“No, but eventually, you’ll resent me when I don’t meet expectations.”
“You can’t just assume things about how I’ll eventually feel. I’m not looking for a homemaker. I’m looking for a partner who will rewrite the roles inside our relationshipwithme.”
“Maybe I just like my independence too much.”
“I promise I’m not trying to take anything from you. I just want to add to your happiness.”
“You do add to my happiness, but I don’t add to yours. And that’s not fair to you. You need someone who will do kind things for you the way you do them for me, and I’m not that person. I’m not thoughtful and soft.”
I smile a little. “I don’t need that. I like taking care of you.”
“I don’t know. Nothing makes sense.” She covers her face with her hands, shaking her head back and forth. “I can’t even make sense of how I’m feeling.”
I stand and walk toward her, slowly pulling her hands down from her face. “You don’t have to make sense of it all right now.”
Her shoulders lift and fall in defeat. “I just know I’m broken, and I can’t explain why.”
“You’re not broken to me.”
“But I am!” She throws her arms out. “I led you on.”
“You didn’t lead me on.”
“Yes, I did. Two weeks ago, I let us cross a physical line. I promised you that I was sure, and now I’m taking it all back.”Tears fall, gracefully rolling down her cheeks. “Who does that? Who hurts the person they love like that?”
Camila has never told me she loves me. I haven’t needed her to say those words out loud because I’ve felt her love in other ways, but the fact that she let it slip now gives me enough confidence to sit back while she works through these feelings on her own.
“Camila, I’m not hurt. And I don’t regret a single moment with you.”
“I just…I thought I was sure when we did that, and now, everything is messed up.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“Seeing Glen reminded me that none of this is real. We’ve been living in this happy bubble, but it’s not real life.”
“Everything between us is real to me. I’ve been one hundred percent honest and genuine with you.”
“Maybe I haven’t. Maybe I’m not capable of being honest with my feelings. I thought I was over all my trust issues, but seeing Glen messed me up. I can’t explain it because I don’t even understand it.”
Her words come out laced with heartache, and I wish I could relieve her of this pain, but I can’t. Camila has to face it on her own.
“Hold on,” I say, turning and running into the living room.
“Where are you going?”
“Just hold on.” I lift a loose stone on the hearth and grab a red velvet box from the hiding place, cupping it in my hand as I rush back to her. “I got this for you before Selena’s wedding.” I open the box, showing a simple gold band with a tasteful oval diamond. I slip the ring on her finger. “I don’t even know what you say in a situation like this.” I look up at her, a soft smile on my face. “I want to stay married to you. I promise I can handlewhatever life throws at us—whatever scares you. I know we can get through it together.”
Her lips tremble. “Iamscared.”
“Take the time you need to figure things out. I’ll be here when you’re ready, when it doesn’t feel so daunting.”
“I don’t know how to figure it out. Nobody ever taught me.”
“You’re not giving yourself enough credit.”
“And maybe you’re giving me too much credit.” She slides the ring off her finger, picks up my hand, flips it over, and places the ring in my palm. “I’m sorry.”
I smile back at her. “You don’t ever have to be sorry.”
