
“Well, yeah,” I said a little confused as to where he was going with this.
Was he going to tell me to stay away from her? Tell me that he didn’t think we were a good idea?
I didn’t see Chris as the type but you never knew.
“I think everyone can see that she’s yours and I believe that you’ll get your head on straight and make it work. I know you’re good for her and that she cares for you very deeply.”
