CHAPTER 1: PARTICULAR TASTES
Paige
“There must besomethingyou can do,” I say into the phone speaker, my voice wavering slightly. Usually I pride myself on my composure, but tonight, my resolve is wearing thin.
“I told you already, miss,” replies the exhausted voice on the other line. “Our waiting list for funded seats is full. You’re looking at an eighteen-month wait.”
“But he can’t wait eighteen months,” I reply, glancing over to my couch. There’s a shivering figure there, wrapped in a heavy blanket. My heart aches. “He needs helpnow.”
“Plenty of people need help now,” says the intake coordinator. “But the new government slashed our funding down to ten percent, and we were already underfunded as it is. We’re in the same boat as all the other addiction treatment centers in Midnight City.”
I press my fingers against my eyes. I’m so tired, but Ihaveto figure this out. My younger brother, Miles, has been struggling with substance use since we were teenagers. Earlier tonight, I got a frantic phone call from his friend telling me that he had started using again and lost his job from missing too much work. I immediately went to his apartment to speak with him. It’s not the first time this has happened, but this time, I’m prepared. I’ve done my research, and I had made a list of treatment programs in our area. Luckily, Miles was in a place where he agreed to accept help.
But unluckily, none of the programs I’ve called have any fundedspots available.
“Please, you’ve got to help me,” I whisper, not wanting Miles to hear. “It’s my little brother…he’s only nineteen. He’s ready to get help…”
“I wish there was something I can do,” they sigh. “But as I said, our funded program is full.”
A little spark of hope alights in my chest. “Well, what about your paid spots? I have some money saved. It’s not much, but…”
But nursing school can wait. It can wait if it will help Miles.
“We have spots available, if you can pay out of pocket…”
“How much?”
“There’s a two thousand dollar deposit, and then it’s six thousand a month.”
I almost drop my phone. “It’swhat?”
There’s an electronic dinging sound on the line. “Listen, I feel for you, but I have another call coming through. Call us again on Monday morning and if there are spots on the wait list, we can add your brother. But it’ll be at least an eighteen month wait, longer if we lose our funding again. Ok?”
“Ok,” I reply, but they’ve already hung up the phone.
I take a deep breath, trying to ground myself. That was the last center on the list.
“Paige?” whispers a weak voice from the couch.
“I’m here,” I reply, quickly wiping my eyes before hurrying to the couch. “I’m here, Mi.”
My brother’s ashen face looks up at me, his lips thin and pale. He has the same green eyes as our mother did. It feels like my heart is in a vise. I kneel down beside the couch, taking his cold hand I mine. I don’t know how to tell him that I couldn’t find a program for him. But looking at the expression on his face, it seems like he already heard.
“They…they don’t have spots available, do they?” he whispers.
It’s agonizing to see the defeated look in his eyes. But I put on a brave face. I have to be the brave one, for both of us. “No, they don’t. But we’re going to figure this out, Miles…”
He squeezes my hand, and pushes himself up onto his elbows. “I think I’ll be ok, Paige. Honestly, I feel better already. I don’t want you to worry about me. If I just tough it out, I can do it on my own…”
“I know how strong you are, Miles,” I tell him. “But sometimes, even if you’re strong, you can still relapse. Sometimes people need extra help, and that’s exactly what these programs are designed to do.”
“But if there are no spots, it’s no use.”
“Well,” I shrug. “They have paid spots. Maybe…”
“You’renotusing your school money,” Miles replies firmly. “You need that, Paige. I promise, I’m going to get clean. It’s not…it’s not going to be like…”
His voice wavers, and he can’t meet my eye. The blanket slips off his shoulders. He’s wearing an old, baggy band T-shirt. It’s his favourite group. When he turned sixteen, I took him to see them perform. It was his first concert. He was the happiest I’ve ever seen him, screaming all the lyrics at the top of his voice. It was wonderful to see him like that, after everything we’d been through that year.
