The fire becomes even more massive as the ritual goes on. The entire school is gathered around the flames. I’m not comfortable around fire and I start to feel edgy being so close to it, but I keep breathing and remind myself that nothing is going to happen with so many witches around.
Right?
Pan nips at my earlobe and I realize (with a painful drop in my stomach) that everyone is turned toward me.
“Oh, um…” I stammer, reaching back in my mind for the words. I try my best to enunciate but my anxiety makes my voice waver. “Hallowed spirits, we call upon you as our kin, to sanctify this night and all nights!”
June takes the next turn, her voice clear as a church bell. I wipe a drop of sweat off my brow with the sleeve of my robe.Aswe each take turns with our incantations, figures start to form in the fire, undulating like wild dancers and disappearing into ember. My mother is the lightning rod for the raw power of the ceremony, standing grandly at the west point of the circle. She’s so powerful and self-assured. I realize with a jolt that I’m actually really proud of her.
As the ceremony builds to a crescendo, June hands each of us an offering of wooden sticks and herbs.
“Your mom is so awesome,” she whispers, and I can’t help smiling. Maybe June’s not so bad, after all. Maybe she’s just jealous, who could blame her? She’s worked so hard for her craft, and I only get to participate because I have a badass mom.
“Echoes of our ancestors, visit us this night!” Lydia chants. “We offer to you sustenance so you may rise again!”
On that note, we throw our offerings into the fire, and it climbs higher than the tops of the tallest trees.
And my robes go up in flame.
I black out.
When I come to, I’m naked, shivering in the clearing. I can smell burnt hair and feel the sickly prick of hurried healing spells all over my skin. Lydia stands above me, moving her hands over me as the spells work.
Hot tears sting my eyes. I’m overwhelmed by humiliation and fear. I stumble to my feet, pushing my mother away.
“Just leave me alone! Just leave…me…”
“It’s ok, love,” Lydia whispers urgently, “there must have been an accident with your spell…there’s no harm done, you’re safe, it’s not like that other time…”
Her dark red hair is frizzing and there’s soot on her nose. Her cat familiar licks my face with his rough tongue. I push him away angrily.
All I want is to be in my bed, pretending that this never happened.
Pantalaimon waves to me with his tail. I run after him. Blinded by tears, I follow Pan back to the entrance of the academy. My feet, torn up by the rocks and underbrush of the woods, leave bloody footprints on the stone floors.
When I get to my room, I collapse into bed, letting my sobs out.
“Maggie,” Pan whispers, tucking the blanket around me with his tiny claws. “It’s ok, Maggie, just breathe. You’re safe.”
“I don’t…I don’t like fire…”
“Shh, Maggie, it’s ok.”
I struggle to push back the flood of nightmares, of bad memories…
I never should have come here. I hate it here. Why did I think I was ever going to belong?
Rae
I follow the red footprints back to our room.
Our room…I’ve never thought of it that way. An unfamiliar warm feeling washes over me as I creak open the wooden door.
“Maggie?” She’s curled up on her bed, half-covered by the blanket. “Are you ok?”
She stirs, but doesn’t say anything. I wonder for a moment if this was a mistake, but I push the thought aside. I’ve always acted on instinct, and I know this is what I need to do.
My suitcase is still unpacked by my bed. I grab an oversized T-shirt and pull it over my head. I quickly find a long-sleeved hoodie. It’s nothing special, but it’s warm and comforting. I bring it over to the other bed.
