I shake my head, declining all offers. I scoot up on the bed, sitting straight up with my back to the headboard.
"I know I should, but I can't. I want them deleted. He will stop eventually. He needs a reason to hate me to move on and find what he deserves."
On the outside, it seems like I'm being heartless about this. I know that it does. The truth is, I miss him so much that it physically hurts. Before this, we'd never gone a single day without speaking.
I'll never get used to a life without Ander in it.
She rolls her eyes, huffs, and sits on the bed next to me. She then lies across my lap as she shoves a bag of Skittles into my hand.
"You need to eat. You haven't been eating. My mom and dad are really worried about you. They've cooked all your favorite meals, and all you do is pick at it. Look, I get it; I know it's hard. I know. Since you don't want to eat food, can you try to taste the rainbow?" She giggles as she says the last sentence, too proud of her little joke. I can't help but let out a little chuckle along with her; okay, she knows the way to my heart: sarcasm andSkittles.
Ander:Hey V, I know you blame me for everything, and I don't blame you. I blame myself. I'll never forgive myself for making you leave with me that night. I'm sorry. I'm genuinelysorry. I miss you so much, and I love you forever. I wish I could be there for you right now.
Via:I'll never blame you for any of this, Ander. The only one to blame is me. I love you forever, and I'll never stop. I meant it when I promised it, but loving you that much means I love you enough to let you go. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to be with someone who can make you happy.
Ander:Rosie, YOU make me happy.
Ander:I don't want anyone else.
Ander:I want you damn it. Please answer the phone.
Via:I can't make you happy anymore, Ander. I can't even make myself happy; my life is a mess. The only thing that would make me happy is to know that you're off chasing your dreams and living your best life. I want to know you find someone who makes your heart skip beats and gives you purpose. It can't be me.
Ander:Stop
Via:No.
Ander:I know you're hurting, but you don't want this. We don't know a life without each other.
Via:It's time for us to learn. Yours will be beautiful. I know it will be. You will meet someone who will make you forget all about me someday.
Ander:No, Rosie, I won't
Via:You promised to move on and let me go.
Ander:I can't believe this is happening
Via:Goodbye Ander. Please let me go. I need you to.
Ander:I love you
Via:I know.
I throw my stupid phone across the room and let out a scream. A scream that releases all of the pent-up frustration I've been holding back. Once I let out one, I can't stop. I grab my pillow, bury my face into it, and drown out the sounds of the pain that'sspewing from me. Apparently, I'm not being as quiet as I hoped to be because the next thing I know, Izzy is shoving me.
"V, calm down. What's going on?" She yells at me, but her tone isn't angry—it's concerned. I draw a breath in instead of yelling and collect myself before lifting my head off the pillow. I look at Izzy, and the apples of my cheeks are probably stained with tears. I can feel the heat in them, burning with frustration at myself.
"I need you to help me change my phone number. You know how to do that shit; I don't," I finally say into the silence, my voice small but confident.
"What happened?" Izzy scoots closer to me on the bed, reaching for me. I sit against the headboard and find her eyes locking in on them.
"I read the most recent text after you walked out. I shouldn't have, but I responded. I shouldn't have. I just need to do this. I need him to move on, Iz."
"Are you sure that you want to do this? That's a little extreme. You could change your mind—"
"Yes, Izzy, I need to do this. For him and me."
"If you change your phone number—"
