“What would that mean?” I ask.
“Kendra manages a plethora of safe houses. Has connections with those who can forge paperwork for those needing new identities. She makes people disappear,” explains Charlie, her voice slow, drawn out. Like instead of offering me an idea, she’s delivering terrible news.
“It wouldn’t matter if she made me disappear,” I say. “I would still have to turn him over.” I stop, realizing now their meaning. “You mean you want to separate him from me? You want to make my son disappear.”
Our attentions turn to Nolan. My husband blinks at me. And though the realization aches in the folds of my gut, I know this is the only way forward.
“She could make you disappear too,” I say. “Couldn’t she?”
Nolan cranes his neck to the side, his jaw bulging. “Absolutely not. I’m not leaving you. I’m not leaving my wife.”
My heart cracks in two.My wife. What a beautiful, terrible phrase. “You wouldn’t really be leaving me, though. I would know that out there somewhere, you were taking care of our son. That you were raising him. That even if he didn’t get to grow up with his mother, he’d at least have his father.”
The sinister voice in the back of my head reminds me that of the two of us, Nolan would be a better parent, anyway. Still, it feels sickly, the idea of giving up my child. But now that it’s rooted in my head, I can’t seem to make it go away, can’t seem to see around it. The idea grows trunks and leaves and thorns, blocking my sight from any other path.
But I don’t mind.
I didn’t want to see a path where Nolan was forced back into the arms of the Sister. A path where my son would grow up nursed by a predator.
Really, if I think about it, this is more happiness than I ever thought would be granted to me—knowing that somewhere out there, my son was with his father, well taken care of.
“No. No, that’s not an option,” says Nolan.
“What else do you suggest?” I ask. “That this Kendra send our son away? Find him another family?”
Nolan glances up between Maddox and Charlie.
“Kendra still does that too, on occasion,” says Charlie.
“Yes,” says Nolan, practically grinding his teeth to powder. “When the parents are not capable of raising the child.”
“Which I am not,” I say, fixing my gaze on Nolan. “But you are.”
Nolan’s face hardens, and he tears his gaze away from mine.
“We’ll speak to Kendra,” he says. And for now, despite the anger in my husband’s voice, that’s enough.
CHAPTER 34
Kendra—the one they say makes people disappear—does not live in an ornate manor like I might expect.
Instead, we travel a two-week journey to a mining village on the inland of Kruschi, and make our way to the mines. A guard stationed out front recognizes Nolan and leads us down through the tunnels into the mine. We even ride a cart down into the belly of the earth.
By the time we’ve reached the bottom, my stomach feels queasy.
“Are you all right?” asks Nolan, grasping my hand.
I fight the urge to grab at my belly, not wanting to concern him. I suppose my symptoms are beginning to manifest.
“Yes, I’m fine,” I say, and we make our way from the cart and through a large metal door.
Inside is a woman behind a desk, her feet propped up and crossed as she leans back in her chair. She has long red hair that flows in waves around her, pooling into her lap. She arches her already sharp brows when we walk through the door.
“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” she says, lips drawn into a smirk as she peers at Nolan, at which point I immediately tense and glance in his direction. He shakes his head slightly.
Discomfort settles in my belly, but I try to push past it as she invites us deeper into the room. Nolan and me first, Maddox and Charlie filing in behind us.
Kendra—at least, I assume that’s who the redheaded woman is—gestures to a woman behind her chair who lurks meekly in the shadows of the room. She has long silver hair and gray eyes, though she doesn’t appear to be much older than me.
