“Oh, with the feelings again,” I said and rolled my eyes as I momentarily got thrown back to Dr. Walsher’s office. “I think I’m actually okay.”
“Did you guys talk?”
I hummed my reply as I pulled the spoon from my mouth. I waited until after I’d swallowed the yogurt down before I spoke.
“I want all the things with Mouse,” I told him truthfully.
There was more, I knew it. But in my mind, it was the only thing that mattered right now.
“And he…”
“Wants all the things too. I know it’s not going to be easy but nothing easy turns out to be worthwhile.”
“You are so wise beyond your years, Ingram. You amaze me.” He shot me a smile.
“On the drive back here I just kept thinking about needing to find a place with three bedrooms. I see this life with him and Chry and Sparrow. And this image I have in my head, well, it’s nothing short of beautiful.”
I drifted off in my thoughts for a moment and Chris sat there patiently waiting while I did so.
“She’s so adorable, Chris. I think I loved her the moment I laid eyes on her.”
“You have a big heart. I always knew that.”
“Come on, give me the rational big brother speech. I’m sure you and Ky talked about it some last night. How mad was he that I stayed over there?”
Chris’ head fell back as he barked out a laugh.
“He forgot all about it once I took him upstairs.”
It was my turn to laugh as I tried not to dive too deeply into those thoughts.
“We did talk about it for a little while though,” he said turning serious. “Of course we went over all the scenarios of how you would return this morning but we also figured that it was a good thing you staying over there all night. We guessed that you guys worked things out.”
“And?” I urged him on.
“We support whatever you decide. I think you know that. We will worry because that’s what we do. But I think you’ve got your head on pretty damn straight enough to make decisions like this on your own. We can’t hold you back for following your heart.”
He raised a brow at me and I picked up on what he wasn’t saying. Their journey hadn’t exactly been easy. Especially, since Ky refused to listen to his heart for a long time.
“Then tell me, oh, wise one, what is the next smart, logical step?” I asked because I was trying to do this right.
“Well, Mouse needs a place of his own,” he said with ease. “He will go crazy keeping the two of them in that room. And the compound can be… loud sometimes. I suggest you help get him to that step. I’m here too, you know. And if you happen to find a place that has enough room for all of you and maybe it feels right, I say think about it.”
“It’s not too fast?”
“The heart doesn’t run on time.”
Well, as silly as it sounded, he was kind of right.
“If that’s the way you go, we still want to help you out,” he added with sweetness in his tone.
I sighed knowing that it wasn’t much of a request. I knew Chris and Ky would sleep better at night if they knew I was taken care of. Not that he was saying that Mouse and I couldn’t handle it on our own.
I figured this was a battle I was going to have to purposely lose.
“Thank you,” I told him sincerely.
The next week I juggled my time between work, looking for a place, and checking in on Mouse when I wasn’t taking care of Chry. Most of the time I went to the compound, I brought Chry with me. He was instantly taken with Sparrow and it was so adorable.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t spent the night with Mouse again. It was just too much. I hated leaving Chry for the night and there wasn’t enough room for all of us in Mouse’s room. It was a little crazy even thinking about it. And there was no way either one of us was going to think about asking Ky if Mouse could come and stay at the beach house. That would have been too awkward for all of us.
So, yes, one of us needed to get our own place and soon.
I think we were still dancing around the subject, neither one of us bringing up the option to live together. I wasn’t really sure how to start that conversation without sounding crazy. Besides, what if I was wrong and he wasn’t really ready for that step?
So I kept looking for something that might work for each and every situation, mainly sticking to seeking out two and three bedroom places.
I knew I would have to make a choice soon. I’d either have to let this dream stay a dream a little longer or gather the courage to lay it all out there to Mouse. I just wasn’t sure what I was going to do yet.
