I feel the blood drain from my face.
Charlie reaches into her pocket, pulls out another coin purse, and sets it on the table.
CHAPTER 29
When a golden mark in the shape of a crescent appears on my skin, Charlie cries.
We’ve been sitting in her room for half an hour, staring at my wrists. The apothecary told us the results could take up to five hours after drinking the vile liquid.
It had only taken one.
I hardly hear Charlie sobbing next to me, hardly feel her grab my shoulders and pull me sideways into her chest.
If you had told me four years ago I’d one day have married my Mate and discovered I was to bear his child, I would have thought this would be a joyous occasion. A milestone I never expected for myself, but would have felt honored to experience.
I would have pictured my Mate picking me up and twirling me around, shouting for joy.
In reality, I feel nothing at all. Just the gentle caress of that familiar numbness that I’ve so often found respite in.
I’d always pictured myself holding my belly when I found out. But I don’t want to hold my belly. Don’t want to acknowledge what will only be ripped from my arms.
“It has to be a girl,” says Charlie, still crying. “It has to be.”
“What has to be a girl?”
The voice has Charlie and me starting. We whip around to find my rain-soaked husband standing in the doorway.
My heart stopsin my chest as I find my husband’s moonstruck face in the doorway.
Charlie beats me to speaking.
“Captain, I’m so sorry.” She jolts from the bed and runs toward him, but stops halfway, her feet skidding on the rug. She stands there with her hands out, like she doesn’t know what to do with them.
“I didn’t mean to,” she says. “I didn’t know. The Sister tricked me.”
She’s rambling now, tears spilling down her face. I long to go to her, to wrap my arms around my friend and comfort her. But I’m frozen on the bed, still numb with shock.
Nolan looks just as stunned. He stares at her, then swallows, a pained look in his expression. He turns away from Charlie and shifts his attention toward me.
“Are we having a child?”
The only reaction I can manage is to nod, but I’m trembling so fervently, I can’t be confident it looks all that different than shaking my head.
“Very well.” My husband’s voice is devoid of any reaction whatsoever. He stares at me blankly, then glances down at my stomach, his forehead crinkling in consternation.
“Captain,” says Charlie, her voice a plea.
He doesn’t look at her. “Charlotte, I need you to leave me with my wife.”
“I’m…” She stops herself, shame constricting the muscles underneath her jaw, then scurries out the door.
Nolan steps into the room and closes it behind him. Now that I’m alone with my husband, there’s a chill in the air where thereshouldn’t be. There’s no window in Charlie’s cabin. No draft to speak of.
“When did you discover this?” His voice is firm but not demanding. Practical, if anything.
“Just a few hours ago,” I say. “Charlie and I went to the apothecary to get more of the contraceptive. Apparently what I’ve been taking… Well, it’s not a contraceptive. We think the Middle Sister tricked us. Whether she sent one of her servants or appeared in a different form, I don’t know.”
Nolan neither shakes his head nor nods, still processing.
