He holds my gaze but doesn’t speak for a time - I’d love to know what’s going on in his head.
“Did you sort things out with your landlord?”
Great, total downer conversation. “If you mean do I have to be out by next weekend, the answer is yes.”
I haven't got enough money to pay the rent. I wouldn't be here now, except all the drinks are on Jack. I don't have any money, but I don't want anyone else to know how bad it is, so I feel like I have to keep up a front.
He frowns. “What do you mean? Do you have somewhere else to go?”
“Yeah, I mean - I might be able to stay with my friend. I’m waiting to hear.”
“You don't have anywhere to go, do you? I take it this is to do with your father?”
“Kind of, yeah. I’ll sort something out.”Please stop asking me. Doesn’t he get how embarrassing this is? Having to admit that I'm a failure.
“Well, I think this might be your lucky day. I have two spare bedrooms in my house. I don't want to fill them both, but I thought I might see if I knew anyone who wanted to rent one of them. I could do with splitting the bills - you probably know that me and Jack help out Maddie.”
I know that Jack and him pay for Maddie to go to University. I also know that Robyn has offered to pay for the lot - she is rich - super-rich in fact, but they both said no, they want to pay their sisters way through Uni themselves.
All three of them were fostered at a young age, they have a strong bond. They want to do it themselves, which I understand, but when they have the choice to have it all paid, surely it would be easy just to agree? Stubbornness seems to be a family trait of them all. They are lucky they got fostered by amazing parents - I’ve met them - they clearly love them like their own flesh and blood.
“So, you're looking for a lodger?”
He nods but doesn't say anything but stares at me.
Does he mean he would consider me? Surely not. “You . . . you don't mean me, do you?”
He chuckles a deep gravelly chuckle. I suddenly forget what we're talking about, mesmerised by the sound and how his eyes crinkle when he smiles.
“Why would I be telling you otherwise?” he asks.
Why would he want me to move in? Knowing I come with problems - no money and my dad is dropping me in the shit every week. Trouble is following me around everywhere at the moment, as much as I would like to believe it is temporary, you never know...
“I don't get it. Why would you ask me?”
“Because you need somewhere to live, and I know you.”
“Youbarelyknow me.”
“I know that you're the kind of girl that vaguely knows a stranger in a bar but sees them home safe even when they say rude things to you.”
I smile. That was sweet. “I did do that,” I narrow my eyes, “and you were a little rude - but I put it down to your mood.”
Something flashed in his eyes. Sadness? Fear? I don't know.
Something occurs to me. “Wait. Are you doing this because you feel sorry for me?”
He shakes his head. “I honestly was thinking about getting someone to split the bills. I’m always out - I have long shifts at the fire station then sometimes go to the pub. I go to mum’s for tea - quite a lot actually - I enjoy the home-cooked meals.” He gives me a lopsided grin which makes him look so much younger. “You are out all day at work and at work some nights and weekends - our paths would probably barely even cross.”
I think about it - itwouldbe perfect. When he’s home, I could cook him the odd home-cooked meal to say thank you. His house is further away from the track but closer to the fire station, so closer to the pub.
“How much rent would you charge?”
He looks as though he’s thinking. “Maybe three hundred and fifty a month, including bills - you pay for your food on top of that?”
That is way too cheap. I was paying that on my flat, plus bills. “No, that's not a good deal for you.”
He nods. “Yeah, it is - that will pay the rent on Maddie’s student accommodation.”
