Melissa knew he was right. Despite their private agreement to explore and consider, they would be allowed only so long before their families—currently holding back—would expect to hear some definite decisions. When he waited, patient as ever, she faintly grimaced. “I realize we have limited time, that we can’t put matters off forever, yet…” Where to start?
When she didn’t immediately go on, he sat up and shifted to face her. His gray gaze steady on her face, he said, “If you were asked to design your ideal relationship, how would you describe it? What elements would you include?”
She drew in a breath and, before she could overthink things, gave voice to the words that leapt to her tongue. “I’d want someone to share life’s ups and downs with. Someone who sees and responds to things in the same way I do.”
“Someone with the same or at least similar views and attitudes?”
She waggled her head. “They wouldn’t necessarily need to think exactly as I do. Perhaps I should say they would need to share the same overarching values I hold.”
He smiled. “Because it never hurts to hear different perspectives?”
“Exactly!” Of course, he understood. She went on, “Discussing and even arguing points clarifies one’s views, so I should also stipulate someone to whom I can speak freely and engage with without reserve.”
He nodded. “We’re making progress, and I wholeheartedly agree with your points.” He hesitated, then offered, “While my view of my perfect match doesn’t notably differ from yours thus far, I would add that my someone would be committed to the same ideals and, in terms of those, be prepared to work to advance them and to hold a line if challenged…” He trailed off, then amended, “The crux of that is they should share my commitment to making things better for others and to building something that lasts.”
Regarding him, she said, “That sounds entirely laudable.” She tipped her head. “Are you speaking of the earldom specifically?”
“The earldom, yes, but not only that.” Julian paused, ordering his thoughts, then went on, “I can see both a broader and also a narrower focus. For instance, more narrowly, the family at the center of the earldom, while on a wider stage, the situation of all who live in the county or even the country.”
“Do you feel the same sense of purpose should extend to those other arenas?”
He smiled. “This illustrates what you said earlier, about being able to talk freely and the benefits of the same. But to answer your question, I suspect my prioritizing would move outward, like concentric rings, from my immediate family, to those dependent on the earldom, to those in the surrounding communities, to all in the county, and ultimately, to all in England.”
“Concentric circles.” She nodded. “That’s an illuminating way of thinking of it.”
“And if you think of commitment as a defined amount of paint spread over the increasingly larger areas, then the analogy works in that respect, too, with the intensity of the color indicating the degree of effort applying to each ring.”
“Each ring of ambition and influence. Yes, I see. The farther out from the center, the more diluted one’s force will be.”
They fell silent, both thinking, then he smiled ruefully and met her eyes. “We’ve become rather philosophical and strayed from our original focus.”
She arched her brows in question, and he replied, “Us.”
When she looked at him challengingly, he sat straighter, then captured and held her gaze. “You haven’t married because no gentleman offered sufficient incentive to entice you to favor him with your hand. Is that an accurate statement?”
His years of negotiating were coming to the fore, but if that was what it took…he was willing to use all the skills he possessed to achieve his goal—namely, her as his wife.
She tipped her head, then conceded, “That’s a fair assessment, but I’m not sure where it gets us.”
“I’m trying to learn what it will take to persuade you to put your hand in mine and front an altar.”
She almost smiled at his dry tone, but she straightened her twitching lips and said, “You want to make our engagement real.”
That wasn’t a question, but he nodded and confirmed, “I do.”
When she continued to regard him with what he was coming to think of as her assessing look, he baldly asked, “What about you?”
Such a short, simple question.Melissa returned his regard as the magnitude of all that hung on her answer weighed on her mind. But they were here, and he was right; they had to address this issue and, at least between them, decide what they wanted.
It’s time.
“I had all but turned my back on marriage,” she admitted, “precisely because of what you said—because no gentleman offered me reason enough to consider marrying him.”
He spread his hands to either side. “You know what I have. You know what I can and will offer you as my wife.”
She couldn’t stop a faintly cynical smile. “I know the tangibles—the title, the estate, the houses, the wealth and position—but it’s theintangibles that make all the tangibles worthwhile, that give them real value. It’s not being your countess that matters, it’s what I can achieve and create through being your countess that carries weight with me.” She took a moment to canvass her thoughts, then sensing that she finally had a grip on them, went on, “To my mind, it’s the intangibles that make a marriage work, certainly over time.”
He cocked his head. “By intangibles…you mean respect, honor, caring, affection?”
